Welcome to Insomnia

It's the middle of the night, 2am when I'm writing this blog though you'll see it posted around 12am on a different day. I ended up making a list of stupid questions people ask me now that I'm a Jewminicana.

I'm thinking "Are you Jewish?" and the rest of the countless, mind-numbing, repetitious, interrogations, Q and A, could show people what it's like living life as a little Jewess, a little Dominicana made in USA. 

Did I tell you about the time my dentist told me that I was going to make on "hot Latina" rabbi's wife? Dangerously inappropriate from my overly friendly nice Jewish doctor.

Literanista would like to share her words of wisdom "On Being Latina."

I am not your fetish.

My name is not Maria, “Oye, Mira,” Mamacita, or Bonita Applebum.

I am not your Malinche.

I will not do the Macarena for you.

Nor do I know how to make Pasteles from scratch.

When you meet me please refrain from telling me about your love for tacos. (I get this one a lot.)

To read the rest check out Literanista: A Place for Multi-Cultural Dialogue on Latinos, Books, Technology & More.

Michael Jackson, The Victim

How did Michael Jackson go from being a proud black man to, well, becoming a "white lady"? Whether it’s you or your kids who are wondering, the Anti-Racist Parent blog has a piece called “Explaining Michael Jackson.”

In “Michael Jackson was a genius and his genius was black”, Nesha Z. Haniff compares how Michael was portrayed in the media to how Brittany Spears and Madonna were treated. “Yes race is central to this, in the way the white media show their racism for making excuses for white celebrities and criminalize Black celebrities.”

Both pieces are as incredibly thoughtful as they are thought-provoking. Was Michael a victim of his childhood, of his fame and fortune, of the vicious media, of a society where even the most famous (black) entertainer in the world couldn’t feel comfortable in his own skin?

In the meantime, where will Michael's two Jewish kids with Debbe Rowe end up? Read more in "Jackson kids' Jewish mother could regain custody".

The softer side of Judaism

Whether or not, you love it or hate it, The Jerusalem Post claims Judaism is getting in touch with its feminine side. You've heard my spiel before in previous posts about whether or not I would call myself a feminist, much less a Jewish feminist. And here is a redux.

In short, I grew up in a sea of strong women who could never and never did depend on men. For these women, there was no women's movement. There was just reality. And in this reality, there wasn't anyone who was going to convince me men were in any way more capable than women. In fact, I didn't think very much of men (good for lifting heavy things, otherwise lesser beings) and that view only changed recently when I surrounded myself with positive male role models. 

I have been asked several times if I "hate women" because how can I be Orthodox and not? I don't respond to questions that are not really questions but rather statements, judgments. 

Quite obviously, I have found some way to reconcile being a woman and being Orthodox. Or perhaps, I haven't but I'm doing it anyway. I don't think I have anything remarkable to say that could illuminate what seems to outsiders an incredible, enormous incongruity. My friend recently said I am a paradox. Honestly, I'm not trying to be. I'm just trying to be, well, me. And just trying to be me can be really exhausting.

It goes without saying that as a Modern Orthodox Jew today, I have grown up in a Jewish world that is very different from the one I expected. The roles of women in Orthodoxy are not exactly what they once were. So I didn't expect so many bat mitzvahs, women's prayer groups or a school for future Maharat. But I have been the beneficiary of all these things. And my thoughts on all this might seem fairly uncomplicated to you.  

I'll never have a bat mitzvah (oh, alright, I'll think about it). And I appreciate women's prayer groups from a certain distance because I know I am in no danger of being found warbling in Hebrew in front of a crowded room, even when it's only women...and thankfully, nobody's going to make me. And despite recent jokes from friends, I will not be going to school to become a Maharat. I can't even remember what Maharat stands for. 

I am a very young Jew and my concerns are that of a very young Jew. I wonder if I'll ever be get a handle on Biblical Hebrew, I wonder if I'll ever get a handle on reading the weekly parsha critically, I wonder I'll ever be able to stand AND hold a book in my hands during davening (prayer). In a word, I've got other problems and I'm wrapped up in them like nobody's business. I might never be able to unwrap myself from them enough to worry about whether or not I will ever get to read from a Torah scroll at shul. At shul, I won't even touch or stand near the Torah scroll for fear I'll somehow trip over my two left feet and do some serious damage.

Incidentally, I should note that I grew up Catholic with priests and nuns with very clearly defined, separate roles. I never questioned the status quo. Maybe if I had it had chafed or if I had grown up Protestant with female ministers, I would have. I can still remember the day that I saw my first "altar girl." Whoa, heady. I had never seen a girl up there in front of church helping out in the ceremony. I was curious, a little taken aback, awed. But that still didn't make me want to go up there. 

And you couldn't convince me to judge her for wanting to up there. We were both trying to do what made us feel right, what we could live with, what was right for us.

I am very grateful, rather sheepishly so, that there is a Maharat in my community. Because there are some things, you only want to share with another woman. In fact, there are many things you only want to share with a woman. And thankfully, I haven't had to air my dirty laundry (ahem) with paunchy old men. 

Don't marry non-Jews or converts!

Rabbi who? what? where? and why?

A soundbite from "Mixed-married couples and interfaith couples are a fact of Diaspora Jewish life":

"That a Jew chooses to marry someone who is not Jewish, even if a conversion takes place, is a clear indication that the Jew already has one foot out the Jewish door."

Yeah, that's about when I wanted to start brawling.

As a convert, sure I know that behind my back people think and say certain things about marrying converts. I remember reading an article where a Jewish mother-in-law said of her newly converted Jewish daughter-in-law, "I still wish my son had married a Jew. But that wasn't meant to be." Excuse me, did your daughter-in-law convert? Yeah. So she's Jewish. It's really that simple...though not so simple to the simple-minded clearly.

Interfaith marriage: a marriage between people of two different faiths.

Mixed marriage: According to David Forman, who wrote the awful quote above, "A mixed-marriage is one in which the non-Jewish partner converts to Judaism." This bit stirred quite an uproar in the comments section for this article where people noted a marriage between a born Jew and a converted Jew is a Jewish marriage, there's nothing mixed about it.

In fact, Daniel Forman doesn't seem to think there's any difference between a mixed marriage and an interfaith marriage and for the record, he's opposed to both. He doesn't want converts marrying Jews and he certainly doesn't want non-Jews marrying Jews for after all, he writes:

"Are we to believe that acknowledging the non-Jewish ancestry of either the converted Jew or the non-Jew will have no impact on the child of such a marriage?"

Is he afraid that if I feed my kids plaintains and take them to the Dominican Republic, they won't want to be Jewish? Maybe. 

Forman is afraid if Mami tells little Menachem that she celebrated Christmas but didn't like it as much as Chanukkah, Menachem will want to go to church instead of synagogue. But don't worry Forman came up with a four step plan in case your children marry non-Jews...or converts, eh, what's the difference? Isn't that nice of him?

This article made me wish I was in anger management classes. Mostly, I wanted to print this article put it on a wall and then take a Nerf bat to it. Do they still make Nerf bats? The amazing gall of how this guy treats converts. Oh and get this, he's a rabbi who is apparently all for human rights but not rights for converts. I mean, it's not like we're human...or according to him, even Jewish.

And that's just what the world needs more rabbis treating converts like that stuff that gets stuck to your shoe on a New York City subway platform. Sorry, did I get that sarcasm on your shoe too?

Conversion News Roundup: Keeping you informed or scared out of your mind?

Rabbi Avraham Sherman, one of Jewcy's "Haredi's Most Wanted: The 5 Worst Offenders", has the magical power to turn non-Jews into Jews and back to non-Jews to Jews to non-Jews. Oy, I'm confused, are you? 

"No one will be willing to go through the trouble of converting if there is a real fear that, sometime down the road, the conversion will simply be annulled." (Not true, there are plenty of masochists...er, lovers of Judaism.) "Amar Moves to bar rabbinic judge from conversion cases" (Jerusalem Post, 6/25/09) proving that the conversion squabble is not really about converts but about rabbis. 

"Until now a conversion certificate from the State of Israel was an unassailable certification of one’s Jewishness. Now the chief rabbi has intimated that no convert can feel secure in his or her Jewishness." (Gulp.) "Chief Rabbi vs Chief Rabbi on Conversions" (Jewish Week, 6/24/09)

"Modern Orthodox rabbis have organized to violate the law to help converts who are unable to marry because they are not recognized by haredi chief rabbis of cities." (At least, someone's on our side.) 

"These haredi rabbis, following in the footsteps of leading haredi halachic authorities such as Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, have declared that anything less than a full acceptance of Orthodox strictures at the time of conversion followed by concrete proof of adherence to an Orthodox lifestyle after the conversion renders the conversion invalid." (But of course, the other front is not giving up the fight.) "Zionist rabbis break law for converts" (Jerusalem Post, 6/25/2009)

"Sherman stated explicitly that a conversion has no validity unless the convert proves he or she has embraced an Orthodox lifestyle. Anything less is unacceptable. According to the decision, the Jewishness of converts can in theory be revoked at any time, no matter how long ago the conversion took place and no matter which Rabbinical Conversion Court performed the conversion." (Raise your hand if you're scared of Rabbi Sherman.) "Rabbinate demands haredi control of conversion" (Jerusalem Post, 6/23/09)

"This time Rabbi Sherman declared a conversion granted by the Rabbinate to a woman null and void, questioned her Jewishness, ordered her to divorce her husband immediately and stated that as of now her children are to be branded "unfit to marry" other Jews." (Raise your hand if you're worried this guy has too much power.) "Rabbi Sherman annuls another conversion" (Ynet, 6/23/09)

"During the divorce proceedings doubts were raised as to whether the woman was actually Jewish, as she had converted before her marriage." (HUH?) "Rabbinic Court proves subservience to ultra-Orthodox" (Haaretz, 6/24/09)'

In other news, are the Catholics still trying to convert us Jews? Well, in my case, they're trying to convert me back. Worry.

And perhaps, the NY Times doesn't hate Jews (To which some of my friends would say, no not Jews, only Israel.)

And did you hear about the Jews of the Amazon rainforest? "Adopting Forebears’ Faith and Leaving Peru for Israel" (6/21/09) If you should develop Crypto Jewish fever as a result, check out these oldie but goodies articles from the JTA: 

"The anusim revolution starts here" (5/28/09)

"Marranos (don't they mean conversos?) helping Israeli PR effort" (5/26/09)

"The Secret Jews of the Southwest" (5/19/09)

"So you think you're a Crypto Jew?"

(5/18/09)

Jewish Diversity, where it's at...

When I think of Jewish culture in unusual places, I think of Chabad and how they've managed to canvas the whole world to make Jews connect to Judaism. Apparently, when Rachel Mauro thinks of Jewish culture in unusual places, she also thinks of me! Check out my honorable mention in "Smithsonian Folklife Festival: Jewish Culture in Unusual Places".

Also, check out that link at the bottom to Hip Hop Hoodies, a Puerto Rican and Columbian Jewish rap group. To listen to one of their tunes, click here for "Times Square."

A little "Justice for All"...

When I wasn’t fighting about my Jewish friends over whether Benjamin Cardozo was the first Hispanic Supreme Court justice(he wasn’t), I was fighting with them about whether or not Sonia Sotomayor was qualified to be a Supreme Court judge (she is). They assured me that because she’d only been picked because she was a Latina woman, she wasn’t qualified.

I wonder if she had just been a woman, if they would have been so quick to call her nomination some type of affirmative action. I find that because of affirmative action, people frequently assume that anyone of color in a position of power is there because of affirmative action. Did President Obama get his job because of affirmative action? I haven’t seen any news on that.

In “Diverse Opinions,” a piece in The New Yorker by Jeffrey Tobin, he writes:

"Presidents care about diversity, which is a relatively new term for an idea that is nearly as old as the Court itself. In the early days of the republic, when regional disputes were the foremost conflict of the era, nominees were generally defined by their home turfs. So Presidents came to honor an informal tradition of preserving a New England seat, a Virginia seat, a Pennsylvania seat, and a New York seat on the Court. 

In the nineteenth century, as a torrent of European immigrants transformed American society, religious differences took on a new significance, and Presidents used Supreme Court appointments to recognize the new arrivals’ growing power. 

In 1836, Andrew Jackson made Roger B. Taney the first occupant of what became known as the Catholic seat on the Court, and that tradition carried forward intermittently for more than a century, with Edward White, Joseph McKenna, Pierce Butler, Frank Murphy, and William J. Brennan, Jr., occupying the chair. 

In 1916, Woodrow Wilson nominated Louis D. Brandeis, establishing the Jewish seat, which later went, with brief overlapping periods, to Benjamin N. Cardozo, Felix Frankfurter, and Abe Fortas." His article further explores this idea without ever once mentioning "affirmative action."

I may not agree with everything Sonia Sotomayor has done or said but I do think that she is an awesome role model for Latinos, for women, for everyone. Maybe if she'd been a Supreme Court judge when I was still in school, I would have aimed higher. I certainly didn't imagine that a Puerto Rican girl from the projects or the ghetto could go to Princeton or Harvard Law School. (I also didn't imagine that my family was a little bit Puerto Rican, too, as my grandmother recently confessed.)

Latina magazine recently featured the Sotomayor t-shirt pictured above on their website. The T-shirt was designed by KC Tees. I just won one in a KC Tees giveaway on Facebook. I am very excited to wear it. 

The Man in the Mirror No Longer

Sitting around listening to Michael Jackson music and pondering what the two of us had in common as survivors of child abuse. Did Michael overcome his past? Is that even possible? Though there is no doubt Michael was a world famous star, he died, undoubtably, as a tragic figure.

Blacks and Jews: Tension or Comedy?

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Blacks and Jews
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Blacks and Jews, everyone knows that this relationship has been fraught with tension in America. Things were really "tight" between the two groups during the Civil Rights movement but then things, kind of, went awry. 

Jon Stewart and Larry Wilmore want to fix things. Check out their hilarious attempts at solving the tension between the two groups on The Daily Show. Many thanks to the Huffington Post for putting this clip on their site, "Jon Stewart And Larry Wilmore Squash The Beef Between Blacks And Jews (VIDEO)".

On a more serious note, you can read my interview with African-American Jewish convert Ernest H. Adams on his book, "From Ghetto to Ghetto" and what he had to say about the relationship between African Americans and Jews in America. 

Tablet magazine recently featured an article called "Shades of Gray" about a musical duo that opens new chapter in the history of black-Jewish collaboration. 

Commenting on my blog

You might have noticed that when you comment on my blog posts, it does not go into moderation. This is because, for the most part unless something is truly vile, I have let people share their thoughts, disagreeable or otherwise, on my blog. I read each and every comment though I do not, cannot, respond to every single one.

Recently, there has been a rash of hateful comments. Comments bashing different movements in Judaism and different kinds of Jews, comments bashing Yeshivat Chovevei Torah (which my husband attends) and comments bashing Rabbi Avi Weiss (whose synagogue I attend in Riverdale). And while I understand how hard it is for some to believe, I do not represent either YCT or Rabbi Avi Weiss and his synagogue so I will not let my blog become a forum for attacks on either.

Also, I do not represent all of Judaism, Modern Orthodox, Orthodox or not. Mostly, I represent ME. That said, I will not let my forum become a place to attack Judaism or Jews, Modern Orthodox or not. 

Before commenting on my posts, I would think wisely. Too many people hid behind “Anonymous” when they comment with words that are truly disgraceful to Judaism, Jews and well, the human race.

If your comments are so divisive and disgusting that you don’t even want people to know your name, then maybe it’s not something you want to post on my blog.

In the future, I will still allow you to comment as you wish but be forewarned that I won’t stand for nonsense. I didn't put up with it in my classroom and I certainly won't put it with it now. Go ahead and comment, but if you start to embarrass yourself, I won't hesitate to delete. 

Father's Day Without Dad

When I called T-Mobile on Monday to let them know that my Blackberry was on life support, the nice guy on the other end of the line asked me what I had done for Father’s Day. I responded that I do not celebrate Father’s Day.

I don’t. I don’t call my father on Father’s Day to let him know what a great job I think he did…leaving my mother, abandoning his children, never calling on their birthdays, never supporting any of us financially or more importantly, emotionally. I’ll never forget that when I asked my father why he hadn’t been a part of my life, he said he thought I’d do fine. He said, “I never had a father and I turned out okay.” Pause to chew this one over.

In “Father’s Day Without a Father,” Amy Sue Nathan writes about what Father’s Day is like for her children after the death of their father. I was surprised to hear her mention a little girl “who didn’t know her father because, well, she just didn’t.”

Growing up in Washington Heights, I knew a lot of these little girls. As Nathan writes powerfully, these little girls did not have “toppling stack of photo albums to leaf through. She has no funny stories, or old clothes stored away. She has no burnt chicken memories.” They also made me feel lucky because no matter how intangible and vague my memories of my father are, I had something, a cheap sliver compared to some, to hold onto. But every time someone wishes me a “Happy Father’s Day,” my heart aches.

Thankfully, the ache gets a little better as I get older and more positive male role models come into my life.

Teaching RACE and Unlearning Racism

Sadly, America is far from post-racial. 

The latest string of violence against Jewish sites, including the attack on the Holocaust museum and the Riverdale terrorist plot, is just plain scary.

And the many attacks, less publicized, on Latinos after Obama's inaugration, attacks that targeted "immigrants" only further this sad reality. 

America still has a way to go before we can start patting ourselves on the back and say that in this country, people are no longer targeted because of their race or religious beliefs. 

Now, check out this email I received from the American Anthropological  Association.

Project Exploring Race in America proves to be a Catalyst for Change

May 6, 2009- According to a recent New York Times/CBS News Poll, two-thirds of Americans grade race relations in the United States as “generally good” – a marked increase over the last several months that many attribute to the election of President Obama. More proof of this change is evident in the success of RACE, a public education program of the American Anthropological Association.

The project consists of a traveling museum exhibit, an interactive website (www.understandingRACE.org), and downloadable educational materials. RACE Teacher’s Guides are in use across the country and new curricular materials are being developed with input from experts and various school systems.

Teaching Race and Unlearning Racism

The goal of the project is to definitively explain the history and contemporary relevance, and create an ongoing national dialogue, about race. When asked how it can help to address racial inequalities, Yolanda Moses, Co-Chair of the RACE Advisory Board, responded:

Education and dialogue are essential steps for solving any problem, and we as a nation still have a lot to learn and discuss about race. Contrary to common belief, the idea of human races is only a few hundred years old; a powerful relic of the American colonial past. Everyone should know this because it implies that disparities in health, wealth or educational achievement simply do not reflect innate or natural differences. Instead, they result from barriers that we as a society have created for some, and not others, based on physical and cultural differences that often say little about a person.

RACE provides a framework for understanding and appreciating our differences. The election of President Obama suggests we’re making progress toward racial equality. It signals that ideas about race, including racism, are learned, and therefore can be unlearned. RACE takes us further down that road.

The traveling exhibit just wrapped up in Cincinnati. The next stop will be the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. The tour, which launched in 2007, was set to conclude at the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History in 2011. Due to overwhelmingly positive response, a replica and smaller version of the exhibit are being produced. Beginning in 2010, they will join the tour, which has been extended until 2014.

To learn about RACE and unlearn racism, please visit www.understandingRACE.org.

For a complete listing of the original tour dates near you, please visit: http://www.understandingrace.com/about/tour.htm

The Continuing Plight of Converts

I love Israel and yet, I have absolutely no desire to make aliyah, to immigrate there. Maybe that’s because I know that as a convert, my conversion would become suspect immediately if I showed any desire to move to Israel.

Because when born Jews decide to move to Israel, they’re reconnecting with the faith by being Jews in the most Jewish place on Earth. When converts decide to move to Israel, we are obviously trying to play the Law of Return, pretending to be Jewish to escape third world countries (like America) for a better place (that is constantly at war and under consistent threat of terrorism).

When people tell me that Israeli authorities have to be suspicious of the type of converts who plan to wheedle their way into Israel through the Law of Return, they never seem to be able to distinguish that the laws and regulations enacted to prevent a couple of disingenuous characters actually hurts true blue converts, like me. In fact, these people also excuse the countless news about the mistreatment of converts in Israel and elsewhere. They stress that Israel, that Judaism, must be kept safe from these "horrible people" who want to be Jewish, even when those "horrible people" really love Judaism, by plaguing them and ensuring that these "horrible people" find Judaism as unwelcoming as possible.

I haven’t had children but I’m already worrying about whether or not they’ll be able to attend yeshivas in Israel, much less whether or not they’ll be allowed to settle there. So, tell me again about how I’m not a second-class (Jewish) citizen?

There was already an article about an Orthodox rabbinical student having difficulties getting into Israel, can you already see the headlines when my kids try to get in? "Diaspora children of Orthodox rabbis barred from Israel for fear they will take jobs from local Israelis." Isn't it amusing that people are afraid, in both America and Israel, that people like me are coming to steal their jobs? So amusing, except that it's not.

“Mass converts pose dilemma for Latin American Jews” is not the first time I’ve heard of the plight of converts in Latin America or specifically, in Columbia. I’ve heard from reliable sources that sometimes to convert in Columbia, you need to slip the rabbi a sweaty wad of cash and that this still won’t guarantee you’ll be accepted in the Jewish community.

This new JTA article hints not so subtly that the explosion in conversion in Columbia might have more to do with obtaining Israeli citizenship than genuine love of Judaism. And yet, the same article interviews Luis Alberto Prieto Vargas, who only “appears to be Jew” (because what conversion ceremony is good enough for anyone in Columbia?) whose son is studying at yeshiva in Israel (but apparently, that’s not Jewish enough, either? how many non-Jews do you know studying in yeshiva in Israel?).

Vargas is part of the Main Haim, a group of Columbian converts that turned to Israel for their conversion training only to have the Columbia Jewish community warn Israel against accepting them. The group eventually found a rabbi and converted 104 of their members. “

They decided to convert themselves as a group and establish their own community,” Marcos Peckel, president of the Columbia Jewish Community Confederation, the umbrella organization for Clumbia Jewry, says. Is it any wonder that they did this, considering that the way they are received by the broader Columbia Jewish community, that these converts have started their own community within the community?

Columbia’s chief rabbi, Aflredo Goldschmidt seems to grudgingly admit that the Internet has fueled this flood of interest in Judaism and that perhaps, many of these converts are indeed genuine. But Marcos Peckel seems more concerned about how these converts will “significantly alter the community’s life.”

The obvious xenophobia is not just oppressive, it's depressing. The article tries to end on a positive note with a quote from Rabbi Guillermo Gronstein of Peru, one of Lima’s three rabbis, ““We have to be humble. Instead of judging the people wanting to be Jewish, we should put ourselves in their shoes.”

The article only serves as a reminder to me and other converts, that converts are indeed nothing but second-class citizens, not even citizens, in the eyes of too many in the Jewish community.

In other conversion news, at a recent conversion conference, the chief rabbi of Ashdod, Rabbi Yosef Sheinin was quoted in Haaretz (“Rabbinical judge: Most immigrants seeking conversion are misguided”) making a blanket statement about immigrants from the former Soviet Union: “When they want to marry, they will do everything possibly to deceive. They are to be assumed to be cheaters.”

There is no sympathy in his words for the plight of this group of people who cannot marry in Israel because they are not Christians, not Muslims, not Jews, despite being shuttled in under the Law of Return because of their Jewish ancestry.

But these cruel politics of conversion in Israel extend farther than this Russian immigrant population, because as Rabbi Avraham Sherman, a judge of the High Rabbinical Court who wrote a ruling in April 2008 invalidating thousands of conversions approved by the state’s special conversion courts, says in the same article, "Every convert needs to be examined."

Every convert is suspect. As Ynet reports: “the question was 'Who is a Jew?', later the question became 'Who is a convert?', and now the question is ‘Who is an Orthodox convert?’.” Meanwhile, The New York Times reminds us that the Syrian-Jewish community continues to consider conversion “fictitious and valueless” banning intermarriage to non-Jews and converts. And a Forward article wonders background checks are in order and if "someone can be too evil to convert." Excuse me while I bow my head.

I worry that when I write pieces like these, prospective converts who truly love Judaism will run for the hills. Pieces like this only confirm their suspicions about the Jewish community. But I believe that knowledge is power. I believe that prospective converts need to be prepared. Perhaps on top of asking them if they realize they are joining a people that has been persecuted for nearly 6,000 years, they need to be asked if they are ready to accept that they might be persecuted by these same people for the next 6,000, that these same people might purposefully reject not just you but your children who they won't marry because your conversion will always be questionably kosher.

When I complained about the treatment of converts on someone else's blog, they retaliated with something like, "Well, why did you convert? We didn't make you." Somehow, an intellectual conversion instantly turned into a kindergarten playground squabble.

So in case you missed it in this piece, I converted to Judaism because I love G-d and I love Judaism. But I don't have to love how some born Jews think it is their G-d given right to mistreat converts. I didn't convert to Judaism so I could have a front and center seat to watch as converts are persecuted and I'm not going to sit back silently while it happens. It is heartwarming to note that many born Jews aren't willing to sit idly by either ("Lawmakers demand apologies from 'racist' rabbis who derided converts, " "Immigration minister urges chief rabbi to declare all conversions valid").

Anyway, tell me again while you sit back and make another Jew's life miserable, how this is all in the name of “authentic Judaism”? Because while you sputter your vitriolic hate, I will ponder how I do not not pity your fate in this world or the next.

Are Jewish Women...Dirrrty?

I love this woman and I love her even more now that she has a cool website.



Check out Jew in the City as she responds to "Do Orthodox Jews consider women dirty during their monthly cycle?"

Oh My G-d...

When I first learned about organized prayer in Sunday school, I was mystified. Why did we need organized prayer? Didn’t everyone, like me, pray to G-d several times a day? Wasn’t everyone in a constant dialogue with G-d?

Praying three times a day became more difficult for me when I got sick but I always feel buoyant when uttering a blessing. I love the constant reminder of being connected to G-d, of for one moment feeling the pulse that connects the whole world in just a few simple words. And yet, I still find myself praying for that perfect parking space, praying that the train will come a little faster, praying, especially, for the safety, health and prosperity of my love ones and often praying in thanks for the little things I too often overlook.

Are you leading a prayerful life? What are your favorite prayers? Mine are Shema, Modeh Ani, the final blessings of the Amidah and Psalm 27 which I focused on in a piece called “My Love/Hate Relationship with G-d.”

Be sure to check out "How We Pray," part of a series of "How Jews..." at the Mixed Multitudes blog at MyJewishLearning.com.

Patheos will blow your mind...

And yet again, another reprint for "From Ghetto Girl to Rabbi's Wife", this time on Patheos.

Patheos is a fascinating new website that hopes to help people understand the origins, history, and beliefs of the world's religions.

Patheos was recently featured in a Time magazine article, "What Do Other Religions Believe? A Website With Answers".

I AM LATINO!

The picture book, “I am Latino” is a celebration of Latino children everywhere and their various shades, cultures, and customs that define them.

While the book is for ages 4-8, it would surely serve adults as well, especially the kind who like to remind me rather often that I do not look 1) Dominican and 2) Hispanic. If I don’t look Dominican or Hispanic, why do all those little old Dominican ladies keep coming up to me asking me questions? Take that, you skeptical delusional few.

Yup, like Jews, Latinos come all shapes in colors. And there “I am Latino” will soon have a Jewish companion. Debra Darvick is working on “I love Jewish Faces,” a children’s picture book which hopes to capture Jews in all their shapes and colors. Look for it this September at URJBooksandMusic.com. Be sure that as soon as it’s out, I’ll be mentioning it again.

Shake your...

The video might be fuzzy but the music comes across loud and clear. If you're into Cuban Jewish fusion, then you're going to love Roberto Juan Rodriguez and Sexteto Rodriguez. Their latest album is Timba Talmud. Now excuse me while I go order this and every other album this group has put out! 

Reading as a writer is damn annoying!

It is getting harder and harder for me to read books for pleasure. It used to be the one certifiable way I could get away from things. But now, as I'm paging through page by page, I find myself critiquing the sentence structure and plot development. No matter what I do, I am reading as a writer, not just as a reader.

Lately, that means that I'll start a lot of books and chuck them after a few pages. It's really difficult for me to read those trashy novels I used to gobble up like bad television. But the worst the book, the louder that voice-over in my head gets: "Maybe the author could have done things better if she had written this that way...." It's really irritating!

Despite this, I have managed to finish and start two books in the last couple of weeks. Don't even get me started on the fact that as a kid, I used to read a book a day! There is no skimming for me anymore. You can't skim and critique!

Still, I managed to finish the hardy "Reading Lolita in Tehran," which could honestly be used as a weapon because it's so thick. At first, I wasn't too excited about a book that mixed memoir and literary criticism, especially since professor Azar Nafisi didn't get to authors I'd read (Austen, James) until the second half of the book. But the mix was a good thing. It lightened some of the really tragic parts of the book (living in Tehran, whoa). I was really worried about the heavy parts, too, because I'm starting to realize that I can get into a funk when I'm watching or reading painful things. And the best part of the book was that it showed how literature, good literature, can give you hope, can give you dreams even when you're in situations where you think all hope is lost and dreams are meant to be deferred.

Now, I am not reading something so heavy. I am getting another dose of vampire chick lit in the form of MaryJanice Davidson's new novel, "Undead and Unwelcome". I'm not a fan of the new covers, this being the 8th book in the series. But the thing about Davidson is that whether she's writing about werewolves (check), vampires (check) or mermaids (that's another book), you will be snorting, gasping for air and clenching your sides from the most delicious kind of laughter. This girl is funny even when the subject matter is sad or even when you are sad. I can't tell you how many times this woman has picked me up from the dumps.

Why White Supremacists are scared...

"...America at its best — open, diverse, pluralistic, fighting for human dignity and decency, confronting the hatreds that resulted in the Holocaust, the hatreds that would invite its repetition."

"Holocaust Museum: America at its best" is a heartfelt look at the latest tragedy and how we can fight against it. 

The Sotomayor Effect

In this week's Jewish Week, "The Sotomayor Effect" talks about the relationship between the Hispanic and Jewish communities. For the piece, some Latinos, some Jews and of course, some Latino Jews were interviewed.

Some good soundbites:

“Relations between the two communities are good, I think maybe better than ever,” said Moises Perez, president and CEO of the local community group Allianza Dominicana.

Go Allianza Dominicana! The article also highlights the many ways that the Latino and Jewish communities have come together to support each other, keep dialogue open and to learn about each other.

Despite this, there are still some obstacles. Check out this next quote:

“A lot of the Jewish community’s experience with Latinos might be that my housekeeper or housecleaner or my nanny is Latino,” Norek said, explaining that Jews must try to get to know Hispanic community members beyond the relationship of employee and employer.

Often, when I go over to people's homes for Shabbat, I am the only Latino woman they know who isn't their housekeeper, cleaner or nanny! Usually, this is a little uncomfortable for everyone: me, the Jewish employer and the Latino employee. I usually get a wide-eyed look from the Latino employee who can't understand why some Dominican woman is at the Shabbat table, they certainly can't imagine that I'm a Jewish Latina who hangs out with their bosses on Shabbat.

Making it harder for converts, one regulation at a time.

If you're dating a prospective convert in Israel, then you better be able to to prove your Jewishness. A new regulation put into place by the Chief Rabbinate of Israel creates more bureaucratic difficulties for converts according to Rabbi Seth Farber of ITIM.

While this is a new regulation, this is nothing new in the treatment of converts. Frequently Jewish men, even observant men, have their Jewishness questioned when they are in serious relationships with non-Jews in the conversion process. The common question asked, "If they're really Jewish, what are they doing with a non-Jew?"

According to The Jerusalem Post article, "Chief Rabbinate: New regulation doesn't complicate conversion", "The fundamental assumption of the regulation is that the Jewishness of anyone involved in a serious relationship with a non-Jew who wants to convert is questionable," said Farber.

American Jews Talk Israel

PBS talked to some prominent American Jews (including Rabbi Avi Weiss) about their relationship to Israel.

"Rabbi Avi Weiss, Hebrew Institute of Riverdale, New York:

America is my home. I’m grateful to the US forever and ever. Israel is my homeland and that’s where my family lives, literally and figuratively. When I think about existentially who I am I think of Israel. My roots, I’m grounded, my ancestry all there....

I feel for Palestinians. The fault lies with Palestinian leadership. It lies with Hamas. It lies with Hezbollah. This is not a Ghandi-Martin Luther King movement. If the rockets stop lobbing into Sderot, if they are going to stop the terrorism Israel is the first one to want peace. Unfortunately, the more Israel has given, the weaker Israel is perceived from the other side, and the more the other side wants."

Read more in "Extended Interviews: American Jews and Israel" where you'll find out why a little strip of land in the Middle East holds so much meaning to those of us who have it "easy" in America. 

How to Start a Jewish Youth Group...in Uganda

From left, Kokasi Keki, 17; Sarah Nabagala, 17; and Igaal Sizomu, 15, at Shomrei Torah Synagogue in West Hills. Photo by Jason Lipeles

Check out this heartwarming tale of "3 Ugandan Teens Learn Leadership Skills on L.A. Trip".

Oy vey, shut ya mouth!

Chabad usually gets pretty good press. Almost every convert or formerly unaffiliated Jew I've spoken to thinks that Chabadniks are the most welcoming Orthodox Jews. Can one rabbi (Manis Friedman) destroy such a good rep? You decide.

Check out: "Popular Rabbi’s Comments on Treatment of Arabs Show a Different Side of Chabad"

Lesson 1: Don't Get White American Jewish Kids Drunk?

Last week, someone made the mistake of filming a bunch of drunk, white Jews in Jerusalem after the Obama's Cairo speech.

I've heard a lot of things said:

1. These are just stupid American Jews on a Birthright Trip in Israel. They don't speak for anyone, they can barely speak for themselves (as the video shows).

2. This video is proof that young American Jews are a bunch of racists who use words like "n-gger" and "white power."

3. Now that Obama's president, we are in a "post-racial America"...and that has made some people, including American Jews, more racist.

4. The guy filming just wanted to get famous at the expense of these stupid white American Jewish kids. (Good job, no?)

5. Don't get a bunch of white Jewish kids drunk because if you do, you'll find out EXACTLY how racist they really are.

It is with a heavy heart that I put this on my blog because I know it will cause a lot of people pain. That's why I've been sitting on this story for a week despite the news it's made (check out "'Feel the Hate' for Obama").

Over at the Frum Satire blog, there was some serious conversation about racism in the Jewish community. And damn, well, it's about time. We are not all as thick-skinned as MixedJewGirl who wrote a blog about this video last week calling this video anything but shocking. In fact, she argues, this is reality. And so, I ask you, if it is...what are we going to do to change it?

My friend sent me this to cheer me up

This is where the party ends

I cant stand here listening to you
And your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
And your racist friend

It was the loveliest party that I've ever attended
If anything was broken I'm sure it could be mended
My head can't tolerate this bobbing and pretending
Listen to some bullet-head and the madness that he's saying

This is where the party ends
I'll just sit here wondering how you
Can stand by your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
You and your racist friend

This is where the party ends
I cant stand here listening to you
And your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
And your racist friend

Out from the kitchen to the bedroom to the hallway
Your friend apologizes, he could see it my way
He let the contents of the bottle do the thinking
Can't shake the devils hand and say you're only kidding

This is where the party ends
I cant stand here listening to you
And your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
And your racist friend

This is

Don't Rain on My Parade...

According to "Triple Threat: Entertainer Rain Pryor on Comedy, Caberet and her famous father," Richard Pryor's daughter isn't just white or black or Jewish or Buddhist or funny. She's a damn funny biracial Jewbu. Except when she's being serious (see below).





Oh, and did I mention she can sing?

Reflections on the Jewish Multiracial Network retreat

Mini Jews of color at play.

Last year, I begged my husband to take me to the Jewish Multiracial Network retreat. I think he rolled his eyes, asked me how much it cost and then rolled his eyes again. In the end, we didn’t end up going and a friend told us it was for the best, the retreat was mostly for white parents of adopted or biracial children of color.


But the Jewish Multiracial Network is trying to branch out and this year, there were Jews of color of all ages present: from adults to teens to children and babies. Whoever ran programming had been careful to cater to all these populations. The hope is to draw more adult Jews of color to the retreat and adjust programming to reflect these folks.


Friday night there was a treasure hunt and if I had been a kid at heart who is not afraid of the great outdoors and the great big ticks out there, I might have participated. Instead, I cozied up to fellow blogger, MixedJewGirl and talked about how we can deal with some of the obstacles facing Jews of color in the Jewish community. We talked about connecting Jews of color to each other, figuring out which synagogues are welcoming to Jews of color (check out the JMN list on this one and let me know if you have more additions for the list). We also discussed how we can fix a major problem area Jews of color face in the Jewish community: dating.



Saturday morning I got up bright and early, which is totally unlike me, because I wanted to attend some of the morning workshops. I attended one with my husband called “White Parents, Multiracial Families” with Harriet McKinney, who was wearing a name tag that proudly read "Bubbe" the whole time. We learned a lot about some of the issues white parents face raising children of color. Harriet led a fantastic workshop. She was energetic, funny and she had some great advice. I realized that when my husband and I have kids I am going to have a lot of questions for her and the parents I met at the workshop.

You know, hanging around!


Next we attended the workshop “Ashkenazi Privilege Checklist and Beyond” led by Sasha King. I have been using the Ashkenazi Privilege Checklist in my talks on racism and it was great to here the force behind created it to talk about how it can be used and how it has been implemented in anti-racism education in the Jewish community. I was surprised that some people had reservations about it. I think the hardest part for some was accepting that there is white and Ashkenazi Privilege in the Jewish community and how it excludes others.


After lunch, my husband and I gave our talk. First, I did my shtick/performance called “Memoirs of a Jewminicana” where I talk about how and why I converted to Judaism and what it’s like being a Jew of color in a world where people can’t imagine you can be Hispanic and American, much less Hispanic and Jewish. After my 20-minute bit, my husband and I came together to talk about what it has been like for us discussing racism in the Jewish community. Overall people were really supportive as we voiced our frustrations. And someone introduced themselves afterwards and told me that I wasn’t the only Dominican at the retreat because hea and his wife had adopted a Dominican child! I was totally blown away.

One workshop led by April Baskin and Ariel Vergosen was one of the most emotional, awesome workshops I've ever attended in my life. Jews of all colors came together to honestly discuss their personal experiences and their connections to the Jewish community. I learned so much about myself and how others view the Jewish world and their lives as part of it.


We decided to check out on Saturday night so we missed the Sunday morning programming. I really had a fantastic, relaxing time. I felt like I was in an alternate universe all of Shabbat, surrounded by such beautiful Jews of all shapes and colors. It was fascinating to talk to white parents who are raising little Jews of color. It was incredible to hear about the experiences of biracial Jews who had been raised in the Jewish community. I heard the word “ally” used over and over again and I met many of them, so many white Jews who are sensitive to the issues Jews of colors face and were there to support us.


Last year, I tried to convince some of my friends to attend the event with their kids. But there was a question of how this kind of event would work for observant Jews. So, here’s my take on that....

It was really odd to have Shabbat dinner really early (I think the Isabella Freedman Center, where this event was held, has specific meal times). Throughout the retreat, my husband and I davened alone together without a minyan. There were services but I don’t know that an Orthodox Jew would have felt comfortable at them. At Limmud NY and Limmud LA, there were simultaneous services of all kinds but because many of the Jews at the JMN were not observant, there was no demand for a male-led, mechitzah service.


Mostly, people were really sensitive on Shabbat about being respectful of those of us who observed it stringently. I didn’t see anyone talking on their cell phones and most activities were Shabbat-friendly. There were some that were not and I could understand how this would have made many of my friends uncomfortable. I was familiar with these issues after attending LimmudNY and LimmudLA. I truly believe that as more shomer Shabbat people attend this JMN event, accommodations will be made for them.

While perhaps in practice, others at the retreat did not connect to Jewish traditions in the same way I do, I found that most of the people I interacted with were very spiritual and very connected to the Jewish community. So what? For some of the people I met, maintaining a connection to the Jewish community has proved incredibly difficult. They or their children have been routinely ostracized and been on the receiving end of racism way too often. In spite of this, they have tried to change the Jewish community from within to make it a more welcoming place.

The Havdalah ceremony was also really, really early. Probably, this was the oddest non-Shabbat friendly experience for me. We ditched that group activity and stayed in our rooms while it took place. When Shabbat was over, we came out and the staff helped us scrounge up grape juice, candles and a nice-smelling tea bag so we could do our own Havdalah ceremony. At this point, there was already a bonfire taking place outdoors. Yes, it was a little uncomfortable but we survived and it was worth it.


Of course, I would attend the event again, despite the aspects that were not Shabbat-friendly. I cannot explain how deeply moving it was to connect with other adult Jews of color and relate our varied experiences in the Jewish community. At one workshop, I started crying because I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I think I was able to cry in front of everyone because I felt that I was in a safe, supportive space.

Even the goats at the Isabella Freedman Center were multiracial. Here is the proud white papa with his kids. The biracial mama goat (black/brown) is not pictured.

While I do expect to have to raise my children in a Jewish community where most people do not look like them, where they are constantly “Other,” just thinking about it feels incredibly daunting. But I felt like most of the parents there that it was wonderful that one time of the year, at this JMN retreat, our kids could experience a world where most Jews looked like them, where no one stared at them or interrogated them about how they were Jewish. Hopefully, one day the entire Jewish community will be able to provide this kind of positive, safe space for all Jews of color.

Wow, I'm in the NY Daily News!

"But on June 10, 1967, the U.S. Supreme Court declared in a landmark decision that no state could restrict marriages based on race or culture."

My husband and I were featured in this lovely article about multicultural/multiracial marriages, check it out: "In the melting pot of NYC, these mixed-cultural couples think the world of each other". 

A Bro Mitzvah? Que es eso?

Bobb'e J. Thompson, the scene-stealing, hilarious little guy in the film "Role Models," wants a "Bro Mitzvah" for his thirteenth birthday. No, he's not Jewish. 

A friend sent me this clip with a note "I didn't find it funny and I have a big sense of humor."

I certainly smiled while watching it but Bobb'e is less interested in Judaism than the cold hard cash he thinks gets shelled out at bar mitzvah parties. 

Personally, I'll stick to "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah."

When every friend's just a little bit racist....

I have been crying for 15 minutes. My chest hurts, my stomach hurts. My heart hurts. I feel like walls around my heart are caving in and my lungs feel smaller, tighter, like the air has been sucked out of them.

Do I look like your f$%^ing priest I want to say? Do I look like I’m taking confession?

This is anger but I don’t feel anger, not at first. First, I just feel pain.

Because my friends, my white Jewish friends, their white Jewish friends, like confessing their discomfort, their latent racist tendencies to me.

Because apparently, I look like a f$%#ing priest.

They assure me that these racist tendencies don’t apply to me because I’m different. I’m not one of those people. That’s why they can confide in me.

They can tell me on the day that I’ve been rocking my afro, that actually they don’t think Michelle Obama should ever wear her hair natural. That makes them uncomfortable. They don’t even like seeing her kids rocking their hair au natural. Seeing the Obamas with their hair natural just strikes my friends as unnatural. But they assure me, they like my hair just the way it is. “It’s cute.”

And they would never date black people. No, no. But this doesn’t apply to me because I’m not black, I’m Hispanic, you know. There isn’t enough African blood in my veins for me to be offended by this confession, they assure me. No, it would kill my grandmother if I married a black person. So what if your grandmother died? Would you do it then? Silence. And a black Jew? Silence.

My grandmother was an anti-Semite. And you know, she didn't die when I became a Jew, when I married one.

Every time feels like a violation. I was safe. So safe. Ignorance was bliss. But I can’t get back there now that I know the truth. Now that I know how you really feel about me, about people like me, about my unborn children you think shouldn’t wear their hair natural and shouldn’t marry into your family.

And did you know that you were ripping my heart right out of my chest? Probably not. If you knew, I’d like to think you would have thought about it before you said something. Like I think about it before I tell you I hate white people because they’re all racists. I mean, they're not right? I mean, they can't be. I just hope. Please tell me, they're not.

MixedJewGirl responds with "When people forget you're a minority".

When Parents Suck...

I am an orphan...with two living, breathing parents who have been either completely useless or totally abusive to me and my sisters during our lifetimes. My family, my real family, is made up of three people (me and my sisters) and we've adopted my husband into the fold. Yeah, we're a pretty tiny bunch but it's cozy. 

My sister recently moved back to New York with her husband and they have been trying to find a place, an apartment, to live in to no avail. They're too poor, my sister was told by several landlords who said they could have the place if they had a parent or a family member cosign on the lease or act as a guarantor. We told the landlords what we've been telling people most of our lives, we are orphans. We have never had anyone but each other to depend on. And all of us are too poor to cosign or act as a guarantor. 

So today, when my sister called me to tell me that she, her husband and her cat had been evicted by US Marshalls from the room they had been renting because their roommate hadn't been paying the rent, I almost cried. I would have cried. If I hadn't been so angry. Why do these kinds of things keep happening to us? Why can't a former teen runaway catch a break? And who would she turn to? Who could take her in? This is when you need family, their resources and their support. But my husband, my other sister and I are all deathly allergic to cats and we had nothing but a couch to offer. And my sister wouldn't let go of her cat, after all, it's part of the family.

I posted a note about this situation on my Facebook page and within half-an-hour, someone called me with a room for rent that my sister, her husband AND her cat could move into. And before that someone called, plenty of people posted and emailed me that my sister and her husband (minus the cat) could move in with them. Instantly, several people were online instant messaging me to make sure I was okay, to see how they could help. 

That's when I realized my family has gotten much bigger. Because every single person that offered their home as a refuge for my little sister was a Jew. Every single person was part of this new awesome, larger extended family that I am a part of and by extension, my sisters are now a part of. When people ask my little sister if she is Jewish because she is so knowledgeable about Judaism (one of them kept kosher and was shomer Shabbos with me during my conversion process), she tells them, "My family is."

A Jewminicana Laments

Many guest posts this week! Check out my guest post over at MixedJewGirl World. In "A Jewminicana Laments", I discuss the pain and incredible disappointment I experienced when I was rebuffed for explaining to white Jews that Benjamin Cardozo was not the first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice.

Nightmare at the Museum

Just when you thought it was safe to go to the museum, a shooting at the U.S. Holocaust Museum says different.



Why would anyone shoot up a Holocaust museum of all places?

The Jewish American Girl doll meets the Dominican American Girl doll

Rebecca Rubin

Okay, so American Girl created a Jewish doll. Her name is Rebecca Rubin and not all her outfits are tznius (modest). She’s growing up in New York City in 1914, right around when my great-grandmother was born. She’s a Russian Jewish girl who wants to “stay true to her heart as she follows her dreams in the big city.”

In "The New American Girl Doll: Whose Version of Jewish?” some valid points are explored. For instance, despite the fact that Sephardic Jews have been in America (and New York), a great deal longer, Rebecca Rubin is an Eastern European Jew through and through. Given the multicultural landscape of American Jewry, does Rebecca represent all Jews everywhere? Is that too much to put all that on one tiny little doll? Come on, she does after all come with a Sabbath set and an American flag.

Josephina Montoya

And of course, the first minute I heard there was a Jewish American Girl doll, I wondered if there was a Hispanic one. There is. Her name is Josephina Montoya and she’s a “New Mexican” girl growing up in 1824. She lives on a rancho and likes celebrating a good fiesta. “Can Josefina welcome change and still remember the old ways?” Probably not, this is America after all, the ultimate melting pot. This means some stuff’s got to melt. More likely, Josephina’s great-grandchildren will not speak Spanish or understand the world fiesta but they will marvel at their WASP-y neighbors who have a piñata at their birthday parties.

Working draft of "Grace" doll

So how about a Dominican American Girl doll replete with some of the stereotypes and historical facts creating Rebecca Rubin probably entailed? I suppose we, Dominicans, haven’t been in America long enough for people to start thinking about how we fit in historically into the grand scheme of American Girl dolls. Of course, that can’t stop me from dreaming.

So, introducing: Altagracia Anibalixa Rodriguez!

Altagracia’s story begins when she and her mother escape poverty in the Dominican Republic by heading for Washington Heights in the early 1970s, leaving her father and her four younger siblings behind with abuelita, Mami's mother, to take care of them.

Altagracia and her Mami are from Santiago and when they arrive in New York, they don’t speak a word of English. Altagracia quickly picks up the language from watching television. But Mami doesn’t and so she ends up working two jobs, stitching together clothes in a garment factory downtown and working as a maid for a family on the Upper East Side who mistakenly thinks Mami is Mexican. Mami has to explain frequently that she doesn’t know how to make tortillas, quesadillas or tacos.

For breakfast, Altagracia eats mangú (mashed plantains) with eggs or salchichon (hard salami). Sometimes, she has a watery version of rice pudding, arroz con leche, which is quite delicious. For lunch, there is always rice and beans, plantains, chicken or beef and a very plain salad (lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers). Sometimes, Mami surprises Altagracia by adding avocado salad on the side or making habichuelas con dulce for dessert.

Altagracia is surprised by how many different kinds of people speak Spanish in Washington Heights. She meets Puerto Ricans, Cubans, Peruvians, Mexicans from all over the Latin America and the Caribbean. In school, she’s always breaking up fights between her Puerto Rican and Dominican friends…she can’t bear to choose sides because her own abuelito, who is not longer with us, was half-Puerto Rican. Though at home, Mami calls her Anibalixa, in school, her white American teachers simply call her "Grace."

While doing her homework, Altagracia listens to merengue and dreams of becoming a lawyer or a doctor and making her family proud. She has never actually met a Latina doctor or lawyer but still she dreams. She practices being able to say chocolate correctly on a daily basis: “chocolate” not “shocolate,” she scolds herself. Altagracia hopes to make enough money one day to bring her father and her younger siblings to New York. She also wants to be able to support her mother so Mami won’t have to work so hard.

Altagracia Anibalixa comes with many accessories, including a rosary (she is Catholic), an azabache pendant (see below) to protect her from the evil eye, an American flag, a Dominican flag, a tostonera for mashing plaintains, a güira and a pair of maracas.

Of course, when Altagracia Anibalixa Rodriguez decides to convert to Judaism, she will come with a Shabbat candle set, too. 

An azabache pendant and a güira.