Tiller's Murder

After hearing that abortion doctor, Dr. George Tiller was murdered, I made the mistake of following the threads mentioning him on Twitter. Many of them, including those by religious Jews, were very positive Tweets about how glad they were that this man was dead, that he had been murdered.

Here is author Ayelet Waldman, in an email I received, speaking out about Dr. George Tiller's murder:

Most of you are used to receiving from me funny little emails, chock full of jokes and self-promotion. But today I'm emailing for a different reason. Today Dr. George Tiller, one of the last late term abortion providers in the country, was assassinated by an anti-abortion maniac, a home-grown American terrorist, brought to you by the likes of Randall Terry and Bill O'Reilly.

Women went to Dr. Tiller when they were given diagnoses of fatal abnormalities, when they'd been sent from doctor to doctor, desperate to find out what was wrong with their babies, only to hear the worst possible news. They came from all over the country, and found in his clinic -- once they'd run the gauntlet of the hysterical and rage-filled protesters -- warmth and sensitivity, support and caring. You can read a few of these women's stories here.

There is no doubt that this vile murder was inspired by the likes of Bill O'Reilly, who targeted Dr. Tiller, and by Operation Rescue and the Kansas anti-choice organizations who put Dr. Tiller's name, his photographs, his home address, and the address of his church up on their websites, the better to facilitate his murder. Organizations like Priests for Life tried to shirk hoped in the beginning even to pin the blame on "an angry post-abortive man or woman, or a misguided activist, or an enemy within the abortion industry." (Yes, that is in fact a quote from their official statement.)

I'm going to ask you to do something for me. I'm going to ask you to make a small donation. $5. $10. $100. Whatever you feel moved to donate, in Dr. Tiller's honor. And in honor of the millions of women like me, whose hearts were broken by pregnancies gone terribly wrong. Women who found only warmth and love in the care of Dr. Tiller and the other courageous few who continue to risk their lives for our sakes.

Donate here, or here, or here.

They kill us, and still they make us stronger. Let's prove it to them.


Yours,

Ayelet Waldman

An article from Ayelet Waldman about her abortion in The Huffington Post, "A Modicum of Dr. Tiller's Courage".

Racist! Racist! Racist!

Wow, are things getting heated over Sotomayor's nomination or what? 

I spent last week arguing with my Jewish friends that she, not Benjamin Cardozo, IS the first Hispanic Supreme Justice nominee--more on that in future posts. This week the focus has been whether or not Sotomayor is a racist. Funny isn't it that when an ethnic minority is proud of their background, it's called racism? Maybe she was a little too proud of being Latino so they had to figure out a way to bring her down a notch. 

So a Latino organization called La Raza, the Latino version of the NAACP that Sotomayor is associated with, has most recently been equated with the KKK and Rush Limbaugh is calling Sotomayor a "reverse racist."

Watch the first clip by Sotomayor's detractors and then the second from the president of La Raza. 

'Racheim' Like You've Never Heard...or Seen...It Before

Someone forwarded this to me. I thought I'd try to find more information on the singers and instead, I stumbled upon another blog where people were asking, "Are they Jewish?" And someone responded, "They don't look too Jewish to me." Sigh.

Funny, they look pretty Jewish to me.

Thanks to the dear reader who uncovered their website. Check out "Hazken Voices" for more information.

Yeah, I'm down!

So you know that "Havana Guila" is my favorite "Hava Nagila." That's salsa, baby, music you can move those hips to. 

Thousands?!

Not sure how to feel about the latest Jerusalem Post piece on conversion, "Conversions down by 20 percent in 2009". 

First, wow. I didn't realize there were thousands of people converting to Judaism every year in Israel. I wonder if anyone's keeping track of those numbers in the States. I would be interested to hear these statistics.

Second, after my bit stint in Israel at a haredi (ultra-Orthodox) conversion school, I can definitely hear the argument that the system needs to be more transparent without lowering standards. The same can be said of the system here. I know plenty of converts here who are anxiously awaiting their conversion paperwork to show up a year after the actual process was completed.

Third, I wonder if less people were interested in converting this year and does that have to do with the complicated process it is in Israel? It would seem that the article is pointing in this direction.  

Honestly, it sounds like no matter how complicated the process, people will be putting themselves through the ringer anyway to convert. But they shouldn't have to be. Can't say it wasn't painful to hear that many prospective converts I know were rethinking or had given up on conversion altogether when the Israeli Rabbinate got involved with the RCA (Rabbinical Council of America) to "streamline" the process. I hope that since things eventually settled down, these prospective converts will give the Jewish community a second chance. I think they deserve one. 

Still laughing

Yup, still laughing after spotting this sign before exiting a bridge in New York City on Memorial Day. Seriously, there's no place like New York. How will I ever get over it?

Happy Shavuot!

Now, it's time to go turn into a pumpkin. At least, that's the funny phrase my sisters came up with for what happens when I cut away from the world (no phones, no Internet, nothing but Torah)! for a Jewish holiday or for Shabbat. 

It's rainy, I haven't had enough exercise and my whole body is aching so I can't tell you how incredibly excited I am to celebrate another Shavuot! 

Tonight, it will be me, some pain pills and the Book of Ruth. And thanks to high cholesterol and lactose intolerance, I won't be partaking of the requisite holiday cheesecake but I will be up most of the night reading up on why Jews overdose on dairy products this time every year. 

Since all the blog posts are already up for the rest of the week (sorry for all the confusion!), I won't see you until next week. Make sure to scroll over this week's blog to make sure I have interspersed any new posts you might have overlooked. 

From Prison to Judaism

Louis Ferrante was born an Italian Catholic and was a former member of the Gambino crime family. Now? He's a Jew. 

Read "Q&A with Louis Ferrante" and check out his memoir, "Unlocked: The Life and Crimes of a Mafia Insider"

I just love these guys!

Hazkeni Voice drops an album in June.

Goal!!!!!!

"Conversion is not political football" according to Haaretz. Unfortunately, it certainly looks like it's playing out like a soccer game to the rest of us.

This is a beautiful article, namely because it tries to remind us of something people often forget. Converts are individuals. We are not one collective, united group though we are often treated like one. And all too often we are mistreated by other Jews in actions, words and worse, by a climate that is sometimes anything but accepting of prospective, current and future converts.

Why is it that we mistreat the people who want nothing more than to be one of us? Why do we make them more vulnerable than they already are? And who does this benefit?

Look Ma, I'm semi-famous!

Wow, that was fast. While hanging out in my pjs the other day (my all-time favorite attire), I was interviewed by someone at The Forward about the Riverdale terrorist plot. Of course, now everyone knows I'm a big scaredy cat but what can you do? 

Check out: "Riverdale’s Jews Are Shaken but Stronger"

Thank you!

A little treat in my inbox today! Thank you, dear reader!

Stepping up to Shul

Jews of color and shul can be a bad combination. Many Jews of color are reticient or downright scared off by the idea of walking into a synagogue. The stares, the stupid questions...it can get pretty uncomfortable.

But one Jew of color, Celeste Jackson, insists that Jews of color need to overcome these barriers because they are an integral part of the Jewish community.

To read her impassioned letter, mosey on over to another great post by MixedJewGirl, "Stepping up to schul [sic]". 

The Hebrew Mamita tells it like it is

It's not so easy being a Jewish poet. Between the anti-Semitism from non-Jews and being called 'an angry black man' by an Orthodox Jew, Vanessa Hidary, the Hebrew Mamita, has a lot to say and I'm certainly glad (I hope you are too) she hasn't let these crazy people silence her.

Conversion & Shavuot

My latest piece is up on the OU website. Check out "Conversion is So Not Original".

NOT LATINO!

I don't know how many times or how many ways I have to say it: Benjamin Cardozo was not Hispanic, not Latino. Let it go, Jewish folks. And if you're still unconvinced, read "Cultural Ettiquette: Why Jews Should Respect Sotomayor as the First Possible Latino/a Supreme Court Justice.

This blog is under rabbinical supervision

My rebbe says I am not allowed to schedule posts to go up on my blog in advance during holidays when I will be decidedly offline and unable to post for the day. So, I won't. But like the good Modern Orthodox Jew I am, I have figured out a way around it, as you can see by the blogs already posted for future dates this week. Enjoy!

More on Jew-on-Jew hate crimes

Now, speaking of Jew-on-Jew hate crimes (for those of you reading the comments on "Taking North Carolina by Storm")....

Apparently, Rabbi Norman Lamm is no hater!

At least, that's what the latest Jerusalem Post article claims. Reading "Setting the record straight on Rabbi Lamm" is a must. 

And it's not just anybody coming to Rabbi Lamm's defense. The article was penned by none other than Rabbi Seth Farber, Israel's Patron Saint for Jewish converts. 

Indian Hava Nagila

In case you can't believe an Indian version of Hava Nagila exists, you should check out Sadia Shepard's book, "The Girl From Foreign: A Search for Shipwrecked Ancestors, Forgotten Histories and a Sense of Home," about rediscovering her Indian Jewish roots.

This blog has apparently inspired a trend. Swing over to the MyJewishLearning.com blog, Mixed Multitudes for "Around the World With Hava Nagila" where you can catch different interpretations of the song that's sweeping not just the nation, but apparently, the world! Because you haven't lived until you've heard Hava Nagila with bagpipes. 

Um, 'kay?

How does the Associated Press even know I exist?

This is a question I asked myself last Friday when I got an email from one of their writers asking me if I would mind being interviewed for a community profile on Riverdale. Of course, I said "yes" but I still assumed it was a joke or some part of a mass hallucination.

Apparently, it wasn't. Right before Shabbat set in, I had a 20-minute conversation with a reporter. Amazingly, I gave her some good quotes. Amazing because I was kind of passed out from a vicious bout of chronic pain during the entire thing.

Check out my soundbites in "Temple bomb case hurtful reminder in NYC community".

The piece was also carried by "The Kansas City Star", "The Albany Times Union", "Netscape News", "The Greeley Tribune" and my personal favorite because it's in Spanish, "El Diario La Prensa".

Illegal Immigrant Children

Illegal aliens are coming in to steal our healthcare and our jobs! At least, that's what I hear. Nobody's talking about the kids caught in the crossfire. In "Immigrants' children might get help from DREAM Act", Victor Manuel Ramos profiles one of those kids.

"Walter Lara grew up in Florida. An honor student in high school, he prefers to speak English and is a computer whiz who dreamed of becoming a graphic artist. But Lara, a Sorrento resident, is an illegal immigrant with a final deportation order. He has several weeks left before he has to return to an Argentina he no longer remembers."

His story is similar to those of many hopeless students I taught as a NYC public high school teacher. Without hope of any hope of furthering their educational careers in college, many of these students became increasingly depressed as graduation approached.

One of my juniors, a very intelligent, bright well-read 16-year-old Dominican illegal immigrant considered keeping her boyfriend's baby because the baby would have been a U.S. citizen. In the end, she decided to have an abortion. She simply couldn't bring a baby into the world without knowing what her own future would bring.

Shabbatsense

Aliza: Mosquito!!!

Lil' Sister rolls her eyes and pushes it away with her magazine.

Mosquito revolts and flies at Aliza.

Aliza: Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!

Lil' Sister: Why?

Hubby: Might have piglet flu.

Am I a Cool Jew?

I'm reading through "Cool Jew: The Ultimate Guide for Every Member of the Tribe". Having some trouble with the humor because I have a big cultural gap when it comes to Jewish humor. It's an interesting mix of Jewish fun facts, totally-out-there crazed content, debatable Jewish stereotypes...all told with an irreverent tone. Don't know if I'm a "Cool Jew" but however, kitschy this book is, it's clear that it's a celebration of Jewish culture.



Listen to author Lisa Alcalay Klug discuss the book on QTV. It's great to listen to her talk about her love of Jewish culture and a national revival of Jewish culture. Her points on Woody Allen are dead-on and her points on Jewish stereotypes are interesting.

Taking North Carolina By Storm...

Alysa Stanton, a Conservative convert (previous articles said Orthodox) who practices Reform Judaism and has been previously featured on this blog to much fanfare, will be the First black female rabbi to take N.C. pulpit".

Diane Tobin, Associate Director of The Institute for Jewish & Community Research and founder of Be'chol Lashon (In Every Tongue), who was interviewed for this JTA piece, hopes that Stanton's ordination will provide young black Jewish Americans "with an important role model. Hopefully, over time they will see themselves reflected in the community."

Read more about the new rabbi in "10 minutes with … Alysa Stanton". "Pulpit Of Color", a piece in Jewish Week, is the most fleshed-out profile on the rabbi who says she's "a rabbi who just happens to be African-American." For some reason, I found the phrasing troubling.

If you have a strong, STRONG stomach, you can slide over to "Appointment Of First Female Black Rabbi Reignites Stark Division Between Orthodox And Reform Movement", most of the (of course, Anonymous) comments are so thoroughly vile, it seems that plenty of people will be in need of spiritual cleansing this upcoming Yom Kippur. Oh, how I loath hate crimes.

By the way, as someone who has been forewarned that my status as a convert and woman of color might affect my husband's job prospects, I am looking forward towards this hopeful future where people of color are no longer marginalized in (or marginalized by) the Jewish community.

Conversion News Roundup

With Shavuot looming, all eyes seem to be on conversion! The Book of Ruth, which we read on Shavuot, has some competition this year.

Internet-trained conversion hopefuls less likely to pass"

Apparently, getting a PHD in Chabad.org and Aish.com is not enough learning to convert to Judaism. That's why I also studied Simpletoremember.org.

Analysis: The rabbis vs the jurists"

Rabbis go head to head with jurists and thousands of converts, most of whom are immigrants from the former Soviet Union, are caught in the middle.

"Court: Justify conversion annulments"

"The High Court of Justice took a dramatic decision on Monday, giving the dayanim of the Higher Rabbinical Court and the Ashdod District Rabbinical Court 90 days to explain why they had revoked the conversions made by the special conversion court of Rabbi Haim Druckman."

"The secret Jews of the Southwest"

"This Shavuot, as Jews around the world celebrate the giving of the Torah on Mount Sinai and read the Book of Ruth -- the story of the world's most famous convert to Judaism -- some of these Crypto-Jewish returnees will celebrate their bar and bat mitzvah with Leon at Congregation B'nai Zion, a synagogue with 400 families."

"Explain conversion stance, rabbinic court ordered"

Converts, whose conversions have been annulled, are fighting back for their right to be Jewish.

"Interior Ministry refuses to recognize marriage of Nigerian converts"

"A Nigerian couple that wed under rabbinate supervision in Israel last year is continuing to push for official recognition after being told by the Interior Ministry that the wife underwent a private conversion to Judaism that cannot be recognized." Is racism involved?

"Event unearths the deep Jewish roots of Boyle Heights"

"At Fiesta Shalom, Latinos and Jews unite to celebrate the 60th anniversary of Israeli statehood in what was once the biggest Jewish enclave outside of New York."

"The kind of humor you have to be Jewish to get"

A fascinating profile of convert/comedian Yisrael Campbell.

"Mexican-American family returns to Jewish roots"

I spotted this and many other interesting articles in the April 2009 Be'chol Lashon newsletter. Be sure to check it out.

"High Court praised for helping to stop Beit Din's 'inquisition' of converts to Judaism"

"Women's groups and those working with converts welcomed the ground-breaking decision of the country's secular High Court of Justice Monday, which called on the Beth Din (Rabbinic Court) to justify its annulment of several Jewish conversions made by the government-appointed National Conversion Authority, headed by Rabbi Haim Druckman."

"Problems in rabbinical establishment surface over conversions"

"The cases of the two women whose conversions by the National Conversion Authority were revoked by the Higher Rabbinical Court have brought to public attention a severe dispute between two government institutions allegedly having the same authority to convert non-Jews."
"Reform convert bodies to get funds"

"In a landmark ruling, the High Court of Justice on Tuesday decided that the Immigration Absorption Ministry must set criteria that would allow equal funding to private Reform and Conservative institutions that prepare prospective converts to Judaism."

"Reform Movement not overjoyed by conversion class ruling"

The Reform movement doesn't think the conversion class ruling goes far enough and they have other ideas about how to effect change in Israel.

"Court's conversion decision could cost state NIS 7m."

Recent decisions with regards to Reform and Conservative conversion schools in Israel will cost much dinero.

"Menorah Illuminates Davis Jr.’s Judaism"

The menorah of what is arguably the most famous African-American convert is up for grabs.

"Window for Pluralism"

"Israel’s Reform and Conservative movements began calculating Tuesday how much money they would receive hours after Israel’s top court ordered the state to fund their conversion programs."

"Analysis: Is the Orthodox funding monopoly ending?"

This article offers questions but few answers.

"Pastrami sans mayo: How one Greenfield Catholic became a Jewish mother"

"Greenfield native Sally Srok Friedes hadn’t been to Mass in more than a decade. She adored her fiancé, and had attended Passover seders and High Holiday services with Michael and his mother on Manhattan’s Upper East Side."

"“New Jew” Found Way in Larchmont"

Another article about Reform Convert Sally Srok Friedes and her memoir about her conversion, "The New Jew."

"Funding conversion"

"Israel is a Jewish state. Yet, paradoxically, all too many of its native-born Jewish citizens are alienated from their heritage."

Some of these articles make me thank G-d that I'm in America where conversion is simple...just kidding!

Getting Better

I have learned that there are some things you don't get better from. Some things don't have solutions, don't have quick fixes. Chronic illness, becoming disabled, living with something like fibromyalgia, has taught me this. But when I tell people I am "sick," they expect me to get better. It depresses the hell out of them when I burst that bubble and explain, I'm in it for life.

I haven't quite figured out how to explain this to people without bringing them down, without making them cry. Lucky for me, people who have been at this a little longer have. So, what's it like being sick all the time? Read "The Spoon Theory" and find out.

Happy Jerusalem Day!

Ah for Yom Yerushalayim, I am recycling an old post about my first day in Israel, where I stayed in Jerusalem.

Read "Fish Out of Water" and chuckle at my pathetic attempt to survive outside of New York!

Hot Blogger to Watch!

After becoming buds with "Mixed Jew Girl" on Facebook and seeing all the wonderful things she posts there, I coerced her into starting a blog. She's posting some great things there!

In her latest post, she's discussing "Ashkenazi Privilege and Ethnicity" and that answering that age old question I get during my racism talks, "why isn't it okay to ask someone about their racial or ethnic background?"

Riverdale in the News? What?

Yes, I live in Riverdale. The Riverdale where the synagogues were almost blown up. Because converting to Judaism means now worrying about being blown up during prayer.

An email from my local synagogue:

"Last night, the New York City Police Department and the FBI apprehended four terrorists whom they were tracking for many months as the perpetrators placed bombs in cars in front of the Riverdale Jewish Center and Riverdale Temple. The bombs were inactive and inert, having been supplied by undercover government agents.

In the private briefing, Police Commissioner Kelly told Riverdale political and clergy leaders that at no time was anyone in danger, as the operation was being carefully monitored. They have assured us that there is no danger to our community. Police have now been stationed in front of all Riverdale synagogues.

We are deeply grateful to the Police and the FBI for an operation well done. We are confident that authorities will be vigilant to make sure that our communities continue to be properly protected.

We reach out to the Riverdale Temple and Riverdale Jewish Center communities with expressions of deep solidarity. Please feel free to call the office and speak to us if you have any concerns.

This is a time to raise a voice of moral conscience against this horror. We have a chance to do this tonight, as we gather to celebrate the liberation of Jerusalem. This is an opportunity to bring our families for an evening of prayer and song and declaration that Am Yisrael Chai."

Read more in "The Plot to Bomb Riverdale: How it Unraveled". The Riverdale Press also covered the story, "Bombing Attempt Foiled at Riverdale Temple".

Another Conversion Documentary

"Leap of Faith" is another documentary focusing on conversion to Judaism. The trailer places a particular emphasis on the responses of Christian family members. This is not especially extraordinary considering that one of the top questions people ask converts is: "How did your family feel about it?"

I think this film will go far towards highlighting the plight of converts, who are often not fully accepted by the community they've left or the community they've joined. If anything, it will certainly start to change the commonly held view that people only convert for marriage.

JOFA Celebrates New Orthodox Female Clergy

In my email inbox today...

"JOFA celebrates an historic moment for the Jewish people - the ordination of Sara Hurwitz as a full member of the Orthodox clergy followed by the establishment of a new school to ordain female rabbinic leaders. We are grateful to Rabbi Avi Weiss who has recognized the need to formally acknowledge the growing learning and assumption of communal and synagogue responsibilities by women today.

Sara Hurwitz's appointment as Mahara"t - leader in halakhic, spiritual and Torah issues - recognizes her position in the Hebrew Institute of Riverdale as a rabbi with the authority to answer questions of Jewish law. She has passed the same semikhah behinot (tests required for rabbinic ordination) that entitle men to be called Rabbi. We trust that Yeshivat Mahara"t will offer this same opportunity to other qualified women so that they can take their rightful position in Orthodox leadership.

This milestone did not occur in an historical vacuum. It is another step forward on a long road traveled by many outstanding women before Sara Hurwitz. It goes back in time to Devorah the prophetess, Bruriah, Nechama Leibowitz, Sarah Schneirer and countless other women through the centuries who learned and taught Torah. Sara Hurwitz's accomplishment underscores the realization that the continuity of the Jewish people requires learned women who can contribute to the leadership and education of our communities. Yeshivat Mahara"t is a natural outgrowth of many excellent institutions of higher learning that exist today for women all over the world. This latest stage in the evolution of Orthodox leadership follows many firsts - the first female congregational interns, to'anot, yo'atzot halakhah, women teachers of Talmud, Rosh Kehillah and Rosh Beit Midrash. We look forward to the day when more female rabbinic leaders join Sara Hurwitz as full members of the Orthodox clergy.

The new position of Mahara"t challenges us to ensure that all female teachers and congregational and communal leaders have the same opportunity as Sara Hurwitz. We applaud the establishment of a yeshiva which will offer an institutionalized system of learning and behinot, so that women who qualify receive the title of Mahara"t. Our fervent hope is that as we travel further along the path of spiritual growth in Torah, more women will fulfill the traditional yeshiva requirements of semikhah and be accorded the same respect for their achievement as men. We will reach another milestone when the official title of Rabbi, that truly reflects what they have learned and how they will serve, will be bestowed equally upon all qualified men and women.

About JOFA (Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance)

Founded in 1997, JOFA's mission is to expand the spiritual, ritual, intellectual, and political opportunities for observant Jewish women within the framework of halakha (the collective body of Jewish law). JOFA's commitment is rooted in the belief that fulfilling its mission will enrich and uplift individual and communal life for all Jews. It enjoys the support of scholars and leaders throughout the Jewish world. Membership is open to women and men. For more information, visit www.jofa.org or call 212-679-8500."

I guess it's official.

Obviously

It never fails.

I get into the Seaman Car Service taxi and tell the driver where we’re going in English. Then I switch to Spanish. At which point, the driver turns around and says, “You speak Spanish?!” And I say, “Yes, I’m Dominican.” At which point, the driver turns around again and stares, “YOU’RE DOMINICAN!”

If it weren’t against some Jewish laws, I would get a tattoo. On my forehead. I’m Dominican. I’m Jewish. I’m American. My forehead is rather large so I think a great many things would fit on it.

Also, maybe I could even put “I have fibromyalgia” or “Please don’t touch, that hurts!” somewhere across my cheek. It would attach a TINYURL link to WebMD so they could understand why even the slightest touch is sometimes the worst sort of evil they could have done against my sorry, squishy little body.

I just don’t want to explain myself every day. It’s boring. I’m tired. I don’t want to be asked every day, “Where you from? Where you really from?” No, it’s not just the white Jews that are asking. Even Dominicans can hardly recognize me as one of their own on sight, I can’t tell you how refreshing it is when they do. Invariably some little old Dominican lady will turn to me out of nowhere and ask me for help in Spanish and I will bounce over to her feeling overwhelming relief.

I still can’t understand the guy who asked me in Los Angeles if I was born in America. I just know that I wanted to slap him. But maybe, it’s easier to get an eagle tattoo or a Star - Spangled Banner head scarf? Would that be going overboard? Would that be trying too hard?

I want someone to come up to me one day and say, "Well, hello, you're obviously a nice Dominican American Orthodox Jewish future rabbi's wife with fibromyalgia. Now, isn't that nice!"

I know, I know but I can dream.

Always the last to know...

When Jewschool posted the information below recently on their blog, I thought they were kidding. Apparently, they weren't.

"I just got a huge announcement in a tiny email:

We are pleased to announce the opening of Yeshivat Mahara”t, an Orthodox Yeshiva of Higher Learning, founded by Rabbi Avi Weiss of The Hebrew Institute of Riverdale.

Yeshivat Mahara”t (Manhiga Hilchatit Ruchanit Toranit) will train women to become Orthodox Spiritual Leaders– full members of the Rabbinic Clergy– in Synagogues, Schools, and on University Campuses.

Resumes and letter of interest should be emailed to Mahara”t Sara Hurwitz at sarahurwitz {at} yahoo(.)com, or call 718-796-4730, ext 107."

In case you're as dense as I am, this means that there is now officially an Orthodox school for women rabbis.

The JTA (Jewish Telegraph Agency) weighs in on this decision in "New program to train Orthodox women as non-rabbis".

For more on the school read "Jewess: More Info on Yeshivat Mahara"t".

Learning to Say No

I am learning my limitations. And accepting them. It sounds simple enough but for an overachiever who doesn’t quit until her body does, I’ve discovered a knack for never turning down a chance to overwork myself silly.

And yet, in the past few weeks, I have been turning down assignments. It’s like I’m in an alternate universe. People offer me jobs, money, and I’ve said no. No, I can’t because that would cripple me. No, I can’t because I can’t juggle anything else. No, I can’t because I just can’t.

Two things. First, okay, how come so many people are taking me seriously lately? This writing thing was just supposed to help me stop being depressed. It wasn’t supposed to take over my life. And the second, THIS IS SO COOL!

Okay, so I still can’t afford to get myself an Amazon Kindle. And it doesn’t help that I’ve bought every book I think will miraculously solve the mystery of why I can’t come up with an outline for my darn book. Plus, I’m still overworked and stretched in every direction: writing articles, writing books, amassing followers on Twitter, growing my little fan page and lastly (what should be #1 but isn’t), working on my health.

So I’ve still got a lot of work to do. But look how easy it rolls off the tongue. “No!” No, I can’t do that. No, it’s too much. No, please, no! This is going to come in handy.

A Guiding Light

My profile of Ari Hart and his work in Washington Heights was published in The Jerusalem Post. Check out the finished piece, "A Guiding Light" for updates on Hart's work with Uri L'Tzedek.

Alyssa Stanton, previously featured on this blog to much fanfare, will be the First black female rabbi to take N.C. pulpit".

Stanton’s ordination will provide young black Jewish Americans “with an important role model,” says Diane Tobin, associate director of the institute. “Hopefully over time they will see themselves reflected in the community.”

Check Me Out!

One of my pieces, "From Ghetto Girl to Rabbi's Wife" has made its debut on The Jewish Writing Project blog.

Be sure to check it out!

Question of the Week

I'm a big fan of Chabad's Question of the Week.

Last week's was: Why not make it easier to convert?


Question:

I often hear rabbis complain that the Jewish people are shrinking due to intermarriage and assimilation. But it is you rabbis who are the major obstacle to Judaism growing! If you would make conversion a bit easier, many more non-Jews would join us. Why do you stubbornly insist on a long and difficult conversion process, when you are closing the door to many potential converts?

Answer:

Because....

Y-Love Rarely Disappoints

Check out the newest video from Y-Love, aka Yitz Jordan, a man who wears many hats including Modern Orthodox rapper, Puerto Rican/Ethiopian hybrid, convert to Orthodox Judaism, notable blogger and influential Twitterer.

Check out his official website, then his blog "This is Babylon" and catch him on Twitter as @ylove. Y-Love was named #4 of JTA's 100 Most Influential Twitters. He is also part of 2009's Jewish Week list of "36 under 36."

Stupid Questions on Shabbat at Synagogue

"Are you part black?"

"Well, if you're part black then why is he (pointing to white Jew) darker than you?"

"Are you even Jewish?"

Oh yeah, I'm a Jew of color.



Responses to this blog have been posted by other Jews of color:

"How are you Jewish? Defending One's Jewish Identity" by Y-Love

"How are you Jewish? A Survival Guide for Jews of Color" by MixedJewGirl

A Jew of non-color?

What makes someone a Jew of color? When I recently met up with other Jews of color, I realized that I was the pastiest face in the room. I was the only one who could convincingly (and I have before) pass as just some tanned Ashkenazi or more likely, Sephardic girl.

Does that mean I'm not a Jew of color?

I suspect that mixed race people, who don't look "mixed" and are identified by looks as just one race, have asked themselves this question, too.

Despite the fact that I need to wear a lot of sunblock to prevent me from turning into a "redneck," I'm going to go out on a limb and say not only am I a mixed race Jew, I'm a Jew of color. I'm a brown Jew on the inside, even if I'm not a brown Jew on the outside.

Dead on Arrival

The Reform and the Conservative movements are dying. The Pope is not a demon. The Orthodox aren't ready for female rabbis. Homosexuals aren't welcome?

Um, did I embellish the points I took away from this profile of Yeshiva University chancellor Rabbi Norman Lamm, "Non-Orthodox Judaism disappearing"? I don't think so. What do you think?

And by the way, GULP! Whether or not his statements are true, I can't help but feel that they are solidly divisive. Do we need more divisions between Jews? More Jew-on-Jew hate?

In other news, readers posted some interesting reactions to this piece on Jewschool's post "Orthodox, FTW?".

Pope-in' it in Israel

As a former Catholic and now Orthodox Jewish convert, I should have something to say about the Pope visiting Israel. But as I said on Twitter, all I could summon forth was "Yawn." I'll go read the more of the news (yeah, I already know he didn't do so well on the Holocaust portion of this test) and see if I can cajole something more deeper. I'm not making any promises.

A self-titled Jewrican does stand-up....

As part of the Birthright Israel Next Monologues, Ruby Marez riffs about her upbringing in a Puerto Rican and Ashkenazi Jewish family in St. Louis.

Thanks for Interfaithfamily.com for this clip.

P.S. I think Jewrican isn't as cool as "Jewyorican" (Jew plus New York plus Puerto Rican) or "Jewricua" (Jew plus Boricua). I got these cool new terms from Twitter friends, @Jewyorican and @Yonitdm.

What Color is That Baby?

Why is it that when a pretty white girl dies everyone hears about it? Op-ed columnist Bob Herbert doesn't hold back in answering this question in "What Color is That Baby?" What do you think? I tell you, he's just saying what I've been thinking for a good long time and never had the heart or the courage to say out loud in front of a mixed audience.

Air Hugs for Everyone!

Remember this piece? Read more about my battle with fibromyalgia and how it was affected my life as a teacher, friend, sister, wife and Jew: "Air Hugs: Fibromyalgia and the Power of Touch"

Pain, Pain, Go Away...

When someone came up to me today and asked me about fibromyalgia, I thought it was pretty fitting. After all, today is National Fibromyalgia Awareness day. Why is there such a day? Well, most people, unless they suffer from it or have loved ones who suffer from it, have never heard of fibromyalgia. Some doctors don’t even believe fibromyalgia exists. The biggest PR campaign fibromyalgia has going is ads for prescription medications like Cymbalta and Lyrica, which have helped some sufferers cope with the chronic pain.


According to WebMD, fibromyalgia is a non-life-threatening, chronic disorder of the muscles and surrounding soft tissue, including ligaments and tendons. Its main symptoms are muscle pain, fatigue, sleep disturbances, and tender points at certain parts of the body. Many people describe fibromyalgia as feeling like a persistent flu. And while it sounds simple enough, that definition really doesn’t do the disorder justice.


First of all, it has nothing to do with inflammation, it’s not athrititis. Second of all, it’s incurable. If you’ve ever had to live with chronic pain, then imagine feeling it over 90% of your body and you’ll begin to understand what I live with every day. The pain is in my neck, upper back, shoulders, rib cage, lower back, things, wrists, arms, legs, butt and feet. It reaches up from my neck and into my face and jaw, my ears and even my nose.


As WebMD further describes the pain can feel anything like burning sensations to gnawing, throbbing, stabbing or aching pains. I am always in pain. 10 is the worst kind of pain. 1 is the dullest, manageable kind. Today, my pain level is at a 6. Thankfully, the weather is great (humidity causes flare-ups) and so far, the pain hasn’t interfered with work, social activities and the everyday tasks people take for granted.


When I was first diagnosed, it started as a toothache which I believed to be TMJ, a joint dysfunction of the jaw. The dentist sent me to a neurologist who diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. By that point, I had already seen several doctors, including two who told me the pain was in my head and that I was just suffering from depression. But the depression had only started when the pain began to limit my activities.


I needed help getting out of my clothes, tying my shoelaces, cutting my food, brushing my teeth, my hair, cooking, cleaning. I was working as a public high school teacher at the time when I lost the ability to write my name (too painful), could not handle loud noises (so I wore noise-cancelling headphones in class) and discovered that my skin was so sensitive to touch, it felt like it was on fire when people hugged me.


I had to quit teaching full-time. That really helped. I started working out, slowly by slowly gaining strength and muscle. I tried a variety of medications and different combinations of medications but nothing stuck except for a muscle relaxer and painkiller I take as necessary. Acupuncture helped but was an out-of-pocket expense I couldn’t maintain. Yoga works like a natural painkiller. Breathing exercises and working out to the point I raise my heart rate for 30 minutes a day help me cope. After a year of working with a rheumatologist, I was told there was nothing more than could be done, I had to learn to cope with it.


Learning to cope has meant trying to accept that I am not the person I once was. I do not have control over my body. It controls me. I schedule my life accordingly. I never know when the pain is going to rocket from 5 to 10 in seconds. I never know when a rainy day, too much activity or too little, will incapacitate me with exhaustion that feels like the flu. Sometimes I can sleep for 10-12 hours without feeling rested or I’ll be hit with a sudden case of insomnia. Other days, I wake up refreshed and energetic at dawn. I have to be careful because I know that if I don’t get the right amount of sleep, my pain levels rise.


While the pain has become more manageable since leaving teaching, I was barely able to hold down a part-time job as a tutor. When I was laid off from that position, I decided to take up writing. Even though typing always hurts and using speaking software hurts, too. Sure, I can tie my shoelaces but doing dishes, combing my hair, typing, cutting my food, holding a book, are sometimes impossible, overwhelming tasks. Traveling…by train, plane, car…it’s all exhausting.


Going to synagogue is like asking for trouble. Between the noise, the awful chairs, the sitting and standing, my poor motor control, I always end up in more pain that I was before. It’s hard to sit through Shabbat meals, to sit through anything for long periods, without ending up in more pain. This is especially hard considering that when you’re in a lot of pain, when you’re beyond exhaustion, the last thing you want to do is get up and move around.


My knees, wrists, arms, hands, ache chronically from sitting at the computer. I depend on my husband and younger sister for those everyday tasks that escape me. It has been crushing to go from being little Miss Independent to becoming dependent on the kindness and generosity of others to get by day by day.


The fatigue is almost as troubling as the pain. Some days will be good pain days, where the pain is dulled and manageable. And yet on most of those days, my body feels exhausted. I feel ready to collapse. I have a limited bank of energy and I am perpetually overdrawn. Going to see a movie at a theater can sap my energy. Hanging out with friends can, too. Talking on the phone and instant messaging are the bane of my existence, guaranteed to cause flare-ups.


I have been living with this for three years and I still get “but you don’t look sick.” Luckily, I have pretty much warned all my friends against touching me without asking for permission. Only close friends and family really understand what I live with everyday and even then, only other sufferers truly commiserate. A friend of mine says she lost her 20s to chronic pain. Her life, my life, has never been or will ever be the same. I feel often like a rickety old lady stamping my cane in frustration at the healthy people who don’t understand what I’m living with and constantly make totally unhelpful comments.


I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you’re not a doctor, I’m not taking your medical advice. If you’re not a fellow sufferer, I’m not taking going to take your coping advice either. I am not whiny. But if it seems that way, then it’s probably been an excruciating day. It’s not easy but I’m taking it one day at a time, trying to learn to take it easier, slower, and hoping that with God’s help modern medicine will someday make my life a little easier.


If you want to learn more about fibromyalgia, check out the National Fibromyalgia Association website.

Ay Carajo! Haitians and Dominicans Take to the Streets

(AP Photo/Ramon Espinosa)
Demonstrators damage a Dominican Republic's flag during a protest in Port-au-Prince, Friday, May 8, 2009. People hurled stones and tore down a sign at the Dominican Republic's consulate in Haiti to protest the decapitation slaying of a Haitian in Santo Domingo.

In America, Mexicans are the bottom of the food chain. Whether native born or not, they are treated like illegal aliens, reminded time after time again and again that they're taking away our jobs even when the only reason some of those jobs are available to them is that no self-respecting American is willing to do them. People try to pretend this hate of ALL Mexicans stems from the fact that some Mexicans are breaking the law to live here in America. But under all this is a thinly veiled contempt for all brown people. In a word, it's disgusting.

In the Dominican Republic, Haitians are the bottom of the food chain. Whether native born or not, they are treated like illegal aliens, reminded time after time again and again that they're taking taking away jobs...okay, so you get the drill? Not to mention that there's always been a lot of bad blood between Haiti and the Dominican Republic. Haiti took over DR once (or was it twice?) And it doesn't help that DR's own personal evil dictator, Trujillo once enacted his own personal genocide against Haitians in the Dominican Republic. He then calmly told Jews escaping the Holocaust that they should pack their bags and come right in.

If you're a dark-skinned black in the Dominican Republic, the backhanded joke people make is that you look like a Haitian. This is not a compliment. And no self-respecting Dominican owns up to the fact that they probably have some Haitian blood. Only Spanish blood is glorified after all. In a word, it's disgusting.

In this kind of climate, it's easy to see how things could get ugly real fast. And they did. According to Dominican Today and Latina magazine, a Haitian man, Carlos Nerilus was lynched and beheaded by an angry mob. This happened in a country just off the coast of Florida, off the coast of a country where a black president rules the roost. The crime was retribution against the Haitian national who had allegedly stabbed to death of his Dominican employer on the previous day.

Either way, I'm glad to live in a country where this kind of stuff no longer happens to black people. As a rule, Americans don't seem inclined to lynch and kill random black people or for that matter, suspected criminals. But there is plenty of news since Obama that reminds us that racially motivated attacks against Latinos are not all too infrequent occurrences.

Ode to Manny Ramirez

Dominicans are more than baseball players, I wrote on Twitter. But all the news articles that mentioned Dominicans, which Google Alerts kindly scoured the Internet for and compiled for me, seemed to say something different. The latest articles all focused on Manny Ramirez and how he recently confessed to using performance-enhancing drugs during some of his baseball games.

My hometown of Washington Heights, the Dominican ghetto Ramirez moved to from the Dominican Republic as a teen, is not a really happy place right now. Manny Ramirez was supposed to be a role model for our kids, kids like me growing up in Washington Heights who were worried they weren't going to get very far. Ramirez was supposed to show us that the American dream was possible, even for kids like us growing up in el barrio. If Manny could do it, we could do it. But Manny has let us down, so now what?

I don’t know who to lay the blame on right now. Who is at fault when the boys in the neighborhood grow up wanting to be like Manny instead of dreaming they’ll become the first Latino president of the United States or win the Pulitzer Prize like Junot Diaz? Why are our boys looking up to baseball players as their only role models? And why are the ones who can't hit a ball aspiring to be rap stars? Where does all this leave the aspirations of our girls?

No, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with baseball players, rap stars (and movie stars), they're people and like all people they are fallible, but I do worry about a culture that puts them on a pedestal and tells our kids to glorify them.

Getting Trekked Out

Hello, my name is Aliza and I am a Trekkie.


No, I have never been to a "Star Trek" convention (though I’ve wanted to go). No, I haven’t watched every single episode of every incarnation in the series. But I can tell a Tribble from a tricorder, though Newsweek was correct to claim that the new Star Trek film doesn’t even require that sort of knowledge from viewers.


I’m a Trekkie because I do get that sweet stirring of butterflies in my stomach when I hear the "Star Trek" theme song and as a kid, I stayed up late to watch just about every episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation." My mother and I were obsessed with the telenovela-like relationship between Deanna Troi and William Ryker. As an adult, I visited Star Trek: The Experience at the Hilton in Las Vegas and even dined at Quark's Bar.


So when my husband said he didn’t want to stay out late Saturday night to see the latest "Star Trek" movie, I got a little hysterical. There was no way I was going to miss seeing Star Trek on opening day (which for me now that I keep Shabbat is Saturdays, though I do often toy with taking in a Friday night matinee).

The minute Shabbat was over; we went into overdrive, driving to downtown Manhattan at warp speed to get to the 11pm IMAX showing at West 68th Street. We got there at 10:15pm and the showing was already sold out. (Do you have any idea how many seats are in an IMAX theater?) We settled for the IMAX-less 84th Street showing at 11pm instead. I figured if the film was really good, I’d see in on IMAX next time.


I wish I had waited for the IMAX. The special effects were amazing, jaw-dropping, invigorating! From the beginning, we were on a theme park thrill ride and I never once wanted to get off. It felt like going… home and oh man, did the nostalgia set in, as we hopped aboard to the first voyage of the USS Enterprise. Everything looked sleeker and shinier than I remembered it but I was warmed by returning to such familiar surroundings.


The film is a prequel of sorts. It focuses mostly on the origin stories of Jim Kirk (Chris Pine) and Spock (Heroes' Zachary Quinto), chronicling their stories from childhood in parallel vignettes until adulthood when the two finally meet and butt heads at Starfleet.

In the film, Kirk’s a little self-destructive, a product of being raised without the father who is killed in the opening credits by the film’s big bad, Nero (Eric Bana). And Spock is “a child of two worlds,” never truly comfortable on Vulcan, his father’s home, or on Earth, his mother’s. They’re wrapped up in their own problems until the maiden voyage of the U.S.S. Enterprise, which Kirk sneaks onto, makes them each other’s problem.

The film is as much about these two epic characters as it is about the supporting characters who round out the crew. Dr. Leonard McCoy (Karl Urban), who becomes Kirk’s pal early on, is a nervous fellow who says his wife “divorced me and took the whole planet.” Montgomery Scott (Simon Pegg) is a Scottish brute genius. Hikaru Sulu (John Cho) seems like a fragile flower until he whips out a can of whoop-ass on some adversaries he’s battling back-to-back with Kirk.


Pavel Chekov (Anton Yelchin) earns many laughs by talking himself tongue-tied with an impossibly funny Russian accent. Oh and Uhura is a sexy, sultry drink of water who won’t let that get in the way of all these men taking her seriously. It’s just a perk that Uhura is played by pura Dominicana Zoe Saldana. But why, oh why, did Winona Ryder steal the role of Spock’s mom from the little old ladies with real wrinkles that could have taken on the role?


I must have seen the original "Star Trek" episodes, though I remember little of them. And the film banks on sneaking in all those little unforgettable lines that true Trekkies love. I don’t remember hearing “Beam me up, Scotty,” but there were plenty of other juicy lines. That all these classic quips dovetailed so neatly with the film’s dialogue, inducing plenty of laughter from the audience with not a cringe in sight, proves that someone invested as much in the dialogue as in the special effects. This should not go unappreciated after considering the schlock that rolled onto the screen before the opening credits of "Star Trek": the awful and LOUD, bombs-bursting-in-air clips from mega-blockbusters like G.I. Joe and the next Transformers.


Did I mention that "Star Trek" is fun? Just so fun! Not only was my heart rate was rising from all the action packed in, I was on an emotional rollercoaster from the special moments of character development that cast Jim, Spock and the crew in a new light. "Star Trek" serves as a reminder that Hollywood isn’t just mining the old stuff because it’s lazy. Thanks to this fresh focus on "Star Trek," new generations who come fresh will be anticipating the next film incarnation just as eagerly as old diehard fans will.


And the focus is really fresh. There is even a time warp subplot that will explain away continuity issues and perhaps, let fans once again boldly go where no man has gone before. But lest we forget where it all started, there is an awesome cameo appearance from one original (Jewish) cast member that will leave audiences cheering.



Listen to NPR talking about the new film: "Star Trek": That Final Frontier, Boldly Reapproached

Spelling Circles Round Y'all

I know it’s shocking to some people that I can speak such good English. I mean, it’s not like it’s my first language or anything. It’s not like my parents, who both came to the States as children, were fluent in English or anything. I mean, really, it’s not like I read the classics for kicks as a kid. Ahem, you know what I’m saying?

So then it should be no surprise to anyone that one smart little Dominican girl’s kicking butt as spelling bee champion. Go, Yulkendy, go (man, us Dominicans and our names!)! But it might be a surprise to learn that this girl’s not a native. She came to the US four years ago speaking no English! I know there are those of you that might be TV haters but this kid claims to have picked up the language reading tons of books and watching tons of American TV.

Read more about this small wonder, who was recently named "Immigrant of the Day" according to Dominican Today, in “Dominican Girl, 14, Set to Compete in Scripps National Spelling Bee”. This will certainly be news to people who still fondly refer to Dominicans as "dumb-in-a-can."

One woman, eight hilarious characters

Wow. What a speech. Quite a character this Sarah Jones. No idea what TED is (and too exhausted to look after all this rainy weather wearing down my aching bones) but her impressions of everyone from an opinionated elderly Jewish woman to a fast-talking Dominican college student (both dead on!) were incredible.

Seriously, people?

Few people seem to take me seriously.

I guess it doesn’t help that a lot of the time, I don’t take myself seriously. I rarely answer the question, “So what do you do?” In fact, I avoid it at all costs. Because people give you rather smug smiles when you say you’re writing a book.

“Oh, you’re writing a book?” they say with their eyes glazing over in high-pitched, condescending voices. The one time I responded by saying I had a publisher for said book, I watched the other person’s eyes pop with interest. Suddenly, I was interesting. But I was no longer interested in talking to her.

Don’t even get me started on what happens if you tell people you write a blog. “Oh, you write a ‘little’ blog?” A LITTLE BLOG? Sometimes, I want to guilt them and say, “Actually, I’m too disabled to work full-time. I’m in pain 24-7. And when it rains, I want to crawl in a hole and die.” But I said something like this once to someone and they almost cried. I don’t, generally, like to make people cry.

That’s why when I tell people, my blog has led to many writing opportunities and even public speaking and then of course, (people who don’t know me) ask me what I talk about on speaking engagements, I say “myself.” When I say this, I get a look that says “Okay, narcissist” but should I really tell someone I’ve just met my whole life story? Maybe, I should tell them to go read my little blog and find out.

Lately, people patronize me most by treating me like a little kid who doesn’t know anything because I don’t have kids (or thankfully, a gray hair on my head).

I wonder, sometimes, if I should regal these people with stories about co-parenting my younger sisters: changing diapers, then potty training them, staying up for countless sleepless nights when they cried because my mother locked them out of her room, making meals every day since I was 10, eventually kidnapping them and then fighting for custody of one sister for three long years while I worked two to three jobs to support her until I crippled myself and converted to Orthodox Judaism in the same year.

Don’t let the wrinkle-free skin fool you, I want to say, I have lived.

Please, please, think of me the next time you want to treat some poor unsuspecting person like an infant who just got out of diapers and has led a very sheltered life. I warrant that since you haven’t walked a day in their shoes, you have no idea what kinds of shocking stories lie behind a youthful, otherwise calm-looking, veneer.

Well, at least, the JTA (Jewish Telegraph Agency) takes me seriously. This past week, they named me #9 out of 100 Most Influential Twitterers. Thank you, thank you! But, of course, most people don’t take Twitter seriously so this makes no one (except other Twitterers) take me more seriously.

Maybe it’s time to grow some gray hair?

Whatever happened...

to Mayim Bialik? Remember her starring on that '80s show, Blossom? Well, in case you missed my Tweet about it, read this Jewcy.com article on how Mayim feels about acting, motherhood and being an observant Jew: "From Blossom to Brachot".

Good Mother, Bad Mother, Not Yet a Mother

While all of my closest friends are repopulating the Earth, I am hesitant. There are so many reasons to be. My husband’s still in school. We can’t support ourselves much less a child (how did my mother do it on welfare?). Also, ug, getting pregnant means forgoing possibly every medication that helps keep my fibromyalgia and depression in check. There’s a lot to do before we start setting up a crib…maybe, even just finding room for one. And please, guys, don't inundate me with totally unrealistic advice to "Just do it."

All of these reasons are, however, minuscule compared to a heavier issue. What kind of mother does the child of my mother become? What kind of mother does an adult survivor of child abuse become? Can you believe people have told me to my face that they worry I will beat my kids into depression? All this because I said I wouldn’t think twice before slapping a kid’s wrist over a tantrum. I didn’t even mention that growing up throwing a tantrum (yeah, right, like I would be alive if I’d ever had one) meant a beating (telephone cords, belts, sandals, pick your poison) and the possibility of early death.

This is probably why I’m interested in stories about families. Like Rebecca Walker, I’m kind of obsessed with them. When my friends all started getting pregnant, I started reading books about motherhood for purely selfish reasons. Rebecca Walker (whose father is Jewish and relationship with her famous author mom Alice Walker is tumultuous) got pregnant, wrote a book about it and then went out and edited a whole collection of stories about all different kinds of family, “One Big Happy Family: 18 Writers Talk About Polyamory, Open Adoption, Mixed Marriage, Househusbandry, Single Motherhood, and Other Realities of Truly Modern Love.” Some of us are obviously more ambitious than others.

Now, Jewish author Ayelet Waldman (wife of Pulitzer Prize winner Michael Chabon) has gone and put a whole new spin on things by writing a book called, “Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace.” I think that if my sister can get me a Mother’s Day card (for kidnapping her, raising her and you know, saving her life), then I can buy myself a Mother’s Day present. (By the way, do you think this means she forgives me for all the time I was a bad mother?) Anyway, I know just what to get myself.

Check out Ayelet Waldman reading the first chapter of "Bad Mother."

Now, I'll bet you've got some great stories about being a bad mother!

Who is a Jew?

In the rush to write a great book about my crazy life and my ultimate conversion to Orthodox Judaism, I have read many, many books by other converts. I've read stories of Orthodox, Conservative and Reform converts. I've even met and befriended these converts from all different streams of Judaism. This has given me a great deal of respect for all converts. For despite whatever brand of Judaism we have chosen, we are bound together by a great love of Judaism.

But "Rabbis Searching For Common Ground" minces no words when it talks about one of the biggest questions in Judaism, "Who is a Jew?" and how the search for the right answer is fought on the backs of current and prospective converts. (The question alone brings up 39 million results on Google.) The Jewish Week article talks about a recent panel at the JCC Manhattan that featured Orthodox, Conservative and Reform rabbis searching for, as the title states, common ground in conversion standards.

I missed the panel but I got an earful from a convert who attended. The whole event left a bad taste in her mouth. Certainly, the Orthodox had (finally, some will say) joined in on a conversation that has been ongoing between Conservative and Reform rabbis but in the end, this conversation, as it did that night, leads nowhere. My friend put it best when she said the Orthodox were moving to the right, the Conservative to the left, and the Reform...can't remember what else she said but it wasn't pretty. Basically, the Jewish world is shifting and in this climate, all converts are worried about their status. When Orthodox rabbis don't trust other Orthodox rabbis, why would they trust Reform colleagues?

Conversation, though, is better than baseless hatred. Hatred is what I see when I hear Orthodox folks making fun of Conservative folks, Conservative folks making fun of Reform and so on and so on. No one is safe. It's a Jew on Jew free for all. At least, this panel moved us away from throwing blows and maybe towards acting like civilized members of the same family. Maybe that's the best we can hope for?

Bless you!

Fellow Latina Jewish artist Maya Escobar, who has been featured on this blog before, recognized her own when she decided to feature Vanessa Hidary, the Hebrew Mamita, on her own blog.

The YouTube video below is the Jewess's riff on "Ga Bless You Ma." For those of you innocents, this is a common enough phrase slung at female passerby by tigueritos hanging out on the street corners of Washington Heights and other New York City 'hoods. And just in case you think I can't spell, there's nothing religious about the phrase...at least not when you say it like that.

You might want to prepare for the video by rereading my earlier blog posts, "Hispanic Woman Walking" and "My Mother Wore Tight Pants".




To check out some of Guatamelan Jewess Maya Escobar doing performance art, watch a compilation mix below. It's a mixture of different gutsy pieces that have a heck of a lot to say about Latinas, Jewesses and all womankind in today's society.

The Thrills and Chills of Pondering Day School Education

Another regular day in the Yeshiva of Hogwarts....

I live in my own little bubble. For the most part, my close friends are in their 20s. They are either starting their families or have infants and I’m hoping that they didn’t read “Applying for Day School Aid: A Degrading Experience” in Jewish Week. (I’m still catching up on my reading from when I was away for Pesach.) I talked the article up, which is about the process of applying for financial aid in Jewish day schools, at my Shabbos afternoon meal and my friend retorted, “The price of tuition at day schools is the best form of birth control.” After reading the current price of Manhattan nursery schools, I agree.

Unless I finish my book and get picked up by Oprah (I can dream!), I can’t fathom paying thousands of dollars in private school tuition. That’s probably why the RCA (Rabbinical Council of America) now makes people sign on the dotted line to agree to this kind of stuff when they convert their adopted children. I thought this was all fine and good but no one ever sat me down and said, “You will be paying what used to be your entire salary for a year so your cute Jewish kid can go to a nice Jewish school.” My Twitter friend assures me that this is just another "test of faith". Like me, he can't afford (but is somehow financing) the dream of day school. I thought when I suspected Judaism would make me broke that I was just exaggerating.

So my other friend says, “What about public schools?” I went to public schools in New York City. It was terrible (save for some great, inspiring teachers) and it wasn’t until I made it to an art high school in Manhattan that I stopped hating it and that was only because I discovered Advance Placement English, which was heaven. I was often bored in class. I was often ahead of my classmates. And I often felt like my teachers were teaching to the bottom 10% and leaving the top 10% behind. When I went to a private university and discovered classes where professors taught to only a handful of students, I almost keeled over and died. When I later taught in public schools, I discovered I almost always loved the kids (until I almost killed them sometimes) but not the system.

But hey, at least in public schools, I know that people are qualified to teach me kid. Mostly. It worries me when I hear about people teaching in day schools without actually having education degrees. Look, some people are born teachers. Any amount of education about teaching is just going to enhance their natural gifts. But this is not the case for everyone so why aren’t all day school teachers qualified to teach my kids if I’m paying thousands upon thousands of dollars to make sure they get a quality education. It's one thing to know what you're talking about and quite another thing to know how to actually teach it. (That's what I learned from my Master's in Education, I think.)

All this talk reminds me of a Shabbat I spent in Teaneck where a mostly forty-something, wealthy crowd talked about day schools while I watched idly from my bubble. I remember thinking why are all these people with money so worried about the cost of day school? But right then, I didn’t actually know the cost of day school or think about what it meant to pay that out times four or five or six or more kids. Hence, getting back to my first friend’s argument in defense of birth control because it’s much cheaper though not as cute and cuddly, you know what I’m saying. This is not a good thing for the Jewish people.

So now that I’m actually thinking about kids (when am I not?), the dream of sending them to fancy Jewish day schools so they can be proper frum yidden (observant Jews) is…precarious. The Jewish Week article makes it sound like I’ll never be able to afford send my kids to day school, visit my relatives in the Dominican Republic (“because if you can afford to take vacations like that, why do we have to give you financial aid?”), let my in-laws retire without financing their grandchildren’s education and survive the financial aid process with my self-esteem intact.

Hmm, so what have you heard about homeschooling? And can I get an "Oy vey"?