Why is there a dating website for Jews of color by Jews of color?

Why is there a dating website for Jews of color by Jews of color?

Isn't that "racist"?

My good friend Shais Rison aka blogger MaNishtana writes a rousing response to the flood of emails he's received asking this particular question about his recent decision to start JOCFlock, a dating website for Jews of color and by Jews of color open to any Jew open to dating interracially and across racial and ethnic lines.

Yes, anyone can join but those looking for an "exotic escapade" or "cultural curiosity" should probably use their frequent flyer miles to...visit a foreign country instead of treating a human being like a exotic fantasy pleasure cruise. When I spoke at Brooklyn College about the issues Jews of color face in the world of Jewish dating, I made a joke like the one below that got the point across pretty quickly and got many laughs.

"Okay, I don't know how it happened but somewhere along the way, for some reason, some Jewish white guys got the impression that dating me would be better and a lot cheaper than booking a plane ticket to the Santo Domingo and sipping some piña colada at the hotel swim bar.

Seriously, who knew...that dating me is like sinking your toes in a white sand beach and swimming into the warm Caribbean sea only without the danger of a sunburn. (Obviously, they haven't met my temper.) And oh, who cares if they had absolutely no intention of ever introducing me to their Ima because it would giveheraheartattack if her son came home with a BLACK GIRL?! Nevermind that I'm mixed, not black. Whatever, they're all the same!"

Please read: "Gotta Catch Em All!"

As you'll note, while I am posting sporadically, I am not "back." Sorry. Actually trying to commit to last new year's resolution to focus on my health even though it took some serious health problems to get me to do so just in time for this year's Rosh Hashanah. Thank you for your continuously wonderful fan letters and all your support.

Are you a Jewminicana?

There are Jubans (Jewish Cubans) and Jewyoricans (Jewish New York Puerto Ricans) and as we all know, there are Jewminicanos and Jewminicanas like moi.

But a fan tells me that there is a much cooler term than "Latino Jew" or "Hispanic Jew" coined and probably copyrighted by a clever Jewish New Yorker in the '60s at (where else?) Jewish summer camp!

SPANYID. :)

Have an easy and meaningful fast!

Yom Kippur from G-dcast.com

More Torah cartoons at www.g-dcast.com

My Big Fat Chinese Jewish Wedding, Jerusalem-Style

A Chinese Jewish Wedding In Jerusalem - Click here for more home videos

Wait, what, what does he mean he always wanted "one of those"? Oy vey. Mazel tov and...good luck!

Born Jewish and Black

Collier Meyerson was born Jewish but that hasn't stopped someone from questioning her Judaism at any and every Jewish event, pushing her further and further away from Judaism, especially when a Judaism that others insist doesn't and can't include people who like her.

"Last December my roommate decided to throw a Shabbos dinner. It was also the first night of Chanukah. I created a makeshift Menorah in our kitchen, since we did not have one. When I emerged from the kitchen with my creation, I stood in front of it like a proud mother. I quieted the small living room and began to recite the prayer. Most people, even the one or two that weren’t Jewish knew (at least) some of it, the beginning, “Barukh atah Adonai” being the loudest, but by the third verse, the one that you recite only on the Friday of Chanukah, all but three of the twenty people dropped out; me, my roommate and one young man.

After it was over I began to exit the room and was stopped by the same young man that had accompanied me in the last verse.

He insisted, “You’re not Jewish, are you?”

I replied calmly, coolly “Yes, yes I am.”

He replied “But you’re not like, Jewish, Jewish, right? I mean, you don’t look Jewish.”

I walked out of the room. But not without overhearing him whisper to his friend “I mean, c’mon, give me a break, she looks Indian or something, did Sara teach her that prayer do you think?” I left the house after that. It was the first time I’d cried since the day I left my Hebrew School Teacher’s house and written off any formal tie to Judaism. It was then that I realized I was unable to remove my imaginary cloak. The cloak, the performance of Judaism, turned out to be a projection of real desire to feel accepted. I realized I the liberal isolation I had grown up with was not a reflection of race in America and if I wanted to be Jewish I had to make a concerted effort to make people accept me as such.

For more read: "OFF AND RUNNING TOWARD MY OWN IDENTITY"

Here's hoping for a happy, sweet and healthy new year where more Jews of color walk into the Jewish conversation, not out of them.

Black Just Like Them

According to some people being Jewish now means that I'm no longer Hispanic (I've gotten this one from Jews and non-Jewish Latinos alike) and according to some people being Hispanic means I can never really be Jewish (I've gotten this one mostly from Jews).

Some people surveying my situation have noted that as a Jewminicana, I fit in nowhere because I make both the Jews and Dominicans--and even some of the Dominican Jews--of the world uncomfortable (not to mention everyone else).

After all, it is rare that I can walk away from a Spanish conversation with a non-Jewish Latino without being told that converting means I'll go to hell for giving up Jesus. They'll even add outright that I'm no longer Hispanic. Hispanics, like Israelis, seem to be known for their ability to cut right past the BS and be blunt and almost too forthright.

At least, MOST of the Jews I tell I've converted won't tell me to my face that they don't think I'm REALLY Jewish. Some have, of course. But hey, some Jews of color have even said I don't qualify as a Jew of color because I'm not black or brown enough. Well, check out my Los Angeles tan, people, because those brown-skinded roots underneath my olive-skinned veneer are officially showing.

But it is often when I presume that being a Jewminicana means I fit in everywhere or at least "somewhere in-between" that someone points out that my identity gives them a headache or can't exist in a reality outside my afro-covered head. Still, last time I check (hold on, let me pinch myself again), I exist. And I'm not even the only Jewminicana...or as my cousin lovingly noted when I pointed out I wasn't the only Dominican Jew: "I thought you were like a rare white panda! But there are MORE of you?!"

In MaNishtana's response to the media flurry (is that the right word or have I got weather on the brain as I try to cope with the fact that my snowboots will never see the light of day here in Los Angeles?) surround Yoseph Robinson's death, blogger MaNishtana catches us up on meeting with the NYPD as the King of NYC black Jews, being featured in the NY Times and what he has learned these past few weeks.

He writes:

"It's really amazing to me that I forgot for a second there that as much as I rant and blog about how some Jews need to get off their high racist horse and realize that we're Jews just like them, that I still need to remember to tell some Black folk to stop looking down their antisemitic noses and realize we're Black just like THEM, too."

PLEASE read more at his blog post: "Gangs of Jew York."

Would you like some bleach?

So a bunch of us women folk are sitting around discussing the drama that is female body hair. The summer never ends in Los Angeles so even on Labor Day, we're talking waxing, bleaching and laser removal. Fun times. Tomorrow, we'll move onto Jewish guilt and cooking for an army and still feeling we haven't cooked enough.

Once we're done discussing who has a mustache and who doesn't, who has the stray chin hair and who doesn't, one of the young daughters of the women folk leans in to ask me a question out of ear shot. She's been half-listening to our conversation about body hair removal.

"If you want, I can lend you some bleach for your skin," she says. I think she means chlorine bleach for my mustache and I tell her that you can't put that kinda stuff on your skin but she adds, "I have this special cream that bleaches skin."

I stare at her. She is a white Jewish child, albeit deeply tanned from the Los Angeles sun. G-d only knows where a ten-year-old would find bleaching cream so I ask, "Why do you have cream to bleach your skin?"

Undeterred, she mumbles something unintelligible and switches back to, "I will lend it to you. I can go get it and you can use it."

So I take a deep breath and try, "Why would I want to bleach my skin?"

She says, "Because you're getting really dark from the sun so you should bleach your skin."

I said, "No thanks, I like my skin just the way it is."

Sigh. What are we teaching our children, people? If a brown mustache isn't okay, then maybe brown skin isn't either?

Converts as Equals

"Jewish tradition is exceptionally clear: The vulnerability of converts mandates us to treat them as equals. If it is forbidden to remind a convert of his or her past, shouldn’t it be forbidden to make them (proverbially speaking) register for marriage on the back of the bus? The solution suggested by the chief rabbi puts the onus on the convert, as if he did something wrong, rather than on those marriage registrars who, in my mind, are blatantly violating principles of Halacha. If a marriage registrar took a bus on Shabbat, I can’t imagine it would take more than a few hours to have him replaced. But when he persecutes a convert, he is rewarded."

For more on why Rabbi Seth Farber is suing the Chief Rabbinate of Israel, read "My Petition Against the Chief Rabbinate" in The Jerusalem Post.

We're As Jewish As It Gets

Akira Ohiso with his son Simcha at the Jewish Multiracial Retreat 2009

Even out here in my new home in "La-la land" aka Los Angeles...where there is about as much Jewish diversity as you'd find in Israel with Jews of all kinds of color and from all over the world...I still can't get away from those impertinent queries about my maiden name (a new but just as annoying twist on "Are you a convert?") or the looooooong, endless stares and awkward questions from people who obviously think I "don't look Jewish."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I get it. You think I'm too tanned...to be Jewish. You think my nose is too small...to be Jewish. You think my hair is too big...to be Jewish. So how come in Israel no one ever questioned whether or not I was Jewish and I saw plenty of small-nosed, really tanned, Afro-rockin' Jews who also spoke Spanish? Get with the program, my people.

I'm getting kinda bored with having to explain myself, especially to an incredibly diverse Jewish community that seems to want to hold on, kicking and screaming to the outdated, always-been-erroneous idea that all Jews look like Woody Allen or whatever stereotype they've bought into about what a (Ashkenazi) Jew looks like.

Is the Jewish bling--the star of David--hanging around my neck not big enough? I once saw a girl in Harlem wearing a gold one with diamonds that sparkled to the point of blinding passerby and yeah, it was bigger than any other star of David I'd ever seen (outside of "Spamalot") but I don't think I could ever move my head again if that one was weighted around my neck. Plus, I don't think it'd make a difference since most of my Jew of color friends have been mistaken for the help even while wearing a tallit, kippah and requisite star of David bling.

Sometimes, I think all I've gotta start doing is carrying articles like this one below in my pocket (or at least a business card with my website on it) and maybe also, I should start handing out "My Uterus is None of Your Business" because apparently being a married Orthodox Jewish 30-year-old woman means people think they can can away with asking me about my ovaries every Shabbos.

And now, a must-read: "THE ENDLESS JEWISH AUDIENCE: A Japanese Jewish convert speaks" by Akira Ohiso who was also featured on the "Jews of Color" show that The Jewish Channel put together recently.

And no, sorry y'all, I'm not back to blogging, speaking, writing, Twittering or Facebooking though I am checking in whenever the situation demands it. If you haven't already, sign up to get my blog via email. Your fan mail (but not your hate mail) is as always very much appreciated!

Also check out: "Surviving" by Akira Ohiso