Rabbi Marc Angel answers:
Is it permissible to study cultures where people traditionally are not dressed according to our standards of modesty e.g. various tribes in Africa, aborigines, peoples of tropical cultures?
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Those in the conversion process or contemplating the conversion process might also want to check out this fabulous, succinct book by Rabbi Angel: "Choosing to Be Jewish: The Orthodox Road to Conversion".
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Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Why Planned Parenthood Gets a Bad Rap
For too many people, all they think when they hear Planned Parenthood is "abortions." But I've been to Planned Parenthood many times since my 18th birthday to utilize their gynecological services, especially when I was uninsured and I could count on their sliding scale or free services. The first time I went, I was 18 and uninsured and even though I hadn't had sex yet, my Seventeen magazine said every young woman at that age should get checked out. In fact, one friend went to Planned Parenthood, also a virgin at about the same age, and discovered she had a pretty bad yeast infection.
My first experience at Planned Parenthood was so hilarious, I ended up writing a short story about it for my Comedy Writing class at Fordham University. It was one of those uncomfortably funny but not as graphic as Judd Apatow films kinda story. The girls were shocked. The guys said it was eye-opening since they were never going to be in the position to end up at the doctor and "spread 'em into those cold stirrup things." I still have the story somewhere but if I posted it here, my husband would probably kill me so I'll just say that the doctors and nurses were very sweet and kind to a girl whose own sisters hadn't ever seen her naked and who had ignored all those Sex Ed. classes in high school because "I was never going to have sex." My mother and friends had, after all, voted me most likely to become a nun.
One recent summer, even when I DID have healthcare, but was far from home, I called every doctor in the Pico-Robertson/Beverly Hills area and found out that every single one was on vacation and couldn't see me for another two months. That's how I found myself at the only place that would see me right away: Planned Parenthoood to get a check-up, find out why my period was missing-in-action and why I was experiencing pelvic pain. I hadn't been to Planned Parenthood since my late teens and early 20s and I think I was older than every young woman in the waiting room but I was crying my eyes out, scared I was pregnant and that my baby would have two or three heads because of all the medications I was on for my chronic pain. I was also scared something was really wrong with my plumbing and every worst-case scenario played out in my mind.
It turned out everything was fine. My period was MIA because of one of those medications I was taking. The nurse held my hand while I cried from relief. And as they had been years before and in New York, the doctors and nurses were really kind. When I asked what I needed to pay, they said I could pay whatever I could afford. At the time, it wasn't much. There was very little in my bank account that day but I was ever so grateful that they could see me right away and for their kindness that I paid the full price and later gave them an online donation.
Planned Parenthood offers affordable medical care to men, women and teens. It isn't this "abortion clinic" that people try to make it out to be. And even though my bank account was low again, I made a donation to them again recently when I started reading about how some idiots in Washington, who have probably never been to a Planned Parenthood or poor and uninsured with nowhere else to turn, were planning to put legislation in place to target Planned Parenthood and women's (sexual health).
So that's my two cents but otherwise "my uterus is none of your business." :)
UPDATED-PLEASE NOTE: Thanks to the reader who warned me that Google had attached an advertisement asking to ""support Michele Bachman in her plan to defund Planned Parenthood." All advertisements on my blog are controlled by Google and I have no control over them and obviously do not support defunding Planned Parenthood.
My first experience at Planned Parenthood was so hilarious, I ended up writing a short story about it for my Comedy Writing class at Fordham University. It was one of those uncomfortably funny but not as graphic as Judd Apatow films kinda story. The girls were shocked. The guys said it was eye-opening since they were never going to be in the position to end up at the doctor and "spread 'em into those cold stirrup things." I still have the story somewhere but if I posted it here, my husband would probably kill me so I'll just say that the doctors and nurses were very sweet and kind to a girl whose own sisters hadn't ever seen her naked and who had ignored all those Sex Ed. classes in high school because "I was never going to have sex." My mother and friends had, after all, voted me most likely to become a nun.
One recent summer, even when I DID have healthcare, but was far from home, I called every doctor in the Pico-Robertson/Beverly Hills area and found out that every single one was on vacation and couldn't see me for another two months. That's how I found myself at the only place that would see me right away: Planned Parenthoood to get a check-up, find out why my period was missing-in-action and why I was experiencing pelvic pain. I hadn't been to Planned Parenthood since my late teens and early 20s and I think I was older than every young woman in the waiting room but I was crying my eyes out, scared I was pregnant and that my baby would have two or three heads because of all the medications I was on for my chronic pain. I was also scared something was really wrong with my plumbing and every worst-case scenario played out in my mind.
It turned out everything was fine. My period was MIA because of one of those medications I was taking. The nurse held my hand while I cried from relief. And as they had been years before and in New York, the doctors and nurses were really kind. When I asked what I needed to pay, they said I could pay whatever I could afford. At the time, it wasn't much. There was very little in my bank account that day but I was ever so grateful that they could see me right away and for their kindness that I paid the full price and later gave them an online donation.
Planned Parenthood offers affordable medical care to men, women and teens. It isn't this "abortion clinic" that people try to make it out to be. And even though my bank account was low again, I made a donation to them again recently when I started reading about how some idiots in Washington, who have probably never been to a Planned Parenthood or poor and uninsured with nowhere else to turn, were planning to put legislation in place to target Planned Parenthood and women's (sexual health).
So that's my two cents but otherwise "my uterus is none of your business." :)
UPDATED-PLEASE NOTE: Thanks to the reader who warned me that Google had attached an advertisement asking to ""support Michele Bachman in her plan to defund Planned Parenthood." All advertisements on my blog are controlled by Google and I have no control over them and obviously do not support defunding Planned Parenthood.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
It's Almost Bikini Season...or Not.
"Come on ladies, it's almost bikini season!" my Aqua Aerobics teacher likes to yell whenever she reminds us to "engage our core muscles" during our weekly class. [My doctor makes me go to these water aerobics classes because they're very good for my joint hypermobility syndrome (HMS) and my fibromyalgia (FMS) . Before I knew I had HMS, I learned to swim at age 27 to help my fibromyalgia but discovered that swimming was hard on my as-yet-undiagnosed HMS and while in the water I'd feel pretty okay, I'd get out of the pool and explode into higher levels of fibro pain.]
Honestly, I haven't worn a bikini since 2005. Even though, I made the decision to finally begin the Orthodox conversion process in a bikini on the beach in Santo Domingo while reading one of my all-time favorite books, "Path of the Just" by Moshe Hayyim Luzzatto.
Along with Hannelore Marx, the Holocaust survivor who I met at age 13, along with my inspiring college best friend who became frum/religious in his mid-20s and lent me the aforementioned book to read on my family vacation, it was Luzzatto's book that inspired me to finally make the leap into the official conversion process. (You can read more about the people who inspired me to convert and during the conversion process in this piece: "Conversion is So Not Original".)
But I digress, back to this bikini season stuff. I know those of you who got snowed on for April Fool's Day on the East Coast feel like Spring is far, far away, forget summer! Here in LA, we were blessed last week with 85 degrees that left me with a red neck despite the SPF 60 I slathered on.
I have Orthodox friends and family who have different takes on the bathing suit issue. Some wear regular bathing suits with t-shirts and shorts over them but I've found this is really difficult for water aerobics or swimming. Others, I know, avoid the pool and beach at all costs. "Too much of a hassle." Some make the decision that the beach is the one place where it is appropriate to wear a one-piece suit or a tankini suit or even a modest, if there is such a thing, bikini. Last year, I made the decision to wear a regular tankini with shorts bottom swimsuit around my girlfriends during "Women's Only" swim hours at an outdoor pool but I doubt I'll do that too much this year since I'm so sensitive to the sun.
These days, whether I'm in the pool or at the beach (even in Santo Domingo which last visited in 2007 after my conversion), I wear this lovely Aqua Modesta 4-piece swim suit (Style #2604B) in black and brown. Because of the piping, it reminds me of those 1970's Adidas suits I inherited from my mother as a teenager and wish I still had now so I could have been Sue Sylvester from "Glee" for Purim.
One Orthodox family member who saw me in my Aqua Modesta suit asked if I was was wearing it for modesty or personal reasons. I could tell she thought I was being distastefully "too frum," which was funny to me because she was in a tiny bikini because we were just around family--male and female--and she's the one who always wears these gloriously gorgeous sheitels and covers every bit of her body up on land, if not water. The Orthodox women who usually criticize my swimsuit, I feel, are projecting their own issues about what they wear in the water since it's only women in bikinis who seem to have a problem with my swimsuit. So, let's be clear: I really don't care what you wear, I'm just telling you what I do and why.
I explained it was a little of both. I wear my Aqua Modesta swimsuit for modesty and personal reasons. I don't miss having my goods on display for all the world to see. I mean, other than the Speedo, men's bathing suit's are pretty modest compared to what you see on the women's rack. I definitely don't miss having to slather on a fortune of sensitive skin sunblock on my body. (I inherited my father's light skin that reddens in the sun, not my mother's dark skin.) Also, I love that the suit keeps me warm in cool water and doesn't get in the way of any water aerobics exercises or any kind of swimming I want to do.
TMI (Too much information!): The ladies reading this blog will probably read further into this and note that being covered up also means I don't have to go through the ritual torture of painfully being waxed into a pre-puberty state during bikini season. But thanks Carrie for sending me a coupon just in case I did want to GO THERE. NOT. This story is a whole other blog in itself.
When I was 21, recovering/suffering from body dysmorphic disorder, I wore as little as possible on land and in the water. I remember the embarrassment of sinking down into the bottom of the sand under the sea and coming up with my bikini top undone. Wardrobe malfunction! And I remember being both ashamed and sickly happy that strange men ogled me and made completely rude comments that both objectified me and "complimented" my body. At the time, I tried to deal with how much I hated my body (a perfect size 0) with showing as much of it as possible.
At nearly 31, married and a near perfect size 6, there's only one person in my life that gets to see the goods. And enough trips to the dermatologist have taught me that I need to be more careful in the sun that most people. So I don my Aqua Modesta swimsuit proudly and comfortably everywhere there's water nearby. Criticism be damned. My husband jokes that I can walk out of the pool and jump in the car without anyone knowing I'm wearing a swimsuit since it can easily pass as a dress and dries so quickly.
I also love that Regine Tessone, the Orthodox Jewess who designs these swimsuits, went to the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT). I almost went there, too, but at the last moment I decided to major in English at Fordham University instead of Illustration at FIT after years (I've been drawing since 3 years old) of thinking I would grow up to be an artist and...maybe write on the side. Most of my friends attended FIT and to this day, I am still pondering the road not traveled.
Depending on the crowd, non-Jewish or Jewish, my swimsuit has drawn curious questions, suggestions or praise. Just this week in my aqua aerobics class, when the pool was a bit too cool, many of the elderly--but way more buff and tough than me--women asked after my swimsuit and whether it kept me warm because their teeth were chattering in their one-piece suits in the too cool pool.
So, this is just a long-winded way (this is what happens when you're away from writing too much, you can't remember how to be concicse!), I love Aqua Modesta swimsuits and cover-ups. Whether for modesty, health or other personal reasons, these suits rock and last for years if you take care of them right. They definitely don't disappoint!
Please check out other styles of Aqua Modesta swimwear at: http://www.aquamodesta.net. You can enjoy FREE SHIPPING this month by entering coupon code: freeship at checkout.
Honestly, I haven't worn a bikini since 2005. Even though, I made the decision to finally begin the Orthodox conversion process in a bikini on the beach in Santo Domingo while reading one of my all-time favorite books, "Path of the Just" by Moshe Hayyim Luzzatto.
Along with Hannelore Marx, the Holocaust survivor who I met at age 13, along with my inspiring college best friend who became frum/religious in his mid-20s and lent me the aforementioned book to read on my family vacation, it was Luzzatto's book that inspired me to finally make the leap into the official conversion process. (You can read more about the people who inspired me to convert and during the conversion process in this piece: "Conversion is So Not Original".)
But I digress, back to this bikini season stuff. I know those of you who got snowed on for April Fool's Day on the East Coast feel like Spring is far, far away, forget summer! Here in LA, we were blessed last week with 85 degrees that left me with a red neck despite the SPF 60 I slathered on.
I have Orthodox friends and family who have different takes on the bathing suit issue. Some wear regular bathing suits with t-shirts and shorts over them but I've found this is really difficult for water aerobics or swimming. Others, I know, avoid the pool and beach at all costs. "Too much of a hassle." Some make the decision that the beach is the one place where it is appropriate to wear a one-piece suit or a tankini suit or even a modest, if there is such a thing, bikini. Last year, I made the decision to wear a regular tankini with shorts bottom swimsuit around my girlfriends during "Women's Only" swim hours at an outdoor pool but I doubt I'll do that too much this year since I'm so sensitive to the sun.
These days, whether I'm in the pool or at the beach (even in Santo Domingo which last visited in 2007 after my conversion), I wear this lovely Aqua Modesta 4-piece swim suit (Style #2604B) in black and brown. Because of the piping, it reminds me of those 1970's Adidas suits I inherited from my mother as a teenager and wish I still had now so I could have been Sue Sylvester from "Glee" for Purim.
One Orthodox family member who saw me in my Aqua Modesta suit asked if I was was wearing it for modesty or personal reasons. I could tell she thought I was being distastefully "too frum," which was funny to me because she was in a tiny bikini because we were just around family--male and female--and she's the one who always wears these gloriously gorgeous sheitels and covers every bit of her body up on land, if not water. The Orthodox women who usually criticize my swimsuit, I feel, are projecting their own issues about what they wear in the water since it's only women in bikinis who seem to have a problem with my swimsuit. So, let's be clear: I really don't care what you wear, I'm just telling you what I do and why.
I explained it was a little of both. I wear my Aqua Modesta swimsuit for modesty and personal reasons. I don't miss having my goods on display for all the world to see. I mean, other than the Speedo, men's bathing suit's are pretty modest compared to what you see on the women's rack. I definitely don't miss having to slather on a fortune of sensitive skin sunblock on my body. (I inherited my father's light skin that reddens in the sun, not my mother's dark skin.) Also, I love that the suit keeps me warm in cool water and doesn't get in the way of any water aerobics exercises or any kind of swimming I want to do.
TMI (Too much information!): The ladies reading this blog will probably read further into this and note that being covered up also means I don't have to go through the ritual torture of painfully being waxed into a pre-puberty state during bikini season. But thanks Carrie for sending me a coupon just in case I did want to GO THERE. NOT. This story is a whole other blog in itself.
When I was 21, recovering/suffering from body dysmorphic disorder, I wore as little as possible on land and in the water. I remember the embarrassment of sinking down into the bottom of the sand under the sea and coming up with my bikini top undone. Wardrobe malfunction! And I remember being both ashamed and sickly happy that strange men ogled me and made completely rude comments that both objectified me and "complimented" my body. At the time, I tried to deal with how much I hated my body (a perfect size 0) with showing as much of it as possible.
At nearly 31, married and a near perfect size 6, there's only one person in my life that gets to see the goods. And enough trips to the dermatologist have taught me that I need to be more careful in the sun that most people. So I don my Aqua Modesta swimsuit proudly and comfortably everywhere there's water nearby. Criticism be damned. My husband jokes that I can walk out of the pool and jump in the car without anyone knowing I'm wearing a swimsuit since it can easily pass as a dress and dries so quickly.
I also love that Regine Tessone, the Orthodox Jewess who designs these swimsuits, went to the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT). I almost went there, too, but at the last moment I decided to major in English at Fordham University instead of Illustration at FIT after years (I've been drawing since 3 years old) of thinking I would grow up to be an artist and...maybe write on the side. Most of my friends attended FIT and to this day, I am still pondering the road not traveled.
Depending on the crowd, non-Jewish or Jewish, my swimsuit has drawn curious questions, suggestions or praise. Just this week in my aqua aerobics class, when the pool was a bit too cool, many of the elderly--but way more buff and tough than me--women asked after my swimsuit and whether it kept me warm because their teeth were chattering in their one-piece suits in the too cool pool.
So, this is just a long-winded way (this is what happens when you're away from writing too much, you can't remember how to be concicse!), I love Aqua Modesta swimsuits and cover-ups. Whether for modesty, health or other personal reasons, these suits rock and last for years if you take care of them right. They definitely don't disappoint!
Please check out other styles of Aqua Modesta swimwear at: http://www.aquamodesta.net. You can enjoy FREE SHIPPING this month by entering coupon code: freeship at checkout.
Friday, April 1, 2011
The 12-year-old girl who discovered her murdered family in Itamar speaks out
Tamar Fogel speaks about the brutal Itamar murder of her family members, including both of her parents and siblings, and the state of Israel. I was shocked to see this young woman speak so coherently, so passionately, so intelligently about what will probably be one of the defining moments of her life. She is only 12, folks. Twelve. To say that she has had to grow up "too fast" is a vast understatement.
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