Black Friday Withdrawal

I've only ever been inside a store (Macy's) on Black Friday once and that was enough to terrify me for life. I won't set foot inside any store on Black Friday these days. I don't care what's on sale. I will pay extra just so I don't want to get trampled.

But this year, I discovered that some of my favorite stores (who am I kidding: store--Amazon.com) decided to get in on Black Friday by having 'lightning deals' and all manner of crazy limited time offer sales on much of their merchandise. And still, even after Black Friday was over, there was Cyber Monday. And so I thought, this is a bad time of year for shopaholics and my heart went out to them.

On Black Friday, I had all kinds of fantasies about all the things I WANTED to buy:

1. A blu-ray DVD player with instantly streaming Netflix

(...to replace my awful Samsung blu-ray DVD player which we got on super sale last year and now keeps telling me my Netflix account has been hacked and won't play instant Netflix films which is the sole reason we purchased this player since we don't have cable TV. And did I mention the bugger likes to skip out on sound at important parts of the movies? Don't buy this DVD player!)

2. A FlipMinoHD Camcorder

Because let's face it, my webcam is awful no matter how good (or bad) the content of my You Tube videos gets. Plus, this is my last year in New York, shouldn't I immortalize it forever? Not at those prices!

3. Battlestar Galactica DVD box set

Need I say more? My anniversary is coming up and I am wishing for this knowing that when my anniversary finally rolls around, my husband will probably say, "Want to get something at Barnes & Nobles?"

Last year, we went to a steak dinner we couldn't really afford so I had a salad and let my husband eat all the steak we could afford. My friends can't fathom not getting glittery jewelry on their anniversaries. I'd much rather have a glittery electronic device and in this economy, I think I'll make the steak, we'll pop in a DVD (or use our discount tickets for a movie) and then cap the night off by heading to the bookstore for our presents.

4. Gaiam Balance Ball chair

A friend got one and when I tried it out, my posture was muy perfecto. Alas, I will have to forgo this quick fix and actually show up for those Pilates and core strengthening classes at the gym. Pity me and my muy useless abs.

5. Roundtrip tickets to Santo Domingo

I haven't been to the Dominican Republic since 2007 which means I haven't seen my family there since 2007 or 2005, if I didn't catch them on that last trip. In the meantime, I'm trying to coerce all the Dominican relatives onto Facebook. It's not the same as hugging them under a palm tree while sipping a piña colada on a beach but we all have to make due in this economy.

Honestly, I don't have any idea how my mother on welfare could afford to schlep us to Santo Domingo every other summer. I don't have any idea how some of my relatives still manage to do this every year. There was obviously lacking in my Dominican education.

But anyway, here's what I actually got on Black Friday in case you're curious:

1. Three DVDs: Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace and The Dark Knight on Blu-ray for only $9.99 each!

I know that if I had a Walmart nearby I would feel ashamed for paying this much for a DVD. Or I would be ashamed about shopping at Walmart.

2. Thermal underwear from Essential Apparel

How else do you think I keep my legs warm while wearing skirts in the winter? It's certainly not those sad little boots from Payless Shoes. I went to the Upper West Side trolling for quality boots and found out that despite the recession, the price of some good leather boots has gone up. Plus, none of the salesmen there take me seriously. Apparently, I don't have that "I'm from the Upper West Side and plan on spending lots of money here" look about me.

My husband says instead of getting boots this year, maybe I could just stop going outside. He's joking. I think. But it would be a great deal cheaper than $150 boots. Let's not even discuss what happens when I wear bad shoes, remember that I am the girl who had to wear special shoes for most of her childhood thanks to genetically special feet.

3. A Roku player which instantly streams Netflix and Amazon Video on Demand

And when our forlorn little blu-ray DVD player finally dies, I've even figured out how to attach my little old 10-inch portable Zenith DVD player to our television! Snazzy? Or a fine example of why I need to write more articles if I ever want a new DVD player, much less a blu-ray DVD player.

4. A black robe

(...for my husband so he will stop stealing mine. And now we're all presentable for the UPS guy when he arrives with the next gift for my husband...)

5. A GPS device for my ("I'm from Los Angeles!") husband so he will stop getting lost in New York City.

The GPS device also comes with Bluetooth so that when I call him, I know the device is projecting our voices instead of him fiddling to get the speakerphone to work on his Blackberry in his lap as I yell: "Don't talk to me when you're driving! And you wonder why I had to get a life insurance policy?" I want this man to still around if I get to live to ninety eight (which my great-grandmother will be in April, G-d willing) even if he'll only be ninety six since he's a little youngster compared to me.

But alas, I confess, here's what I should have bought on Black Friday:

1. A roundtrip to the Columbia Presbyterian Dental clinic to get my TMJ, receding gums and aching wisdom teeth checked out. I am practicing class A avoidance. I actually love going to the dentist but I know that though the students at the clinic provide dental care at an incredible discount, it will still cost me two or three times as much as all five things I did buy on Black Friday that gave me immediate gratification despite not curing my periodontal gum disease.

Dear Mr. O, what are you doing about my dental health care reform? According to the letter I received yesterday, my "affordable" health insurance now costs $695 a month but it offers "no dental, no mental" health coverage. And that Los Angeles allergist still gets to bill me $600 for a summer of helping me breath while the other doctor charges me $600 for helping me...well, you don't want to know what.

How was your Black Friday and was it different than two years ago when the economy was a little less bleak? Was there something you did buy that made you feel guilty because you needed the money for something else?

Afro-Cuban Hebrew Musica

"Hava Nageela" and "Celia Cruz," two phrases I never imagined uttering TOGETHER. What exactly was this afro-Cuban "Queen of Salsa" doing singing in Hebrew? Who cares? If you're any kind of self-respecting Hispanic, you're just dying to hear the tune!!!

Scroll down to #8: Hava Nageela

If Celia Cruz could do it, maybe even I could learn the words, too!

Cool Jewish Events: Rabbi Chaim Drukman Speaking

Event: "The State of Conversions in Israel" with Rabbi Chaim Drukman

Date: Tuesday night, Dec. 1, 2009

Time: 7:30pm

Place: Hebrew Institute of Riverdale, 3700 Henry Hudson Parkway, Bronx, NY

The International Rabbinic Fellowship, Yeshivat Chovevei Torah and Hebrew Institute of Riverdale are honored to welcome RABBI CHAIM DRUKMAN to spreak at HIR.

Rabbi Chaim Drukman is the head of Bnei Akiva and past Director of the Israeli State Conversion Authority and a leading open voice on conversions in Israel.

Yes, THAT Chaim Drukman from all the articles I've linked in the past years about the problems of conversion in Israel! THAT Chaim Drukman whose conversions were revoked! At my synagogue!

I just want to sit in a room with this guy with my mouth gaping like a goldfish and hear what he has to say. I will hang on his every word. And afterwards, well, he probably doesn't give autographs? Rabbis aren't rock stars no matter how famous or infamous they are but I do tend to run with rabbis that feel like rock stars sometimes. Of these rabbi "rock stars" or more likely 'rebels' as I've heard them called...well, I know that as a Jewish newbie, I am completely unable to fathom their status in the community, much less how their status affects my own. I only imagine that their actions, specifically these rabbis who work on conversions, will affect my children, my grandchildren and even my great-great-grandchildren.

Maybe he'll give me his business card at least. Though I doubt that one evening will resolve the mystery of how in the world Rabbi Drukman become so famous (and infamous) in the conversion world.

MaNishtana Talks THE MIKVAH

"Black Jew is the new black" blogger MaNishtana, responds to my mikvah video with his own, a hysterical mix of mikvah 101, mostly G-rated line drawings, awkward moments, a shout-out to converts and so much more.

Reminder: Cool Jewish Events: Ethiopian Shabbat Dinner

Event: Ethiopian Shabbat Dinner!
Date: Fri, Dec 4, 2009
Time: 6pm to 9pm
Place: JCC Manhattan, New York, NY

Enjoy a memorable Shabbat experience! Join Riki Mulu and Chassida Shmella, a vibrant community founded by a new generation of Ethiopian-Israeli Jews in America, to celebrate the Sabbath with unique Ethiopian customs. Special guest will be Dr. Ephraim Isaac, director of the Institute of Semitic Studies in Princeton, NJ. Families are welcome. Space is limited; pre-registration required. Co-sponsored with Chassida Shmella and with Bechol Lashon.

Cool Jewish Events: Fiesta Hanukkah!

With Thanksgiving over, it's time to think Hanukkah!

Event: Fiesta Hanukkah!

Date: Sunday, December 6, 2009

Time: 11am

Place: Skirball Cultural Center, Los Angeles, CA

Celebrate Hanukkah with a Latin flair! This year, as part of the Skirball's ongoing initiative to commemorate Jewish life in Latin America, the annual Hanukkah family festival invites families of all backgrounds to enjoy Latin Jewish music, art-making, and storytelling, as well as tasty variations on holiday food favorites.

All ages; children must be accompanied by an adult at all times.

Redux: Please don't...with explanatory links!!!

Thank you for being my friend. Here are some guidelines so that our friendship can be a pleasurable experience for all of us.

Please don’t make fun of gay people.

Please don’t make fun of black people’s hair.

Please don’t tell ask me why I don’t straighten my hair.

Please don’t make fun of Mexican people or how Hispanics pronounce English words.

Please don’t start conversations about how Obama is a socialist and then add that you think he’s a Muslim terrorist and that he was born in a different country.

Please don’t make comments about how my former public school students might have had HIV or AIDS.

Please don’t make comments about how “those black people” are always “pulling the race card” and that Al Sharpton is their “crazy leader.”

Please don’t repeatedly refer to me as “sexy Latina” instead of my name.

Please don't ask me why Hispanic women "dress like that."

Please don't tell me why you think someone else's conversion wasn't kosher.

Please don’t stick your hand in my hair.

Please don't tell me when I point these things out too you that I'm "too sensitive."

If you don’t understand why any of these statements or actions are inappropriate, please don’t ever speak to me again. It’s safer that way. For both of us.

The Baby Mama Drama of the Torah

Blogger Esther Kustanowitz does a fine job narrating the precursor for many telenovelas to come: the baby mamy drama in the house of Jacob.

Parshat Vayetze from G-dcast.com

More Torah cartoons at www.g-dcast.com

Thanksgiving is over, it's time for Hanukkah!

Maybe at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade when Santa comes out, he should stand next to a menorah? You know, I want representation. He can hold some plantains, too. What? What? I can dream!

In the meantime, my Twitter pal Jean Roth wrote some Hanukkah limericks using me as the inspiration:

Ms. Jewminicana lady said
"It's the annual latkes I dread."The point is the oil
Which potatoes just spoil
I'll be frying my plantains instead!"

And when she found out that indeed, I did like latkes, she re-wrote it!

Ms. Jewminicana lady said"Something new for the Hanukkah spread!"
Since oil is what mattersWho cares what makes spatters?
I'll be frying my plantains instead!"

Now did you know that you can make plantain latkes? Yeah, check it out. Thank you, Bureka Boy! Who gives you the goodies?

And if you like latkes as much as I do, you'll probably want to enter the "Free Latkes Tee Give-Away" over at Rotem Gear. Jean is giving away three t-shirt shirts to three clever folks who sign up for her mailing list and then post their own little Hanukkah limmerick. Deadline is December 3rd, 2009 so get cracking on it!

"Going home!"

Sniffle.... Chinese Jews from Kaifeng arrive in Israel 2009 - a moving documentary.... Sniffle.

Yeah, I cried. Hold on, I'm still tearing up.

I've listed many of the articles on this particular group in previous "conversion news roundups" but the articles did nothing to capture the sense of awe you get that this group of Chinese Jews feels at finally arriving in Israel.

Welcome home!

For more information on the organization that helped them get to Israel, check out: Shavei Israel

And a happy Thanksgiving to all!

Afro Retrospective

This T-Mobile Store is Kosher

Earlier today I ordered a new phone I can't afford, a Samsung Gravity, in case you're curious, to replace my Crackberry (the Blackberry Curve) that has a gaping hole in it and keeps dropping calls like crazy.

Sending it to the insurance company would mean paying a $130 deductible and they would only send me the same kind of phone and I'm done with Crackberry. I mean, what does a girl who spends every waking moment about 5 steps from the computer need with a Crackberry? Okay, if I need to Twitter from the shower or the toilet...yeah, too much. Where was I?

So I ordered the phone online and it said it would ship UPS but I got ansty anyway and when I found myself downtown hours later (near 107th St. and Broadway) I decided to see if I could cancel the order and get the T-Mobile store to give me one right then and there.

The sign in the window says the store is closed as of an hour ago but a gorgeous Indian lady leaving the store tells me it's open as I get to the door. I walk in and am quickly helped by an extremely nice Indian guy who has a bit of an accent and is wearing a baseball cap. He looks up my order on the computer and everything.

"Why didn't you just get it in a store originally?" he asks.

"Oh, there's no T-mobile store where I live in Riverdale," I explain sheepishly.

"Riverdale? This guy lives in Riverdale" and he points over the counter to the Indian guy wearing an AT&T shirt in the chair in front of him.

I consider playing Riverdale geography but instead, I gawk at the guy and ponder asking him why he's wearing an AT&T shirt in a T-Mobile store. No, I decide so I just shake my head.

And then the first guy starts flirting with me.

"So, I could open a store for you in Riverdale," the first Indian guy says. "Just for you. For you I would open a store! Just for you!" And he's very insistent so I think he means it.

I turn red as I whisper I'm married. I'm afraid he'll say, "Lady, I wasn't going there" but he says, "That's okay, I need the business! It's good business!"

"Well, the last cell phone place in the area closed so I wouldn't do it," I tell him. "Plus the other cell phone place is just busted and rundown and I don't think they do too well either."

He nods along as I speak but he doesn't respond and he goes back to clicking on the computer. I look down at my sneakers and then I think What am I still doing in this store? and so I tell him that I'm happy he was so helpful and I'm "gonna go now."

"No, thank you!" He reaches out his hand over the counter to shake mine.

I start to say "Sorry, I don't shake hands..." and he makes THE FACE "with men...." I finish. Now, he looks curious.

"Why not?" he asks.

"I'm an Orthodox Jew."

I wait for him to say, "Funny, you don't look Jewish" but it never comes.

Instead, he yells "Mazel tov" with the most excitement I've ever seen outside of a yeshiva.

"Um, thanks," I say after I finish laughing.

"L'Chaim!" he yells, really getting worked up now.

I grin. "You know, usually, people start with 'Shalom!'"

And at this point, because everyone else in the store (about 4 or 5 Indian guys and 2 white guys) is listening in, the whole store bursts into a big chorus "SHALOM!"

"SHALOM!"

"SHALOM!"

"SHALOM!" And then, finally, we're all Shalom-ed out.

"I could throw a bottle up against the wall for you if you like," he offers as he throws an imaginary bottle in the direction of the nearest wall.

I laugh again and explain that this custom is usually done with wine glasses at weddings.

"Oh." He looks dumbfounded for a second. And then, the lightbulb goes on. "Well, I'm sure someone here is getting married soon." He looks around for a likely suspect.

"Ah yes, maybe, but are they Jewish?" I ask with a mock serious face. And at this point we both look around at the other customers.

A bald, middle-aged guy who looks like Larry David raises his hand. "I'm Jewish." The whole store turns to stare at him for a moment.

"Well," I say. "then I guess you can go ahead with throwing the bottle against the wall."

Seriously, does this kind of stuff happen to other people?

Writing that first Jewish Dominican children's book!

Added to my ever growing "to do" list is writing a "multicultural" children's book. Of course, first I'd actually have to start reading children's book. I figure they're a bit like poetry where every word is important and the less words you use to get your point across, the better.

I'm already stockpiling books for my imaginary children. So far, my library consists of three books---two Jewish and one not.

Not Jewish

My Peanut Butter Big Brother by Selina Alko

A yummy tale told from the perspective of a "peanut butter big brother" who is trying to imagine what his new little sibling will look like after his "strawberries and cream" mother and "chocolate bar" father merge. It's very silly but endearing and it also made me hungry for sweets.

Jewish

I Love Jewish Faces by Debra B. Darvick

I sent this off to my favorite seven-year-old and she loved it because she could read it all by herself. The multicultural bent to this soft-cover book is mostly in the photographs that show a wide array of ethnically and racially diverse Jews--lovely! I'm expecting some extra copies of this from the author and as soon as I get them, I'll be holding a contest!

Jalapeño Bagels by Natasha Wing

I finally got my hands on a copy of this book from the library. I love you, New York Public Library! Besos! Besos! The story follows a half-Mexican (on his mother's side), half-Ashkenazi (on his father's side) boy as he tries to figure out what tasty treat to bring to school from his parent's bakery for a foodie show and tell-type homework assignment. He decides on jalapeno bagels--the perfect blend of his mother and his father's cultures.

Hmm, what do Jewminicans eat on Passover? (Plantains, yucca and kugel!) What do Jewminicans eat on Shabbos? (Plantains and gefilte fish!) Why do I think my book's going to be centered around food?

Any ideas for other children's books I should add to my list?

What I learned in Israel...

Reminiscing briefly about my time in Israel during the conversion process....

Whoa, really?!

Here's a nice little piece on Rabbi Capers Funnye over at the Jewschool blog that found its way into my inbox via Google Alerts.

From "Rabbi Funnye’s Message of Inclusivity" (Jewschool):

"So what was the point of these stories? Throughout the talk, Funnye repeated his message of the need for inclusion, acceptance, and a better understanding of how a diverse Jewish population can learn from each other. He gave examples of how African-American Jews can help build bridges between synagogues and churches and mosques. He spoke to the importance of welcoming all Jewish souls and hearts to Judaism, and the reasons why we need to have more welcoming, while still halakhic, conversion processes.

And he spoke to the Jewish establishment needing to see and serve the full range of colours that Jews come in. (As an example of the shortcomings of Jewish institutions, Funnye talked about his small rabbinical school in Queens, NY that serves the African-American Jewish community. It was started when an African-American Jew, who had two degrees from Yeshiva University, was denied entry to their rabbinical school because of his skin colour)."

Check out:

Igbo Jews
Beta Israel

On celebrating life's special moments...

I went to an Orthodox Jewish wedding and what did I find in the midst of all that sushi and all that brisket? TOSTONES! TOSTONES! TOSTONES! I overdosed on them and smiled like the Cheshire cat.

Going Kosher

Last week's "Question of the Week" was: "Why is My Family Insulted by My Kosher Diet?"

Going kosher can be such a touchy subject with relatives that someone, Azriela Jaffe, wrote a whole book about it: What Do You Mean, You Can't Eat in My Home?: A Guide to How Newly Observant Jews and Their Less Observant Relatives Can Still Get Along"!

In "Walking the Tightrope", Angela Goldstein writes about her struggles to become more observant:

Let's be honest, it is a very rare case that a woman falls asleep with a Big Mac in her hand and wakes up with a kosher kitchen. The entire transformation is a process that happens over time. For some it can be a few months and for others it takes years. However, one thing that we all share is that "in between" phase. That time when we know in our heart of hearts that we shouldn't eat the non-kosher steak but it is just so unbelievably tempting!

It only took me about six months to go completely kosher (I'm a little extreme). I still remember the day I realized that while I'd been trying to eat kosher sandwiches, I'd actually been eaten meat on dairy bread. Ouch! And I still fantasize about octopus (not kosher). Lucky for me, I got to eat Big Mac and even a Whopper at the kosher McDonald's and kosher Burger King in Israel and because I was too scared to get on any buses, I walked off the fat fairly quickly.

Check out: "Kosher for the Clueless but Curious" by Shimon Apisdorf

Werewolves, Vampires, Teenagers...oh my!

I miss Friday night movie openings. I really do. Right now, I want to be gearing up to watch "New Moon" but alas, I have to wait until Saturday evening (at least Shabbat ends early this time of year) to beg my husband to go with me. (Yeah, I also miss when I went to movies all by myself!)

Of course, my sister refuses to wait and she's going opening night without us! Maybe I should bribe her with challah to wait? At the very least, I have to make her wait before telling me what she thought about it! (Update: She came back and she won't stop talking about Taylor Lautner. I am so jealous.)

No, my addiction to all this science fiction/fantasy and horror truly knows no bounds. I'll read anything...as long as it's not a philosophy book. You know who you are! I can't believe you got me that for my birthday! Grrr!

I am Taino...I think.

Dominicans like Puerto Ricans (of which I am 1/16? not so good at math) have a tripartite identity: Spanish, African and...Taino but most people think the Tainos died off (er, raped, ravaged and killed by the Spaniards), not these people.

Check out: "Not Everyone Who Speaks Spanish is from Spain: Taíno Survival in the 21st Century Dominican Republic"

British think Judaism is Racist?

Sorry, I'm a little late on getting to put together this roundup of the latest news articles on this case. This little video from Aish reminded me that my inbox was overflowing....



"We don't understand being a Jew! How can we? We're not Jews!"

The British response to all this nonsense about Judaism being racist.

"The Anglo-Jewish School Case, Revisited" (Interfaith Family)

"'Who is a Jew?'" (National Post) U.K. case sparks holy debate

"A religious motive will not excuse discrimination on racial grounds," said the court. "It appears to us clear (a) that Jews constitute a racial group defined principally by ethnic origin and additionally by conversion, and (b) that to discriminate against a person on the ground that he or someone else either is or is not Jewish is therefore to discriminate against him on racial grounds. The motive for discrimination, whether benign or malign, theological or supremacist, makes it no less and no more unlawful."

"Who Is a Jew? Court Ruling in Britain Raises Question" (NY Times)

Incredible to me, really, that the NY Times just realized any of this was going on!

“The requirement that if a pupil is to qualify for admission his mother must be Jewish, whether by descent or conversion, is a test of ethnicity which contravenes the Race Relations Act,” the court said. It added that while it was fair that Jewish schools should give preference to Jewish children, the admissions criteria must depend not on family ties, but “on faith, however defined.”

"Board fights 'racism' label in JFS hearing" (The Jewish Chronicle of London)

"No Holds Barred: The British determine who is a Jew?!"

Shmuley Boteach weighs in:

"The Jews are first and foremost a people and only secondarily a faith. We were the children of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob before we received the Torah at Mount Sinai and began practicing Judaism's tenets. Peoplehood comes first, and is completely independent of any kind of religious affirmation. Jewishness is not something that can be lost, and not something that can be renounced.

Being a people does not make us a homogeneous ethic group. There are black Jews and white Jews, European Jews and Asian Jews. Converts of every ethnicity can of course join us at any time. But in so doing they are not adopting a faith but a people. They do not become merely practitioners of the Jewish faith but part of the Jewish family. A convert is transformed from an outsider into a Jewish brother or sister. But the process must of course have standards. To be a British citizen is not an arbitrary act. It takes approximately 10 years of residency. Likewise, my Australian wife's naturalization as an American citizen took many years of residency, and she had to pass a test of American knowledge."

"We Jews cannot have it both ways" (Jerusalem Post)

""M" is the child of an halachicly Jewish father and a mother who had undergone a non-Orthodox conversion. The father applied for his son to be admitted to the Jews' Free School (JFS), an extremely prestigious and heavily oversubscribed taxpayer-aided "faith" school in north London. The United Synagogue's chief rabbi, Lord Sacks, refused the application on the ground that he - Jonathan Sacks - did not regard the mother as Jewish.

The Court of Appeal ruled that, in so doing, he and the school breached the 1976 Race Relations Act, the protection of which Jews enjoy by virtue of having long ago been categorized as an ethnic group entitled to its protection. Quite simply, in refusing "M" a place at the school, Sacks (said the Court of Appeal) relied on an investigation of "M's" parental descent, rather than on a judgment of his - or his parents' - religious practice. "M" was, therefore, the victim of ethnic (and not religious) prejudice.

The 1976 Race Relations Act has been of immense benefit to Britain's Jewish communities, enabling British Jews to bring successful actions against, for example, employers who refuse for whatever reason to employ persons of Jewish identity. But we Jews cannot have it both ways. We cannot say that we will invoke the act when it suits us, but when it doesn't, demand the right to ignore it and to be shielded from the penalties it invokes."

"British Jewry’s Self-Inflicted Wound" (The Forward)

"For the most part, the Jewish community quietly acquiesced in the United Synagogue’s admissions practices until 2005, when two women who had Orthodox conversions in Israel tried to get their 11-year-old children accepted into London’s Jewish Free School. As Orthodox converts, the women should have easily met the chief rabbi’s criteria. But while the chief rabbi is celebrated as a leading Modern Orthodox thinker, his beit din, or rabbinic court, insists on imposing Haredi halachic standards on a British Jewish community whose practice and belief is largely traditional, rather than strictly Orthodox.

The chief rabbi, apparently under pressure from his beit din, refused to certify either woman as Jewish. There were “procedural irregularities” in the conversion of Helen Sagal, he said; and Helen Lightman — herself a teacher at JFS — could not have been a “sincere” convert, because her husband, whom she married under Orthodox auspices in New York soon after her conversion, was a kohen. (According to Halacha, kohanim are not allowed to marry converts, although such a marriage is valid if a fait accompli.)

Communal leaders were taken aback by the court’s interference in an internal Jewish row. It was particularly jarring in that the court’s ruling seemed to imply that the traditional definition of Jewish identity is racist. Indeed, Rabbi Tony Bayfield, head of Britain’s Movement for Reform Judaism, said that even though his movement deplored JFS’s admissions procedures, he was behind the United Synagogue in this matter “100%.”"

Most of these articles fail to mention that it was not just a non-Orthodox family suing, it was also the family of an Orthodox convert whose conversion was not accepted by the Chief Rabbi of Britain which makes the issue not just non-Orthodox vs. Orthodox but very much so about conversion.

Oh, man!

My useless Palestinian alarm clock? Yeah, that's disturbing.

Hat tip: The Jewish Chronicle of London

Playing Parsha Catch-up

Parshat Toldot from G-dcast.com

More Torah cartoons at www.g-dcast.com

African-American/Puerto-Rican convert and Modern Orthodox rapper, Y-Love (Yitz Jordan)



From selfish babies to thirsty camels, this narrator, Australian author Goldie Goldbloom is quite a treat.

Parshat Chayei Sarah from G-dcast.com

More Torah cartoons at www.g-dcast.com

Evan Wolkstein tells us about the world according to Hagar.

Parshat Vayeira from G-dcast.com

More Torah cartoons at www.g-dcast.com

Tyra Talks...Family Purity?!

No, joke, Mrs. Faya Lipskier of Chabad West 60s Manhattan appears on the Tyra Banks Show to speak about the Laws of Family Purity! Just click on the "photo" on that link if you have a PC. If you're on a Mac, you're out of luck.

Okay, when I tell people even vaguely about the laws of family purity, they usually make the "Are you crazy?" face or make the usual "Gosh, there are so many rules in your religion!" remark. I clearly must not be doing it right. I was impressed by the incredible detail Mrs. Faya Lipskier used and Tyra's great response.

Want to read more about mikvah stuff, check out Mikvah.org.

I know you're just trying to help BUT...

This is a standard email I send to people who have suggestions for things I should try for my chronic pain:

Hi, my name is Aliza. I have fibromyalgia.

I know that people don't know what it is usually. I know most people can't pronounce it or spell it. If you're lucky, you've probably seen a silly advertisement in a magazine or on TV for a medication that is being used to help people COPE (not cure, there is no cure) fibromyalgia. And that's about as much as most people know about fibromyalgia if they've heard of it at all. Even my close friends and family who see me on a daily basis have a hard time understanding how fibromyalgia affects my life.

I think it's pretty safe to say that unless someone asks you for advice on their health problems, you shouldn't assume they want it. After all, you wouldn't go up to an obese person and give them pamphlets on weight loss. In the same vein, I would ask that you please not email me every single time you read something about fibromyalgia or you see an advertisement for a medication for fibromyalgia. If I tell you I'm in pain, I'm not asking you for suggestions on how to fix it. It's rather like a weather report: Aliza's pain is at 100 degrees rather than 50 degrees today.

Think about it for a second. What are the chances that you've heard of something that I, or the National Fibromyalgia Association which sends me information quite often, haven't heard of? What are the chances that you've uncovered something that I've never uncovered before? Mostly, what are the chances that you know something that I don't about fibromyalgia? Also, what are the chances you know something my doctor doesn't already?

Please understand, I receive emails sometimes daily from well-meaning, well-intentioned people who have "suggestions" for things I should try with my fibromyalgia. (Everything from speaking software to tea, yoga, and other remedies.) I know they're just trying to help but they don't. At best, you've caught me on a bad pain day and added yet another annoyance to my life. At worst, your suggestion is the tenth I've received that week because everyone saw the same advertisement you did. It gets tiresome and at times, condescending.

If you want to help me cope with my fibromyalgia, ask me how you can help me. And here's what I would tell you.... If you'd really like to help, make a donation to the National Fibromyalgia Association so that knowledgeable people can help find ways to help those of us who suffer with fibromyalgia cope with it in our daily lives.

Thank you.

Cool Jewish Events: Being Indian, Being Israeli

Event: Being Indian, Being Israeli: A conversation with Dr. Maina Singh and Sally Oren

Date: Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Time: 8:00 PM – 9:00 PM

Place: Butler Board Room, Center for Israel Studies, American University, Washington, DC

Mrs. Sally Oren, wife of Israeli Ambassador to the United States Michael Oren and an immigrant herself, will discuss with Dr. Maina Singh themes of Zionist immigrant experience raised in Dr. Singh's new book, Being Indian, Being Israeli: Migration, Ethnicity and Gender in the Jewish Homeland, based on ethnographic research and over 150 interviews among Indian Jewish communities in Israel.

Dr. Singh is Clendenen Scholar-in-residence at American University.

A dessert reception will follow, with books available for purchase

Check out: "Subject to bias, India's Jews make a go of living in Israel Scholar presents 'Being Indian, Being Israeli'"

P.S. Can someone keep me posted for when the book goes on sale?

Speaking (Dominican) American!

I went through an embarrassing phase as a teenager where I didn’t want to be Dominican. We didn’t visit the Dominican Republic that much in my teens (not that that would have helped since once there, I was told I was American and not really Dominican).

I was still reeling from a childhood spent being called white girl because I “looked white” and “talked white.” By the time my mother realized my Spanish language skills were all but disappearing, she ordered me to speak Spanish and she refused to talk to me otherwise. So, I stopped talking to her. I was American and I was “going to speak American!” (It wasn't until college that anyone would tell me that being able to speak two languages could help me land some pretty good jobs.)

Part of it was what I learned about what it meant to be Dominican. A joke in my high school was that Dominicans were “dumb-in-a-can.” For some reason, I thought the kids hanging around in hoodies and baggie pants on the street corners of Washington Heights were “more Dominican” than me. At least, that’s what they’d told me and somewhere around the way, I believed them. If they said, Dominicans listened to Puff Daddy and I was listening to Nirvana then I wasn’t “really Dominican.”

It wasn’t until college in a class entitled “Hispanic Women” that I really embraced being Dominican. Being Dominican wasn’t about how good my Spanish was or how good my English was, it wasn’t even about whether or not I could make rice and beans. I was Dominican-American whether I liked it or not and when I started reading books by Julia Alvarez ("How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents"), I realized I liked it.

I joke though that I didn’t realize how Dominican I was until I decided to become Jewish. Part of this truly has been thanks to my husband who has been dubbed an honorary Dominican. When we lived in Washington Heights, my husband forayed out of the shops selling kosher stuff to discover all the Dominican food he could get his hands on at the local bodegas: he’d substitute potatoes for yucca and plantains in his cholent. He got his hair done (“best haircuts ever”) at the Dominican barber shops.

When I wanted to go to the Dominican Republic after we got married, he was excited! When I told him I wanted our kids (still imaginary) to be fluent in Spanish, he signed up for a Spanish class. Now if only he hadn't told my grandmother about the Dominican curses I taught him. If my husband could be proud of being an honorary Dominican, how could I not be proud of being a true Dominicana?

But if being proud of your parents’ culture isn’t so easy when you’re an American-born child, being proud of your native culture isn’t any easier when you’re adopted. “A study says that more than half of the first generation of children adopted from South Korea struggled with their ethnic identity, and it recommends changes in adoption policy.” Read: “Adopted from Korea and in Search of Identity”

Anti-Immigration=Anti-America

My grandmothers were immigrants to this country. They brought my parents here as children. Funny enough, my parents were from the same city in the Dominican Republic but they didn’t meet until they were in high school together in Washington Heights.

I didn’t get to spend too much time with my father’s mother but my mother’s mother has always been a hard worker. She came here not knowing the language but very quickly, she put herself to work doing whatever she could: everything from factory work to hair dressing to working with the elderly. She’s gone through so many moves and career changes, it’s really quite incredible and kind of terrifying to someone on the outside looking in. I don't think I'll ever be that flexible.

No, my grandmother’s English isn’t great but despite this, she managed to raise children who were fluent in the language, who went to top colleges and landed great careers. Save for my mother whose career options I believe were seriously hampered by having to drop out of college to take care of me and from dealing with a lifetime of chronic mental illness, all of my grandmother’s children, whether they were born here or not, are true-blue Americans.

There’s something I find really disturbing about the stuff I read people are writing about "illegal aliens." No, my family came here legally but I can sympathize with why people are willing to risk everything--life, limb, security--to come to America. But too often while I’m reading about illegal immigration, I find that the conversation turns too quickly into anti-immigrant rhetoric that doesn't distinguish between those who come here legally and those who don’t.

People seem most disturbingly obsessed with taking away birthright citizenship and I can’t see how if that happened, it would be too far a jump to take away the rights of legal immigrants like my parents who were legal residents when they had children here who became first-generation Americans at birth. Like me. Does anyone remember that the founding fathers were immigrants themselves? Was that just over emphasized in my education?

People just want to stop "those Mexicans” from stealing their jobs! (Usually, those jobs they don't want!) They want “those Mexicans” to stop procreating more than whites! And if you think it’s just white Republicans who are angry about “those Mexicans,” apparently you’re wrong. Working class blacks fear that “those Mexicans” are stealing their jobs, too. Hate crimes against Hispanics have escalated since Obama became president because of these stories people tell themselves when the economy downward spirals and the demographics of the country begin to change.

A friend sent me a very controversial documentary by a man who seems to be nothing more than white nationalist—the kinder, gentler word for white supremacist. He thought the video would teach me something about racism. Well, it didn't teach me anything I didn't already know. It just made me sad and angry that someone I call a friend would send me something like that. Instead, I ended up on the website of a black professor who had given the film a good review. On her website, I found this:

“Moreover, immigrant-supporters do themselves and their country a disfavor when they fail to consider all aspects of the problem and the national obligations to historically disadvantaged groups such as Native Americans and African Americans, and poor whites who struggle to get ahead in sometimes adverse circumstances. Further disservice emerges when groups are encouraged to cling to group identities, old-world languages, and cultural practices condemned by "civilized" society. A better tactic would include encouraging immigrants to become fully American by learning the language and the history of the host nation where most will be embraced with open arms."

Professor Carol Mswain

It’s people like this that are the reason that America really isn’t a melting pot. We don’t love multiculturalism no matter how much we pretend to celebrate it. We don't want people to blend. What we really want is everyone to be like everyone else: guns, hotdogs, hamburgers, blue jeans and Jesus! America is hell-bent on making sure everyone assimilates to American culture at the expense of their native cultures.

Forget being bilingual or even multilingual as many folks in European countries are. In elementary school, they told our parents that speaking to us in anything but English would make us dumb and by college, they were telling us that being bilingual would get us better jobs. Huh?

Sure, it’s okay for white people to teach their white children Chinese but for Spanish people to continue speaking Spanish? No way. When you hear even children of Israeli immigrants talking about how “those Mexicans” need to learn English, I worry. Sometimes, I forget that many whites and blacks don’t remember immigrating here (or in some cases being forced here) so they can’t fathom the nuances of the immigrant experience. Sometimes I forget that other things, like racism and religion, cut between people who should otherwise hang together because of almost glaring commonalities.

I remember vividly when a couple of Hispanics got together a couple of years back and did a lovely rendition in Spanish of the national anthem. The Jews at the Shabbos table that week were pretty freaked out about it. “They're trying to take over! Those people need to learn English! This is America! We speak English in America!" Obviously their English was good enough that they could translate the song into Spanish. So, I asked them, these American Jews, how they would feel if people forced them to stop speaking Hebrew, to stop being Jewish because it takes away from them being fully American. How would that feel?

Well, folks, we know how that turned out for some people. When American Jews came here, they didn’t have the “choice” of not working on Saturdays. There wasn't a kosher restaurant at every corner. Many forced themselves to cut all ties to Eastern European culture in an effort to assimilate into American culture and that is just one of the many reasons why we have so many Jews who know more about Christianity than Judaism. Arguable American Jews are in a good place now but at what cost when so many have forgotten where they came from?

As for pitting poor immigrants (they’re not just from Mexico, they’re white, black and other) against poor whites, poor blacks and even in this quote, poor Native Americans, I think it’s just sad. So sad. And I can’t help thinking that someone out there believes that if they turn us all against each other then we’ll just kill each other and they’ll be done with us.

Read: "Becoming Americans: Four Centuries of Immigrant Writing" by Mexican-American Jewish editor Ilan Stavans

Also check out: "ARE YOU AN AUTHENTIC AMERICAN?"

"Police officers giving drivers $204 tickets for not speaking English? It sounds like a rejected Monty Python sketch. Except the grim reality is that it has happened at least 39 times in Dallas since January 2007….All but one of the drivers were Hispanic."

Cool Jewish Events: Ernest H. Adams Speaking

Event: Ernest H. Adams Speaking on "From Ghetto to Ghetto"
Date: Tuesday, November 17th
Time: 7:00 pm
Place: Memphis Jewish Community Center, 6560 Poplar Avenue, Memphis, TN 38138, 901-761-0810

Please come and experience Dr. Ernest H. Adams’ original voice and fresh perspective. "From Ghetto to Ghetto: An African American Journey to Judaism", is a memoir by Ernest H. Adams that provides unique insight into our country’s African American, white and Jewish communities. With the keen insight of a trained psychologist, Adams brings to light the strengths, vigor and confines of those communities. The book is a hard hitting, no holds barred story of determination, brotherhood and America’s struggle with race.

Being Jewish & Asian isn't a joke...duh!

When I made a comment about how cool it is that "Glee" might have a Jewish Asian character (aptly named Tina Cohen-Chang), everyone in the room [all white Jews] made a face like someone had passed gas. Funny until that comment, they were smiling or at least calm while I described how "Glee" put on an extremely funny Jewish episode.

Response from Facebook fan:

My daughter is Jewish and Asian, and as you can imagine, people will often look at her as if she's made a joke when she tells them.

From Safe to Unsafe and Back Again

Sometimes I think I must be going crazy. Never before in my life have I stumbled across so many well-meaning (and not well-meaning) white people (usually Orthodox Jews) who consider themselves "not racist" but make all manner of racist comments in front of me.

Growing up, I heard racist comments from my family members but I was taught at school, thankfully, that those comments were W-R-O-N-G. No, my Mexican friends did not "sleep with their brothers and sisters" as my mother had explained. No, my other friends' parents did not ask their children what color their friends were.

Despite what my mother told me, my black friends were not "lazy, ghetto criminals"--especially not Kim who taught me to cartwheel but who was not allowed to come inside my house. I ignored whatever my mother said and I made friends with the black, Asian, Dominican, Mexican, Greek and Arab children who went to my public elementary school. When family members and friends called me "white girl" for a variety of reasons, I shrugged it off as "their craziness."

In high school, I was also sheltered. I went to an "anything goes" art high school and my friends were people of every color. We befriended each other and dated interracially without problems. Sure there were those gang members who would fight each other, sometimes just because of racial differences alone, but the rest of us thought they were nuts and made it a point to avoid them. Sure, a (Greek) friend said: "You know, you would be white if it wasn't for that hair" but that didn't sting as much as the Dominican guy, who in the midst of asking me out, likened "that hair" to pubes.

College was...shocking. Immediately, I was ostracized by the Hispanic kids who had bonded together in a summer program for freshman who needed extra help to be ready for college. I was excluded from the program because my SAT verbal score was too high. The Hispanic kids, even the ones who became my friends, frequently asked me if my father was white because my English was so good (and my Spanish was so bad) and my skin was so "well, white."

An older, white female professor accused me of plagiarizing a film paper on my favorite movie because it was "too well-written" and she shared her hypothesis with my other professors. A white middle-aged editor on the school newspaper said that my sentence structure was bad because English was not my first language. (I told her English WAS my first language, which I had learned along with Spanish simultaneously from college-educated parents and family members!). When I asked a white scholarship donor (I had a full scholarship) for help finding a job after college because I had recently kidnapped my sister, he told the university that I had tried to "hustle" him for money.

But like in high school, other than some other traumatizing experiences I haven't listed here, in college, I was surrounded by friends of every color--black, Asian, white/Jewish from middle-class to working class and impoverished immigrant backgrounds, who never made racist comments around me. Things were usually okay as long as we didn't talk about affirmative action (with the Jewish friends) or my hair (with the Asian and black friends).

But now that everyday racism has become a part of my life as a Jew, as part of an interracial couple, I am trying to read as much as I can from people who know much more about dealing with the subject. Sometimes, I am simply looking for affirmation--thank G-d, there are other people who deal with this! Sometimes, I am looking for ways on how to cope--I've made friends and joined many support groups with other Jews of color and white Jewish allies.

And every now and again, I'm trying to figure out what my place is. I have so many questions. How can I educate my friends, my family members, my acquaintances, and myself when I'm still so horrified, so shocked and raw, from the awful things I hear them say? How can I educate myself when I worry that the constant racism and insensitivity about racism I experience from white Orthodox Jews (and once or twice from other Jews of color) is making me racist and wary of my ability to maintain friendships in the community?

How can I raise my future mixed race children in this community and set them up to face these same obstacles or more--unchecked hostility in day schools or in the shidduch dating process against converts AND people of color? How can I raise them in a community I don't always feel safe in? How can I raise them among friends who express that they think I am a "credit to my race" or that believe I became Jewish to get away from the terrible values of Hispanic and black culture?

How can I get my readers to understand that I am not being attacked by crazy strangers or even blatantly racist people but from friends, family members and acquaintances who believe they are, indeed, "not racist"?

A friend of mine who is an African-American convert recently gave a talk to white Jews about Jews of color. At the end of the speech, one of the white Jews in the audience asked, "What's a Jew of color?" He realized then that he started at the wrong place. Perhaps, the talks my husband and I give on racism also start at the wrong place. We begin by pointing out stereotypes instead of defining racism and thereby erroneously assuming that everyone in the room has the same definition of racism.

From Chapter One: “Rethinking Racism” in "Silent Racism: How Well-Meaning White People Perpetuate the Racial Divide" by Barbara Trepganier, a self-described well-meaning white woman, antiracist activist and sociologist. Her audience for this book is other well-meaning white people.

Silent racism—the racist thoughts, images and assumptions in the minds of white people, including those that by most accounts are “not racist”—is dangerous precisely because it is perceived as harmless.

Definitions of racism:

White Americans and people of color in this country different significantly in their definitions of racism (Blauner 1994). Most whites think in terms of the oppositional categories “racist” and “not racist.” Whites in the “racist” category are defined as disliking or hating blacks and other minorities, and their animosity is portrayed in acts or statements that are blatanly racist (Jaynes and Williams 1989). The white definition of racism is problematic because it does not recognize racism unless it is blatant and/or intended; neither does it acknowledge institutional racism.

Furthermore, the view overlooks subtle forms of racism that have emerged since the civil rights movement and that are color blind; that is, forms of racism expressed in nonracial terms that are not obviously race-identified. The white definition of racism also ignores acts of everyday racism: routine actions that often are not recognized by the actor as racist but that uphold the racial status quo (Essed 1991).

For example, black women report that whites often seem surprised to find that a black person has a college degree or is a professional. This form of everyday racism—marginalization—is based in the white assumption that blacks are not educated or successful. Ignoring racism that is not hateful and intentional effectively hides the fact that white people daily perform acts of everday racism.

Two assumptions underpin the view that white people are either “racist” or “not racist.” First, most whites assume that racism is hateful; and second, most whites believe that racism is a rare occurrence. These assumptions--that racism is hateful and rare—deny that racism today is often unintended and routine.

In contrast to the white definition of racism, data shows that blacks and other people of color see racism as permeating the institutions of society, producing racial inequality in employment, education, housing and justice (Blauner 1994; Bonilla-Silva 2003; Feagin 2001).

Rethinking racism entails rethinking the language we used to talk and to think about racism. Changing the oppositional categories “racist” and “not racist” to a continuum ranging from “more racist” to “less racist” would more accurately depict racism because it would encompass blatant racism (Essed 1991) that is concealed in the “not racist” category.

The oppositional categories in our language today hide subtle acts of racism, especially from the actors performing them, primarily because the “not racist” category implies that no harm is done. At times, everyday racism is not hateful, and it is often not intentional. And yet, everyday racism contributes to the production of institutional racism, which produces negative effects for minorities.

An important function of the racism continuum would be to portray white people as racist in varying degrees, eliminating the false notion in the minds of most white people that they are not at all racist. The change to a continuum would lessen the importance of whether people intend to be racist and focus instead on the racist effects of their actions.

More Racist Moderately Racist Less Racist

<------------------------------------------------------------------------------>

Race Hatred Colorblind Racism Silent Racism

About her study for her book, "Silent Racism: How Well-Meaning White People Perpetuate the Racial Divide", Barbara Trepagnier says in Glamour Magazine (October 2008).

"It's not talked about; we're scared to death of racial controversy. In my study, I found that whether you are racist is about how aware you are of the concerns that people of other races have. So we need to stop wondering, 'Am I racist? Oh, G-d, no, I couldn't be’ and ask how aware we are."

Questions? Get the book!

Please don't...

Thank you for being my friend. Here are some guidelines so that our friendship can be a pleasurable experience for all of us.

Please don’t make fun of gay people.

Please don’t make fun of black people’s hair.

Please don’t tell ask me why I don’t straighten my hair.

Please don’t make fun of Mexican people or how Hispanics pronounce English words.

Please don’t start conversations about how Obama is a socialist and then add that you think he’s a Muslim terrorist and that he was born in a different country.

Please don’t make comments about how my former public school students might have had HIV.

Please don’t make comments about how “those black people” are always “pulling the race card” and that Al Sharpton is their “crazy leader.”

Please don’t repeatedly refer to me as “sexy Latina” instead of my name.

Please don't ask me why Hispanic women "dress like that."

Please don't tell me why you think someone else's conversion wasn't kosher.

Please don’t stick your hand in my hair.

Please don't tell me when I point these things out too you that I'm "too sensitive."

If you don’t understand why any of these statements or actions are inappropriate, please don’t ever speak to me again. It’s safer that way. For both of us.

Racism with a Punch

In The NY Post story, "Prof busted in Columbia gal 'punch'", a black Columbia professor punches out a white female university employee while discussing white privilege.

Punching people doesn't teach them anything about racism. It just makes you look racist. And violent. Duh. Unfortunately, the comments section on the story devolved into a bunch of racist diatribes about black men. You know because when one minority does something it reflects on everyone...sigh.

The only time I've ever actually wanted to punch someone white over racism was in college after enduring hours of nasty comments about Hispanics (I was referred to only as "Yo Quiero Taco Bell") during one infamous evening in Brooklyn with "friends" of a supposed "friend."

I didn't punch anyone. It probably would have been labeled a hate crime because the people harassing me were Russian Jews. Maybe that area of Brooklyn was just rough. In the same neighborhood, an Italian former boyfriend was attacked by a group of white teenagers for being seen on a date in the area with an Asian young woman.

In other news, The New York Post is currently being sued by a Latina former editor, Sandra Guzman, after, she claims, she was fired for labeling as racist a cartoon that critics said likened President Barack Obama to a dead chimpanzee. Her other accusations include racism and pretty gross on-the-job sexism.

Cool Jewish Events: Nishmat at Sotheby's

Nishmat at Sotheby's

Join American Friends of Nishmat for a brunch and private viewing of the upcoming Sotheby's sales of Judaica & Israeli Art, with a tour conducted by Sharon Liberman Mintz, Senior Consultant for Sotheby's.

Date: Sunday, November 22, 2009

Time: 10:30am-Noon

Place: Sotheby's New York, 1334 York Avenue at 72nd Street, New York, NY

Um, can I borrow $180? Please?

Habla Español?

The Chicago Tribune story "Korean-Americans learn Spanish to help out at work" profiles Korean-American employers learning Spanish to be able to communicate with their Hispanic employees. That's kinda awesome. I mean, I know people who won't learn Spanish and are Hispanic. I've heard of Jews in Washington Heights tutoring Hispanics in English but maybe we can get the Jews in Washington Heights to learn Spanish. Rock on!

Of course, you know, my motives are purely selfish. Perhaps if the Jews in Washington Heights learn to speak "Dominican," they'll start becoming curious about Dominican food and finally, a Dominican kosher restaurant will be born!

Just when you thought it was safe to talk to your friends about...

random manishtana fact no 78: i worked in a comic book and videogame store for eight years. and im a proud dc boy. superman. bats. flash. justice league. yknow. see, i never got the marvel universe.

actually, more to the point, i never got the deal with how the marvel universe reacted to mutants. everyone hated them. black, white, asian, gay, straight, everyone. that just didnt seem very realistic to me. was the marvel universe a world that never experienced slavery? jim crow?the holocaust? the japanese interment camps? that was the only way it made sense to me for everyone to be on board that mutants were all horrible and evil–if they themselves had never endured the same tyrannical oppression.

then, this past week i had a conversation with a co-worker of mine, an older jamaican woman. [i mention this b/c she's 1-old enough to have lived through the civil rights era, 2-she's jamaican, and therefore doubly well aware of how negative/derogatory stereotypes are slapped onto groups]. we got around to discussing the shooting at fort hood, at which point she bursts out that we should just round up all them muslim and send them back to where they came from b/c they keep killing ppl and she’s tired of it. and–get this–she even directly references the japanese interment camps as a positive example for precedent!

Read on over at MaNishtana: To Me, My Idiots!

Are Orthodox Jewish women rebelling?

I went to an Orthodox Jewish wedding in Los Angeles and a woman read the ketubah. Whoa. She did it better than I'd seen any other rabbi do it before (and I've been to a lot of Jewish weddings). But some people couldn't handle it. Rabbi Yosef Kanefsky published an illuminating piece about those "some people" that everyone needs to read: "When Will the Slander End?"

Here's an excerpt:

"Put forward by numerous rabbinic writers in a variety of contexts, it declares that whenever Orthodox women perform ritual practices that are traditionally associated with men, their motivation is invariably subversive. Women who read a ketuba (or who recite Kiddush or HaMotzi at the Shabbat table, or who take a lulav, or who wear a tallit when they daven) are invariably engaged in an act of religious disobedience, cynically utilizing religious practice as a means of expressing their rebellion against perceived unfairness or injustice in Orthodox life. Thus, not only do their acts lack religious value, they actually constitute sin."

Frum or feminist? You can be both according to JOFA: The Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance that gave me the heads up on this lovely piece by Rabbi Kanefsky. I spent most of last Shabbat reading their amazing quarterly newsletter which featured everything from articles on head covering to Jewish women's dress throughout the ages and across continents.

Is Orthodox Judaism sexist? Allison Josephs over at Jew in the City decided to answer that question with a video starring Mayim Bialik in response to the question: "Is Orthodox Judaism Sexist?”





Last summer, I attended a fascinating Shabbos “Nosh & Drosh” lecture given by Rabbi Yosef Kanesfsky, spiritual leader of Bnai David Judea, where he discussed the role of women in his community. Before I get into this any further, I want to say that I have thoroughly enjoyed all of the Shabbat learning experiences provided by his synagogue. I became a “Nosh & Drosh” groupie after Rabbi Kanesfsky’s presentation on how coffee can (or can't) be prepared on Shabbat.

Rabbi Kanefsky stressed the importance of tradition in a riveting, detailed lecture on the halakha surrounding rituals women in his community take part in, from heaving the Torah scroll through the women’s section to participating in women’s prayer groups.

Understand that I am one of those women who has no interest in dancing with a Torah scroll (I’d drop it and die of embarrassment) or singing along in a women’s prayer group (my mangled Hebrew warbles should be between me and G-d alone).

I am quietly feminist (though I was raised to believe that men and women are not equal, because women are better than men). I came from a Catholic upbringing where priests and nuns have very different proscribed roles as clergy members. I once wanted to be a nun and an altar girl but you know, things change so instead, I became Jewish.

And now that I'm Jewish when I have a strange question, especially one that relates to underwear, I'd much rather go to a Maharat or a Yoetzet Halacha then the local bearded guy any day!

Check out:

"Orthodoxy Women Clergy?" (Jewish Press) and "Is Men-Only Rabbinate Ethical?" (Jewish Week-NY)

"Maha-right" (Morethodoxy Blog)

Morethodoxy blog post gives a Los Angeles response to Sara Hurwitz’s controversial ordination as MaHaRaT by Rabbi Avi Weiss.

"Orthodox Women & Religious Leadership" (MyJewishLearning.com)

My Jewish Learning looks at how "though the Orthodox rabbinate remains all-male, some Orthodox women have assumed para-rabbinic roles."

Baby Names

I've already picked out my baby names.

No, the babies haven't actually been conceived yet, it's something my sisters and I have been doing since we were little kids. We used to go through our baby names book and pick out names for our imaginary children. There was even a period where my dolls were all given Biblical names (Benjamin, Jeremiah) and later, during my Greek myths phase, where I named them all after Greek gods and goddesses. I had a Russian phase, too.

Because my husband's Ashkenazi (Eastern-European), the kind of Jews who name children after their dead relatives (that really sounded weird when I heard about this in college), I combed through his family tree looking for names. (Sephardic Jews, I've been told, name their children after relatives who are alive, which is why one extended family I met all had the same names.)

After shaking the family tree, I came up pretty short on baby girl names...especially since for me, it's important that the names can be pronounced by my Spanish-only relatives, some of which already have trouble with my husband's Hebrew name and use his English name instead.

I remember being jealous Chinese friends had an English name and a Chinese name but my husband has always found it annoying that his birth certificate says one name but he goes by another. I read somewhere recently that some Asians have complained that their birth certificates and driver's licenses can get kind of crowded with all those names.

(And anyone who remembers that Freddie Prinze Jr. is half-Puerto Rican with Hungarian Jewish ancestry to boot, and married to Jewess Sarah Michelle Gellar and beyond excited about his new Jewtina daughter, Charlotte Grace Prinze and her "plain" name, will laugh along with his remark in People Magazine that us Latinos are well-versed in giving their children too many names--for the record, I am thoroughly displeased that I only have one last name, unlike my cousins in the Dominican Republic.)

Anyway, so the story goes...what kept Jews from losing their identities in Egypt was their names, their language and their distinctive dress. Lucky for me, some Jewish names are actually commonly used Dominican names--I've met more than one Dominican male named Israel and when my Dad met my husband and introduced us to my half-sister, he boasted that her name, Eliana, is a Jewish name.

Also check out:

Jewschool making fun African American names (Check out my comments and those of others who noted that poking fun at African Americans, "Oh, aren't their names funny? Teehee, teehee" is racist. I wonder how they would feel about me mocking Jewish names?)

Jezebel on why "Latin & Hispanic Names: 'Doomed' (Oh no! Perhaps I should name my first born-hasn't-yet-been-conceived son Jose after all!)

"Hotel owner tells Hispanic workers to change names" (Yeah, also racist!)

"Bizarre Name Ban Mulled by Dominican Republic"

And also, my piece on the history behind my name (and many name changes): Every name has a story

I should note that I made fun of the name Britney the other day and that's when I realized that starting a conversation with "What kind of name is...?" generally only leads to racism or otherwise insensitive comments. In college, my husband's new roommate asked him, "What kind of name is...(insert Hebrew name here)?" And my husband replied, "Well, what kind of name is...(insert Japanese name here)?"

We should all respect each other's names and the cultural pride they represent but it's not always easy. This one time, I tutored a Filipina girl whose name was Maricon, a derogatory word for homosexuals in Spanish. It was a rough tutoring section. I thought that was bad until a public school teacher commented she had once taught a student named "Vagina."