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Saturday, January 31, 2009

They say all dogs go to heaven


My friend Ari and I were having a conversation about surviving, living and dying.

Ari: After reading those facts about you that you listed and all that you have been through, I don’t know how you stay sane.

Aliza: Who says I am sane?

Ari: That’s a good point.

Aliza: I haven’t been committed so I am doing okay. But it’s hard. You can’t survive so much without scars.

Ari: Is that the measuring stick? If you haven’t been commited then you are okay? I guess that means I’m okay but I don’t feel okay and that’s the problem.

Aliza: Me either. Maybe we don’t even have to be okay. Maybe we just have to make it through the day and that’s okay.

Ari: You’re lucky cause you didn’t grow up with all the Jewish guilt. In that way I envy you. You came to the religion with a more mature and healthy approach cause you did it as an adult.

Aliza: Ari, you are so crazy, boy! You ain’t heard of Catholic guilt?

Ari: Don’t know so much about it.

Aliza: I use that AND Jewish guilt on myself all the time. Oh boy, the Catholics. All screwed up about sex and confession and getting into heaven.

Ari: I hear you. Well, I guess you’re not going since you converted. Anyways, I hear heaven is overrated.

Aliza: Yes, a friend confirmed it for me. She’s Christian. I’m definitely going to hell.

Ari: So I will probably see you there then. I hope we get good seats. But I hear it’s separate seating so that might be a problem.

Motherland's Calling and it's a Conference Call



Everyone said Israel would feel different. That's what everyone kept telling me when I decided to venture out there in 2006. But when I got off cranky and in pain from the long flight, I didn't feel anything except crankiness and pain. They told me to go stand by a wall and that would help me FEEL it. I didn't even know what kind of wall they were talking about. They all looked the same to me.



But it's true. Once the jet lag stopped having its way with me and the water had tragically finished evisorating me and my need to say Asher Yotzar, I felt something. But I wasn't even Jewish yet. I was a girl with roots on the other side of the world somewhere on a tiny little island nation (you pick, Manhattan? Dominican Republic?) and I felt it. It was in the air. The sun. The atmosphere. In the rugelach that melted in my mouth. In the constant barrage of Shabbat meal invitations.

It was astounding to feel more connected to a country in the Middle East than I had ever felt for America (maybe it's because people keep questioning my Americanness). It was something like the connection I feel to the Dominican Republic. But it was very different. Now what's a girl like me doing with three homelands?

I just finished reading Leil Leibovitz's "Aliyah: Three Generations of American-Jewish Immigration to Israel". I read it in two sittings. Blah, blah, blah, couldn't put it down. And I didn't except the tearjerking words after. If you've ever thought of aliyah, you might want to check out the book and this: Allison Speiser's food for thought.

Can you be a color and a ghost?

So I just received my "Commemorative Inaugural Edition" of Newsweek. Listen, I have nothing against Barack Obama but the dude even made it to the cover of my Entertainment Weekly! Fo' shame.

Meanwhile, I decided I'd give the issue a try anyway. I slipped past the first couple of pages and finally turned the magazine over to skim the pages in the back. This is a bad habit I have picked up from my husband by the way who loves to skim random pages in a book before he purchases it.

So who did I find in the back of my "Commemorative Inaugural Edition" of Newsweek? No, I mean BESIDES Barack Obama. Well, none of other than my Dominican brotha (could be, I mean we have the same last name...) JUNOT DIAZ!!!

Here's what Mr. Diaz had to say about the inauguration:


But here's what I'm thinking: if all things go as they should (fingers crossed), Obama will be these children's president until they are 10 years old. They will grow up with a black president as their commonplace. I grew up in an America that didn't reflect me at all, where I was therefore a ghost. How that affected my psyche and my self of self there is no telling. [These children], though, will grow up in a world where the most powerful man reflects them back, at least in part. This might mean nothing. It might mean everything. But for the first time in human history we'll have a chance to find out.



Thursday, January 29, 2009

Another Voice for Jews of Color

Yavilah McCoy, just another Jew of Color


Contrary to popular belief, I'm not the only Jew of Color in the world, even if I happen to be the only Jew of Color many of my friends know or come in contact with on a daily basis. Every now and again, it's nice to lay down the mantle and let someone else fight the good fight for representation. So it was just incredible to stumble upon an article in The Forward that showcased another voice for Jews of color.

Check out:

"A Voice for Jews of Color: Yavilah McCoy Advocates for Jewish Multiculturalism"


I ♥ Bechol Lashon


I love my latest Bechol Lashon newsletter!


If you’re a Jew of color or a Jew interested in diversity, you should check it out!


The latest newsletter includes an article that takes a look at how and why Israeli doctors are teaching Africans to perform circumcision to help fight AIDS in Africa. There’s also an article about Obama's inauguration from Julius Lester, an African-American convert to Judaism who wrote the incredible memoir, “Lovesong.” And you'll always find a piece that ensures that you never forget that the Jewish people are made up of more than white faces.


The newsletter includes various sections on current news, identity, communities around the world, events and arts and culture.

25 Random Things About Me

I hate forwarded emails with a passion. I’m already crippling myself by being on the computer and it just pisses me off when I have to look at stupid stuff unexpectedly.

So it’s really surprising how taken I have been with a “forward” of sorts that’s been going around Facebook. Many of my friends have posted lists of 25 random things about themselves. The lists run the gamut from hilarious to thought-provoking to inspiring and downright heartrending.

One blog reader commented when meeting me in person that it was totally weird because he knew all this stuff about me but I didn’t know anything about him! Well, I’m totally going to up the ante now and post my 25 random things and see if I can still surprise any of you.

-----------------------------------
1. I stopped speaking to my Dad at age 11 and didn't talk to him again until I was 21. (I found him after my aunt kicked me out of her apartment and forced me to look for places on my own. I went to look at an apartment share with a friend who warned me not to move in with the shady guy. I didn’t but in the building, I was hit by deja vu. I realized my cousins who I hadn’t seen since I was 15 lived in the building. I knocked on a random door and I found them. They led me to an aunt in the neighborhood who I hadn’t seen since I was 2 and she called me father.)

2. I haven't spoken to my mother in 10 years. I celebrated the 10th year anniversary of this occasion this past summer in Los Angeles.

3. I was almost arrested for kidnapping my 14-year-old sister.

4. I fought my mother for custody of my sister in a three-year court battle.

5. My favorite color always has been blue. (Sadly, it’s one of the few things my father knows about me outside of my birthday.)

6. One year I watched almost every Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen movie ever made.

7. I don't have cable but I have an HD-TV. (Thanks Bubbie Irene!)

8. My little sister is my best friend.

9. I wish I was good at science or math, not writing.

10. I have fibromyalgia so I'm in chronic pain every day and almost no one knows anything about it. I still have friends who don’t understand why I don’t call them as much, if at all, and why I don’t hang out as much, if at all, as I used to do.

11. I changed my name legally to Aliza Moriah Ben-Tzion. (If you go into my writing portfolio, you can find articles written in my old name. This includes the tale of visiting my father after our nearly 10-year estrangement and the story of kidnapping my sister.)

12. My high school students used to call me "Drop it Like It's Hot" Diaz after they saw me dance at a school event. Too many students asked me out after that one. Never dance in front of teenage boys!

13. I ran away from home at 17 and never went back. I have said many times that I never had a real childhood.

14. I don't drink alcohol ever.

15. My mother took me to a witch doctor to try to cure my allergies. (It didn’t work. But I believed her and I thought I was cured and got cats as an adult. Bad move. Now I can’t get within one foot of a cat—or dogs--without becoming asthmatic.)

16. When I was little, I hated visiting family in Santiago--flying cockroaches and outdoor latrines!

17. I met my husband at a party in Washington Heights, which I had said before I would NEVER return to visit.

18. I am two years younger than my husband. I wish it was the reverse especially for the purposes of baby making.

19. I used to get teased as a kid a lot. I got called "white girl" and "Leader of the Nerd Patrol." I still have an uncanny ability to attract people who have abusive tendencies.

20. I didn't kiss a boy until I was 17 and he was my first boyfriend. He came out of the closet after dating me. I coped with much needed therapy.

21. Going to Italy in early January was the first time I went to Europe. Going to Israel in 2006 was the first tme I'd ever been out of the US (visiting the Dominican Republic doesn't count!).

22. When I'm really bored (i.e., overwhelmed from all the reading I have to do), I sometimes catch episodes of "Gossip Girl."

23. When I was little, I wanted to be Superman. As I got older, I fell in love with him. I have watched ever single episode of “Smallville” no matter how cheesy. I am diehard fan of superhero films.

24. I am the oldest of about 10 siblings--2 full siblings and 7 half-siblings.

25. People always think I look younger and weigh less than I really do: I am turning 29 this year and I weight 142 lbs. I wish I was turning 25 and weighed 120 lbs.

I'd love to hear you post some random things about you! You don't have to go for the full 25!

I ♥ Ari Hart

I just finished writing rewriting this article for a Jewish writing class and I can't bear that I don't know when, if ever, it will see the light of day. So, I'm hoping some of you speed readers will give it a second chance and let me know what you think.

Redefining Community:

Ari Hart Builds a Better Neighborhood


Ari Hart doesn’t like the glare of the spotlight. And he’s equally troubled by undue praise—he doesn’t want anyone mistaking him for a saint. Lucky for Mr. Hart, there’s plenty to be done behind the scenes at Uri L’Tzedek, the New York-based social justice organization. As co-director, Ari Hart is working to change the way the Orthodox Jewish community views social justice activism. But Mr. Hart isn’t the face of Uri L’Tzedek and that’s just the way he likes it.


So, it’s no surprise to find twenty-six-year-old Ari Hart in the back of the room during an Uri L’Tzedek event. Mr. Hart looks on while Lead Professional, Rabbi Ari Weiss and other equally youthful volunteer activists role-play through skits. Thirty young Jews have turned out on one chilly afternoon to learn more about Tav HaYosher, or ethical seal in Hebrew, a local, grassroots initiative to bring workers, restaurant owners and community members together to create just workplaces in kosher restaurants. At Uri L’Tzedek, Mr. Hart is one among many fresh faces at the helm. Shmuly Yanklowitz, the twenty-something co-founder and Director of Uri L’Tzedek, was recently featured in a New York Times article after speaking about Tav HaYosher at Yeshiva University. The Tav HaYosher initiative marks a sharp detour from the organization’s more controversial boycott of Agriprocessors, the Iowa slaughterhouse and meat-packaging factory currently under federal investigation, a move that made Uri L’Tzedek infamous in some Jewish circles.


So while Yanklowitz and Weiss continue to represent the public face of Uri L’Tzedek in the media, Hart is more comfortable as one of the brains behind the whole operation. What’s more as Uri L’Tzedek, which bills itself as a “social justice movement,” expands its reach beyond New York City to captivate the hearts and minds of Jewish college students and young professionals all over the United States, Mr. Hart has become an integral part of how the organization effects change closer to home, particularly in his own Washington Heights neighborhood.


But why does a guy from Biloxi, Mississippi care so much about Washington Heights?


Ari Hart was frustrated by the way the Orthodox community interacted with the rest of the Washington Heights community. “I realized really quickly that there were very few if any institutional relationships,” Mr. Hart said of living in Washington Heights, where he moved over a year ago to begin attending the rabbinical school, Yeshivat Chovevei Torah, a Manhattan-based open Orthodox institution founded by social justice activist Rabbi Avi Weiss. “No one I knew actually knew anyone in the community outside the Jewish community. People were saying racist things about ‘the Puerto Ricans in the neighborhood’ [at the Shabbos table]. I was like, oh man, they’re not even Puerto Rican! There was just so much ignorance and racism.”


The chasm between the Orthodox Jewish community and the greater, mostly Dominican, Washington Heights community was chronicled in “New Voices,” a Jewish student magazine, in 2005. “The separation between YU and the rest of Washington Heights is blatant,” said Yeshiva University sophomore Joshua Balderman. He added that interactions between the two communities often take on a negative hue. Balderman shuttered his own YU Community Club, a club that planned to enact several social justice initiatives in the local community, due to lack of interest.


The “New Voices” article painted a somewhat bleak picture of community relations. It chronicled muggings in the university area and a Purim video in which local Hispanic students were filmed yelling, “YU sucks!,” as a caption below read “Future Beren Campus Security Guards.” Given that kind of climate, Balderman had hoped to pursue true cooperation, not just tolerance. Despite “major cultural and language barriers,” Balderman said he believed that “work[ing] together these communities could both be affected in a positive way.”


Where young Balderman failed, Ari Hart has flourished. It certainly helps that when Mr. Hart decided to change the face of Washington Heights, it was not his first venture in social justice activism. When Hart moved to Washington Heights with a degree in Music Theory and Composition from Grinnell College under his belt, he was just picking up where he’d left off in Chicago.


But wait, how does someone make the leap from majoring in Music to community organizing?


“Music is universal. It’s a language everyone speaks. All music is built on the same things but it’s expressed in so many different ways,” Mr. Hart said. Music theory analyzes the building blocks of music and how music functions. As a Music Theory major, Mr. Hart took different types of music, from chord progressions in rock and roll to sampling in hip hop, and isolated the areas where they diverged and connected. “I took old things and used them in a different way, tried to find the differences and what makes things similar.” This way of looking at music was rooted deeply in the way Hart already looked at the world.


At a young age, bounced between Spanish preschool in Madrid and religious and public schools in the States because of his father’s Air Force job, Ari Hart honed a curiosity for “different people and places and learning how different systems function and how people work together or do not work together.” Engrossed by trying to find the commonalities within the diversity he was exposed to, Mr. Hart learned: “It’s possible to move between different social spheres. The barriers between people aren’t as big as people think they are. It’s possible to change, to move, to be different. It’s possible to be who you are and retain a sense of self and do that in wildly different places with wildly different people.”


By age 23, Ari Hart was in Chicago working as an advocate for abused and neglected children in Cook County as part of Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA). At age 24, he won a Nadiv Social Justice Fellowship through the Jewish Council on Urban Affairs. The next year Mr. Hart launched Or Tzedek, the Teen Institute for Social Justice, where he worked with teens whose backgrounds ran across the broad Jewish spectrum, from unaffiliated to Orthodox. He resigned as director when he decided to come to New York to pursue his rabbinical degree at Yeshivat Chovevei Torah, where he has since been awarded the 2008 Herbert Lieberman Award for Community Service.


Given his previous background in social justice activism, Ari Hart came to the Washington Heights community prepared. But some might argue his goals are lofty. Mr. Hart said: “One thing I’m particularly interested in is relationships between the Orthodox community and broader communities and mobilizing the Orthodox community to act beyond narrowly defined self-interest and to be partners in the improvement of society for everyone, including the Orthodox community, not only for people outside, for everybody together.”


Mr. Hart explored this idea further in a telling transcript of a speech he gave on racism that can be found on the Uri L’Tzedek website: “[On Passover,] we are instructed to view ourselves in a position of opportunity and freedom, eager to share our meals with others, eager to share our liberation with those still oppressed. At the same time, we are to view ourselves as if we ourselves were slaves, as if we ourselves were oppressed. This Pesach, as we enjoy our freedom and many blessings, we must not forget our responsibility, and our unique ability to fight for those who are still being enslaved, whether it be by human trafficking, poverty, treatable disease, prejudice, religious persecution or any other form of oppression.”


Ari Hart quoted Martin Luther King, “All too often the religious community has been a taillight instead of a headlight.” The quote can easily be seen as passing judgment on the role of the conservative Orthodox Jewish community in social justice activism. The insular Orthodox Jewish community’s emphasis on tzedekah that is directed mostly internally has historically been eclipsed in the realm of social justice by its more liberal Jewish counterparts, and how the Reform and Conservative movements have broadly applied Jewish teachings on social justice. Mr. Hart continued: “The Jewish people have been a headlight for thousands of years. May Hashem bless us this Pesach that we merit to continue to spread the light of righteousness and justice across the world.”


Right, but some would still argue, why should a Jewish organization concern itself with non-Jews?


“It’s very clear in the Torah that we have to look out for the ger [the stranger], because we were strangers in a strange land and therefore, when there is a stranger in our midst, we have a responsibility to support and protect those who are weak and vulnerable,” Mr. Hart said. But what does this look like in practical terms in Washington Heights?


“A big part is civic engagement and civic action and addressing common problems and finding common solutions and building relationships and partnerships. I began doing that work on my own in Washington Heights, when I first moved there,” Mr. Hart said. “I just started meeting different religious leaders and community activists [in the community] and trying to find out what was going on in the neighborhood, what some of the issues were, what people were working on and also trying to build a group of people in the community who are also interested in working on that as well. I got hooked up with Uri L’Tzedek and they were like that’s great, we should do something together.”


Upon his arrival in Washington Heights, Ari Hart pursued a number of social justice projects before taking things to the next level. He began by becoming a member of the local community board. And last year, Mr. Hart and Uri L’Tzedek collaborated with several Washington Heights organizations on a clothing drive.


“The twist to the clothing drive was that it wasn’t just the Jewish community donating clothes to the Dominican community or to some other community, it was a lot of different groups coming together as a community. We had churches collecting clothes and Jewish people collecting clothes. And it wasn’t just the Dominican community [that benefited], there’s also the broader community, other people in the community, there’s also white people—” Mr. Hart began.


There are white people in Washington Heights? Yes, though, the community, which spans from about 158th St to Dyckman Street, is predominately Dominican (and Jewish in some parts), hot housing prices in Upper Manhattan have brought in an infusion of yuppies from lower Manhattan.


“Yes, there are white folk!” Ari joked before he continued. “We wanted to do a project together. We wanted to bring people together to do something that was positive. It was new and exciting and fun. The process was the purpose. The process of bringing people together and learning about the different organizations in the community, learning about the different services people provide, and having people interact and plan and work.”


Spearheading the process as an Uri L’Tzedek representative, Ari Hart united Alianza Dominicana with other local organizations, including a church and a youth program, to work on local initiatives. Uri L’Tzedek volunteered their people to help Alianza Dominicana coordinate a health fair for disadvantaged women. Then Fort Washington Collegiate Church was brought in to donate clothing for the Alianza Dominicana program. Finally, Fresh Youth Initiatives (FYI), an organization based in Washington Heights that organizes youth to perform service projects around the community, joined by offering, among other things, manpower.


“So it was a lot of finding all these groups and people and becoming the glue linking people together and creating this thing out of all these programs that already existed,” Mr. Hart said. “Honestly the clothing drive itself didn’t really matter.”


Michal Brickman believes Mr. Hart is playing down the impact of the clothing drive. Ms. Brickman is an Uri L’Tzedek volunteer who worked with Hart on the clothing drive and other projects aimed to support the Washington Heights community as a whole. “The initial goal of the drive was to help alleviate a shortage of clothing at a New York psychiatric facility,” Ms. Brickman said. “But the project quickly grew and the drive ultimately succeeded in collecting enough clothing not only for donation to the psychiatric facility but also to three local community organizations in Washington Heights and to a woman in the neighborhood who lost her belongings in an apartment fire.”


Ari Hart does not gloss over the impact that working with FYI teens has had on him. Last March, Uri L’Tzedek joined teens from FYI on a project dubbed ‘The Traveling Clothing Bank.’ FYI teens collected clothing for the project, a clothing drive, and then handed them out in the neighborhood at a weekly event. A lot of the clothes end up traveling from Washington Heights to the Dominican Republic. Mr. Hart organized Uri L’Tzedek volunteers to help out at this FYI event but first, he coordinated a program where the mostly Jewish members of Uri L’Tzedek hung out with the mostly Dominican teens from FYI.


“It was a really profound thing. I live in this community. I’m here every day but I have no interaction with these people. And they’re really cool. They want to make the community better and I want to make the community better,” Mr. Hart said. “People found it very meaningful.”


Carlos Cepeda, a group leader at FYI, agreed.


“At first, I didn’t know what to expect. We come from two different cultures. But after
talking to Ari on the phone, he came across as a really nice guy who’s really concerned about young people and community. I realized that we had a lot in common,” Mr. Cepeda said. “We genuinely care about helping people. Regardless of what race they might be, we want to help.”


Mr. Cepeda believes that working with Ari and the Uri L’Tzedek team has been an illuminating experience for “his kids.”


“Unfortunately there are certain stereotypes that exist in our community. In the Latino community, there’s a stereotype that Jews keep to themselves, are not very social and very cheap. I’m really glad my kids got to meet Ari,” Mr. Cepeda said. “Ari came across as only Ari can. He completely abolished all those thoughts. A lot of the kids said, you know, this is the first Jewish person I got to meet and hang out with, and he’s a great guy. He broke a lot of those stereotypes that some of our kids have.”


After working together on the Traveling Clothing Bank project, Uri L’Tzedek and FYI partnered together on another initiative. Teens from FYI joined Jewish teens from an organization in Queens called The Lounge in some community building activities.


“At the core, good people are good people and we all share more in common than we have differences. We need to know more about each other to break down these stereotypes. We had a kind of cultural exchange,” Mr. Cepeda said. “They brought typical Jewish cuisine and our kids ate from it. We brought our music. We played our music and spent a good half-hour showing each other how to dance. Even though we’re different and we don’t really know each other, this was a time where we reached out to each other and got to know each other as human beings.” A little merengue music and a side of gefilte fish can apparently go a long way towards alleviating the tension between the Dominican and Jewish communities of Washington Heights.


Uri L’Tzedek members and FYI went still one step further, coming together to visit for an exhibit on Sosua at the Jewish Museum. Sosua is the tiny community in the Dominican Republic that took in Jews during the Holocaust. Photographs from the museum trip (and other similar trips in the community) that feature pasty Jewish students and brown-skinned Dominican teens abound on the photo sharing website, Flickr. Mr. Cepeda believes Ari Hart took a major step towards healing the rift between the Dominican and Jewish communities of Washington Heights by reaching out to local nonprofit organizations in the area.


“Ari and some of his colleagues were looking for a way to cross [that divide] because in Washington Heights there’s a big population of Jewish people and there’s a big population of Dominican people but they rarely and seldom interact. I think he saw that as something that needs to be addressed,” Mr. Cepeda said. “Regardless if you’re Dominican, Puerto Rican, Jewish, Russian or Irish, there’s one thing we all have in common and that’s that we live in this community and this community is ours.”


Troy Schremmer, Director of Education at Fort Washington Collegiate Church, is a part of the community. He also painted a very positive picture of working with Ari Hart and Uri L’Tzedek.


“Ari came and found us. He came in one day and we sat down to figure out ways that we can interface. It’s been quite a casual partnership but it’s been a little one sided,” Mr. Schremmer said. “They’ve helped us more than we’ve helped them. We’ve helped them in giving them opportunities to help the community.”


Troy Schremmer has a hard time keeping track of all the organizations Ari Hart has put him in touch with around the neighborhood, everyone from Alianza Dominicana and FYI to the YMHA of Washington Heights & Inwood. Boxes of used clothing were just sitting at the church, which struggles with ways to distribute them, when Ari Hart and his team swooped in to help sort clothing and redistribute it. The day of the drop-offs, Mr. Schremmer drove Ari Hart around and watched as Mr. Hart smoothed all the bumps along the way.


“Ari made all the contacts. I made the drop offs when we did it. I remember the day of, things don’t always go as they’re planned, and Ari was calling ahead as I headed towards different groups. I was in the van and I had to say, ‘Ari where are we going?’ And he’d say, ‘these guys can take some clothes’ and we’d head there. It was fun,” Mr. Schremmer said with a laugh.


Making key contacts is part of Ari Hart’s job description. “I’ve learned the power of relationships,” Mr. Hart said. “The relationship is primary; everything else comes out of this.”


Working with Ari Hart led the church to another partnership with the Hebrew Tabernacle, a Reform Jewish congregation in Washington Heights. Mr. Schremmer feels he’s learned much more about the Jewish community from these experiences. But he’s learned even more about Ari Hart.


“Ari has been trying to raise awareness that people of faith can work together and that we do have common ground, especially when it comes to taking care of our neighbor. That’s an imperative for People of the Book,” Mr. Schremmer said. “I’ve been very encouraged by his attitude about it and just the different ways I’ve seen him show that by example and encourage others to do it.”


Mr. Schremmer strongly believes in what Ari Hart and Uri L’Tzedek are doing for the Washington Heights community.


“He believes in the principles laid out in Torah and how we should be living according to those and how that has direct impact on the Jewish community and folks taking care of one another,” Mr. Schremmer said. “But also how that has ramifications outside of what we perceive as our family or our close-knit community. I see him extending that. I don’t get the impression that he thinks it’s a popular idea or an idea that’s really cool. It really comes from his faith and his understanding of how he reads God’s word and God’s law. I see him as an authentic person who is trying to follow God’s direction in very practical ways in this community he is living in.”


It’s those principles that got Ruth Balinsky involved with Uri L’Tzedek. Ms. Balinksy met Ari Hart when he hired her at her first social justice job as an Or Tzedek staff member in Chicago. Most recently, Ms. Balinsky has worked with Mr. Hart on several projects, including the clothing drive and Tenants Rights Awareness events.


“He has continued to encourage me ever since [Or Tzedek] to pursue more projects in that field. Having worked in a variety of Jewish settings, I am well aware of the importance of Uri L'Tzedek. Not only is ‘Uri’ an extraordinarily competent and impressive organization, its role as an Orthodox voice in the movement is critical to my participation,” Ms. Balinsky said. “While there are many Jewish social justice organizations, few, if any, seriously confront religious issues, and genuinely incorporate them into their work. ‘Uri’ is a perfect blend of religiosity and social justice values, and has catered to the Orthodox community in ways that no other Jewish organization can.”


Ms. Balinsky is particularly passionate about the work Uri L’Tzedek does outside the Jewish community.


“After years of persecution and suffering, Jews finally enjoy a status of privilege in the United States. It would be criminal to enjoy my family's privilege and success, none of which I personally earned, without repaying my debt to American society, particularly through working with communities that came here under similar circumstances and have unfortunately not been able to succeed as strongly as the Jewish community,” Ms. Balinksy said. “That is one of the reasons I got involved with the clothing drive that worked with the Jewish and Dominican communities in Washington Heights. If we do not engage our neighbors in dialogue, then how can we engage other communities?”


But Ari Hart is quite humble about this work in Washington Heights.


“My biggest frustration is that I don’t know how much I’ve done. I don’t know if the Jewish community has moved any closer to [the rest of the community],” Mr. Hart said. “The hardest thing about this work is that you can spend every hour of every day just going and progress is progress but there are so many forces keeping things the way they are. Sometimes it feels like an unwinnable battle.”


The people Ari Hart has worked with are less humble about what Mr. Hart has done for Washington Heights. Mr. Schremmer clued me into another project Mr. Hart has been working on in his “spare time.”


“Ari’s been real great about making himself available on individual stuff. Not to go into lots of details but he’s helped a lot of individuals in the community who have needed help,” Mr. Schremmer said but he felt uncomfortable disclosing the specific details of these situations. “He’s also made himself available to us to help us with tutoring some of our young people. I know that there’s one specific student Ari’s working with but there’s lots of other students who need help and Ari is helping to network with other possible tutors.”


In spite of all his individual effort, Mr. Hart said, “I don’t want it to be about me.
He said he is still working to “figure out what kind of role to take in different projects, moving projects forward but also empowering people and having it be more than just me going out and doing what I want.”


Currently, Ari Hart is in talks with both Alianza Dominicana and Fort Washington Collegiate Church to coordinate over the tutoring program. But according to Uri L’Tzedek volunteer, Michal Brickman, the tutoring program is just one of two community-based youth initiatives Ari Hart and Uri L’Tzedek are working on.


“The tutoring program will bring desperately needed math and English tutors to local schools and after school programs, both within and outside the Jewish community. And a schools supplies drive will help alleviate the teachers in a Washington Heights public school and a local Jewish day school of the burden of paying out-of-pocket for many of their supplies,” Ms. Brickman said.


Ms. Brickman believes that none of these programs could have happened without Ari Hart’s devotion.


“Although Ari’s only been living in Washington Heights for a little over a year, he’s deeply committed to improving the local community. Ari is passionate about mobilizing the Jewish community to create social change,” Ms. Brickman said. “He believes that everyone has something to contribute to the community initiatives and is constantly encouraging people to voice their opinions and become actively involved. Ari brings a tireless enthusiasm for social justice and a deep respect for Torah ideals to the initiatives – and his optimism and positive energy are contagious!”


It is that tireless enthusiasm that keeps Ari Hart afloat while working under pressure for Uri L’Tzedek. The amount of work he’s doing seems endless. “We’re launching a non-profit, doing visioning, fundraising, making copies, teaching, organizing, buying food for events, programming and leadership, following up with people, doing a lot of one-on-ones with people, putting stuff together,” Mr. Hart said. “And then…yeshiva, of course. It’s basically two full-time jobs.” (Hart squeezed this interview in between a call to Israel, an Uri L’Tzedek meeting and the little sleep he’s getting at night.)


Mr. Hart said learning to say no to things has been a real challenge for him. “I struggle with wanting to do a lot and just not being able to do it all, managing commitments and managing not burning out, following through with everything I want to do. Sometimes there are a million ideas and I can’t do it all,” Mr. Hart said. “I wish I just had a month to process everything that’s happened in the last two years since I moved to New York.”


It doesn’t look like Mr. Hart will get that break any time soon. Not as long as Uri L’Tzedek works to “to improve tenants’ rights, the local environment, and education in surrounding public schools, availability of quality health care and the value of neighborhood apartments in Washington Heights,” Ms. Brickman said. “[All which] will ultimately only enhance the lives of each of us in the Jewish community by providing a cleaner, safer, and friendlier neighborhood.”


In the end, Ari Hart’s work has made Washington Heights a much smaller place. And he will continue working to keep it that way. Local churches, synagogues and other organizations that once ignored each other now call on each other as friends. Carlos Cepeda of FYI left me with his final thoughts on Ari’s community building activities.


Mr. Cepeda said, “I remember a poem that goes something like this…. In a thousand years from now, it won’t matter what house I have or the car that I drive or how much money I have in the bank. All that’s going to matter is the difference I made in my community. I think that’s the message Ari and his organization live by.”


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Laughing Through the Pain


Oh, boy, I haven't blogged since Sunday. That's quite a bit of time off for me. I'd like to say that I'm doing spectacularly important things but instead, I'm fighting the demons of depression, pain and fatigue. For the third day in a row, I've woken up feeling like my body was pummeled all over with tiny little baseball bats. It's doing wonders for my mood as you can imagine.

To lighten things up, I've gotten hooked on the show, "30 Rock" which episode after episode manages to squeeze a laugh or two out of me. Tina Fey is definitely at the top of my list of people with whom I'd love to be trapped in an elevator. Hopefully, my body shapes up for tomorrow when I'll be slogging through all the work I should have been doing since Sunday.

"30 Rock" might not be the cure for fibromyalgia but it's getting me through this rainy day. (I'm trying not to think about how sad it is that a man just killed himself, his wife and his whole family over unemployment. I'm trying not to think about the fact that NY ran out of money to cover unemployment. I'm trying not to think about all the people out there who are currently unemployed, including myself.)

So this is what my hibernation looks like. It's also wearing a Lands End baby blue sleep shirt surrounded by magazines (Oprah, Self, Entertainment Weekly, Time) and the novel "Human Parts." What do you do when you need to get away from it all?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Getting My Dominican On

I used my book allowance this week to buy myself some books that would help me get my Dominican on. I know what you're thinking: Your what? And since when do you have a book allowance?

Your answers go something like this:


I've had a book allowance for a year now. Ever since my husband came home from school and discovered that I'd bought myself a shelf worth of writing books. In my defense, most of them were from Half.com but he wasn't having that. Hubbie put his foot down. Food is more important than books he swears and so now I'm only allowed to buy $50 worth of books a month. I know, you're choking on your pity. Go on. I'll take in a sniffle. I do try to squeeze every little penny out of my allowance but my Amazon.com wish list is nearly ready to explode. Don't even get me started on how well I'm doing actually reading all the books I buy.


Ah, getting my Dominican on means I'm trying to feed my multifaceted self with books on Latino topics. And we've grown up since "Dirty Girls on Top." Now I'm reading books (er, scheduled to read books) on Dominican racial identity "Black Behind the Ears; Dominican Racial Identity from Museums to Barber Shops" and books on Latina-American identity "Hijas Americanas" and I even scored a book on Dominican cooking, "Traditional Dominican Cookery" with good ole Tia Clara. I even purchased "Twilight" in Spanish. It might take me a year to finish it with my trusty electronic translator but we've come a long way from Dr. Seuss.

Now, the Latina side of the bookcase is almost looking as fierce as the Jewish side. If only I could tear myself away from writing long enough to sit down and read all my new books. Did I mention that two Jewish books ("Seven Blessings" by Ruchama King and "Cool Jew: The Ultimate Guide for Every Member of the Tribe" by Lisa Alcalay Klug) and Harry Potter in Spanish are also waiting for me at the library? Oy vey, no wonder the lenses in my glasses are so thick.


And I've planned out some of my picks for next month, Paula Derrow's sex anthology, "Behind the Bedroom Door: Getting It, Giving It, Loving It and Missing It" and a book on the Dominican diaspora, "A Tale of Two Cities: Santo Domingo and New York after 1950." And I'll be reading "Human Parts" by Orly Castel-Bloom and Liel Leibovitz's book "Aliya" (on American immigration to Israel) for a writing class.

What are you reading?

Between Church and Friendship


How Church Came Between My Friendship...

When I was converting to Judaism, I asked a rabbi if I could walk into a church again. I wasn’t planning on returning for services but I had my sights on visiting the Sistine Chapel someday. It was also a question that bothered many of my Christian friends, particularly my friend, Cynthia.

You can read the rest here: "Leaving the Church, and Cynthia, Behind"

What do you think: Is our friendship is salvageable?

Conversion Chaos

In "How to convert a crisis: Say ‘dayenu’", Shammai Engelmayer does a pretty good job of summing up the current conversion crisis. At LimmudNY, Seth Farber, head of ITIM, did him one better.

I sat in on one of Farber's LimmudNY session, "Conversion Chaos." This is how the session was billed: "Since 2004, conversion to Judaism has increasingly been in the headlines. In 2008, a rabbinic court in Israel invalidated 40,000 orthodox conversions. This session will map out what has happened and analyze what may happen in the coming months." Farber led the session by laying out a dizzying array of information and anecdotes with an infectious enthusiasm that belied the dark thunder cloud raining over conversion in Israel.

In the end, I'd heard most of the story before. Conversion in Israel is out of control. Farber's on the front lines trying to do something about. Orthodox converts (prospective and those already dipped in the mikveh) in the United States and Israel are running scared, either towards their rabbis or away from Judaism.

It was the only session at LimmudNY that made me cry even after Farber sat down with me privately and assured me that my conversion was okay...for now. I can't help but feel pain for all the converts this chaos has hurt. I can't help but make that pain my own. I can't help thinking that converts are the wreckage, the massacred thousands, on the battlefield of an ongoing war between rabbis.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Color War in My Head

I just got off the phone with my mother-in-law where I was explaining to her how the race talk went at LimmudNY. I made some comment like people of color don't ever stop thinking about the color of their skin and it floored her. I think a fellow Hispanic friend said it better when she recently wrote me:



"They keep talking about being colorblind, not realizing that being colorblind is a priviledge of being white. People of color aren't so lucky."



But maybe it's that whites don't think about being white unless they're put in situations where they are the only white face in the room? And I started to wonder just how long it takes, if ever, for my white friends to stop thinking of me as their colored friend, their Hispanic friend. Do I ever stop thinking of them as my white friends? I realized that I was writing one of my characters in my book and if I hadn't mentioned once that she was Chinese. If I didn't, I knew that people would assume that she was white. I notice that when there are white characters in my book, I go out of my way to note this, the way that white writers note people of color in their books.



And on another note why is racism that is unintentional or subtle any easier on the person of color who is experiencing it? Because the perpetrator wasn't trying to hurt them? Isn't that the difference between manslaughter and homocide? A friend wants to know why it's white people who are telling me not to get on the defensive every time someone says something offensive to me.



Still another thought: The generic white boy in the room is a victim of racism, too, because his white friends are walking around thinking that only people of color have an interesting story to tell. It doesn't occur to anyone as I told my mother-in-law that the white girl next to you could have been raised by wolves and you'll never find out because you labeled her boring white girl and didn't stop to ask about her story.



And yes, I think it's a brand of racism that we objectify and fetishize people of color. What kind of world would I be in if I only thought that people of color had anything interesting to say? What would I do with all my white friends? My mother-in-law thinks that maybe white people are interesting to me because they're exotic...it never occurs to her that perhaps I'm interested in them just because they're people and that as a writer, I know that everyone has a story to tell. For a moment, I stopped thinking of them as white people and myself as a person of color and I just saw as all as people.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Little Hope

I miss teaching High School English. I miss the kids and their crazy stories. I miss the teachers and the constant gossip. I miss knowing deep down that no matter how horrible the day was, I made a difference.

Lucky for me, I get fan mail on a routine basis that seems to suggest I’m still making a difference in the lives of others. I don’t always get to meet the people behind those faceless emails but they sure do make their presence known. For a girl who spends most of her days alone typing away in front of a computer, I sure do feel like I’m being carried on the shoulders of some great, big support system that's bigger than I can even imagine. It gives me hope.

Speaking of hope, if I wasn’t writing a book about my life, it might get really easy to forget how far I’ve come. Thankfully, my eighth grade English teacher Mr. Peter Miner keeps things in perspective for me. Check out the photograph below from his classroom where he posted my Latina article for all his students to see. Perhaps, I’m giving hope to all those faceless (mostly, Dominican) junior high school students who’ll realize there’s a big world out there just waiting for the grand achievements they will make. (And all I had to do was write a little story!)

I’m kind of a little overwhelmed right now. I didn’t do too much today. (But let’s make this clear to all those naysayers, I do quite a lot on an everyday basis despite what my friends think I’m doing.) I ran a lot of errands. I went to CVS to pick up some prescriptions. I went to the post office to ship the Twilight saga to my cousins in the Dominican Republic. (I'm now reading the saga in Spanish.) I went to the comic book store to pick up the latest issues of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 comics. And the whole time, I was thinking, wow, I’m feeling pretty lucky to be me and I can’t stop thinking about all the hands that helped me get here.

It was a pretty good day. And this evening should be even better. My eighth grade English teacher is coming up to visit me in Riverdale and he's bringing the Holocaust survivor I met when I was 13. It goes without saying that I wouldn't be Jewish if she, Hannelore Marx, hadn't told her story.


Photo of my article up in Mr. Miner's classroom.

The Stupid Jew


I know the title for my latest Interfaithfamily.com piece doesn't sound uplifting. But, trust me, "The Stupid Jew" will fool you!

Recap on LimmudNY Session on Racism in the Jewish Community

Everyone knows what overt racism looks like. If they haven't experienced it then it's easy for them to imagine. We've all seen the awful photographs from the civil rights movement. But most people walk through life on a daily basis overlooking the more subtle forms of racism so that's what my husband and I focused on in our discussion of "Racism in the Jewish Community"---the session we led at LimmudNY.

First things first, when you're a person of color being asked "Where are you from?" frequently means "What are you?" I've mentioned this before on the blog. I'm often asked, "Where are you from?" at a Shabbat table but one time, it played out a little differently. When I responded just"New York." The person wasn't satisfied by my answer, they became more and more aggressive until they finally outright asked, "Where are your grandparents from?" This was one of the few times I didn't say, "New York by way of the Dominican Republic" or "New York, where are you from?" I suppose that asking "Where are your grandparents from?" was a nicer way of asking "What are you?" but really, is it anyone's business?

The answer is no. Picture this. A stranger of color walks into a synagogue. They're the only person of color in a crowd of whites. People make the automatic assumption that this person has an interesting story to tell because of skin color. They are dying to run over, and maybe they do, to ask about this person's story. Maybe like me, this person doesn't want to talk about where their grandparents are from but you're still dying to know and so an introduction quickly turns into an interrogation. You don't stop to think that it might be an interrogation, you're just so curious to know this person's story. But what if they don't want to share? What if like me when you ask them "Where are you from?" They answer: New York. Washington Heights. Harlem Hospital. They refuse to take the bait. Maybe, it's a sign that their story, the one YOU want to hear, is not the one they want to tell.

I called this "exotic monkey" syndrome at our session: you see someone exotic, you're drawn to them because of curiosity. But how does that person of color feel about the fact that you're only talking to them because they're strange or weird or different? One guy at LimmudNY put it this way, people assume he has no story to tell because he's just a "generic Jewish white boy." Well, at least, no one asks to touch his hair after the Shabbos meal. I bet he's never been told that his skin color is a lovely shade. Poor generic Jewish white boy gets no love because people think only the "exotic monkey" has something to say. That's not right.

I know I offended more than one person at the talk. "Exotic monkey," a term I thought up during the talk, did not go over well for some. (Someone assured me later that whenever you open your mouth you're likely to offend someone!) I think I was even accused of being an angry minority when I went off on premeditated tangents with stories I used to illustrate several of the points I wanted to make.

So let me get this out right now: I'm not angry. I'm lucky. Even with the pages of documentation I've been able to draw up about the racism I've experienced in the Jewish community (forget the Dominican community or the white American community at large), I know people who have experienced much worst and aren't telling their stories. I hope that I'm able to stand up and speak for them and do their experiences justice.

Look, I have a cute white husband and great white friends who remind me constantly that some of the inappropriate comments people make are not meant to be hurtful and aren't even understood as hurtful by the perpetrator. I try to take a deep breath whenever I feel like I'm being attacked and I try to think about where the person is coming from. Then if I'm able to breathe properly again, I can educate the person. I am really lucky that I can distinguish between one person's actions and the actions of an entire group of people. I'm lucky that I get to guide people on how to THINK about these issues.

In our session, we also talked about how we all live in a world where too many shampoo bottles still say "Normal Hair," an implication that if you can't wash your hair with this junk then your hair (and maybe you) are abnormal. We talked about Asian women getting corrective eyelid surgery to get "white girl" eyes, African American women straightening their hair because they're told Afros are inappropriate in the workplace and the one that hit closer to home, Jewish girls getting nose jobs. We talked about how we breathe in cultural perceptions and turn them on ourselves. And then, of course, we turn them finally on others.

What else do you call it when Orthodox Jews in Washington Heights ask me "Why do Dominicans dress like that--in tight, revealing clothing--don't they like themselves?" And then Dominicans ask me "Why do Jews dress like that--all covered up--don't they like themselves?" People take those cultural perceptions they're breathing in and they use them to judge others...often, unfairly. G-d forbid anyone ever talks to anyone who looks a little different? I know someone people have already thrown up their arms and decided that it's really safer just to stick to your own kind, right?

But it isn't. It isn't safe anywhere. My Dominican friends with straightened hair are going to continue wrinkle their noses and make nasty comments every time they see my hair isn't "done" like theirs. My Jewish friends are going to make comments about the way I'm covering my big hair. In "Color of Jews," the editor writes about how the Ashkenazi Jewish girls are trying to look white while the Sephardic Jewish girls are trying to look Ashkenazi. It seems no one is happy with their lot. Is this racism? Yes, it's in its own insidious form, it's mostly silent but just as deadly. It's all of us trying to live up to some crazy white beauty standard, some crazy standard of what is normal and hurting ourselves and each other in the process.

So don't forget that "interesting" looking person walking into synagogue could be as interesting as the doormat you use to wipe your shoes, maybe you should try talking to that unassuming person next to you to whom you've never even bothered to stay "Hello." If you still can't take your eyes off Mr. Interesting Looking then maybe you should have them over for a meal, ply them with dessert, tell them YOUR story and give them the chance to tell you about where their grandparents are from before you start asking "What are you?"

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Catching Up

If I was a real Dominican, I would know someone going to Santo Domingo this week and I would have them drop off the copies of the Twilight saga I purchased for my cousin. (My Jewish friends tell me people do the same thing with sending things to Israel.) But I'm very American and I will instead suffer paying too much to ship them via the post office, I walked out of Federal Express when they tried to charge me three times what the books were worth. Bah humbug!

Meanwhile, I have plenty to write about and never enough time to write. My husband and I just got back from speaking on race and conversion at LimmudNY. Most people were delighted by our conversion session and one person said the race session had been "jarring." (We've already been asked to speak elsewhere on both subjects.) As you might have noted from the previous post, we were afraid we wouldn't survive for the whole conference. We didn't leave Saturday night though I was pretty pissed about the circumstances we were enduring and ready to run back to the city. We decided to stay because my husband wanted to teach our sessions in return for the wonderful scholarships we'd received to help us attend the conference.

I'm glad we stayed at LimmudNY. My wallet is ready to burst from the business cards I collected. (D'oh, I forget to bring mine.) I've already been Facebooked by many of the new friends I made there. I had a chance to talk to many, many interesting people (something that was direly missing in my life) and I learned me some Jewish stuff (another thing I'd been dying to do). By the end of the conference on Monday, the hotel still wasn't completely heated but we were warmed by how positive most of us (not me) had stayed in spite of everything.

I may or may not have figured out a name for my book. My friends don't love it but I'm playing around with it, typing it in big letters and all that. I actually missed my book while I was gone. There were lulls in-between Limmud NY sessions where I really wondered what I had been thinking when I'd left my laptop at home. (Really, I don't even know how I would survive without an Internet connection.) I came home and dusted off Chapter 23 (wow!) of my book but all I got done today was adding accents to Spanish words and correcting various errors. I'm up to page 228 but at least one of those pages is just my title scrawled in the Impact and Mistral fonts across the page.

I apologize for not Twittering more often. I apologize for not blogging more often. I apologize that I will not be devoting a whole blog to the inauguration though I am sure you all watched but which I mostly missed before I logged onto CNN.com to watch. I know, without cable, it's almost like I live in a cave. And now, I am off, I am forcing myself out of the cave, away from all my loving fans (thanks for steady stream of email love) and my deathtrap of a computer.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Brrrr!!!!



Greetings from Ellenville, NY where the LimmudNY conference may or may not take place. We arrived Thursday evening to discover that the heat was broken at the hotel where the conference was to take place. I got to see most of a screening of "My Mexican Shivah" while we waited for rooms to be organized for us at a nearby sister hotel.

My husband's session early this morning was cancelled and we should know by 11am whether or not the entire conference will be cancelled. On the positive side, it's nice and toasty at the sister hotel. I had yummy french toast and mushy eggs for breakfast. And why don't hotels believe that people drink skim milk? I drink skim and I'm not ashamed of it! Also, I've already met some nice, friendly interesting people. Oh and the view from my cozy room is spectacular. If it wasn't 8 degrees, I would be going sledding on those big, bad mountains...or at least thinking about it in more depth.

"My Mexican Shivah" really was the highlight of yesterday's evening. The film, which is almost entirely in Spanish with some Hebrew and Yiddish in-between, was a riot! I couldn't stop giggling. And it was totally awesome to be able to understand almost every word (in Spanish and some in Hebrew) in the film, not to mention the rockin' time I had watching a film about Latino Jews! It's definitely going to go down as one of my best Jewish moments ever. Who would have thought I'd say such a thing about a funny little film about a shiva?

The Spanish-language trailer is below:

Before you boycott Israel...

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Speaking Out

I've been astounded by the amount of fan mail I've received over my latest piece, "My Love/Hate Relationship with G-d." It's really been a wonderful experience this week to wake up every morning and find a new email from a fan. Keep it coming!

I've gotten so many virtual hugs from Jewesses also suffering from fibromyalgia or depression or racism or family drama. A few men have even signed onto the bandwagon to ask me about everything from shidduchim (loosely: matchmaking opportunities) to congratulating me on a great piece. Writing might not be very lucrative right now but with fans like this, I certainly get to enjoy other priceless rewards. (I even got some "hate" mail about other articles, which my husband thinks is good because it means I'm touching a nerve.)

Meanwhile, I've been surprised by how many people have emailed me telling me they look forward to hearing me speak this weekend at LimmudNY where my husband and I will be giving two separate presentations together on racism and conversion. (My husband and I balance each other out with our different teaching styles: he relies on Jewish sources while I introduce sources from Glamour magazine and anecdotes from every day life.) In fact, I've been getting many more emails about speaking at other venues as well. I'm up to about page 200 of my memoir but based on just the several articles I have under my belt now, it seems people think I've got interesting things to say.

And I do, I suppose. I think one of my greatest gifts (and weaknesses) is being able to say things that no one else wants to say. I can't seem to keep my mouth shut and blend in safely, quietly into the background, no matter how much of my life I've spent wishing I could. And as a writer, I spend a great deal of time thinking about my experiences and what they say about issues like race, conversion, culture, religion, etc. Writing is the way I think about these things out loud in a larger forum. But just because I'm a "great writer" (fan's words, not mine) doesn't mean I'm the best speaker in the world (my husband is rolling his eyes over my "humility"). I hope people aren't getting any ideas now. All these new opportunities have lead to fears that people will meet me in person and find me utterly disappointing. In the classroom as a teacher, it was easy to see and understand the audience I was trying to reach but in the local synagogue or college in front of countless nameless faces, it can be hard to gauge a crowd. Not that I've ever been very good at crowd control, mind you. Okay, I was, but I'm much better with teenagers than I am with adults.

Am I whining about my recent good fortune? I mean, how many people do you know that are getting paid by others who just want to listen in on their thoughts? Do you suppose I should just start picturing everyone in their underwear?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Italy Trip Recap: Down and dirty in the city

Writing in Rome.



When I came back from the Pico-Robertson area of Los Angeles where my husband was standing in as a rabbinic intern, the first thing I noticed about New York was that it was really dirty. Had the city always been so filthy or was I just desensitized to it? I suspected that it was a little of both.


When my aunt went to Italy, she commented that it was pretty dirty, too. I didn't know what to think. I could only dream of visiting Europe. I'd never actually been, and here was my aunt telling me that Italy, the place with some of the greatest art in the world, would fail the white glove treatment a billion times over. She was really disgusted. Lucky for me, I'm mostly oblivious to dirt---my mother once decried that my sisters and I were total pigs, self-appointed princesses of a grand pigsty. Hey, we all have our faults, but what if my obliviousness was the key to having a good trip?


It's no surprise that when I finally hit Rome two weeks ago, I thought it was pretty clean. I didn't have to step over too much trash on my way to check out the ancient ruins. The bathrooms (almost all of which didn't have toilet seats) were pretty neat---unless you were taking the train to Florence or Venice, in which case, watch ya step! If there was dirt in Italy, I didn't see it. I was too busy marveling over the fact that I was in Rome! In Venice! In Florence! How in the world had I gone from being a welfare child reading about Hercules and Venus to actually visiting the statues and paintings featuring these epic Greco-Roman figures in person? I stood in front of Michaelangelo's David with my mouth agape for quite some time. I couldn't wrap my mind around where I was or what I was seeing.


So it was actually pretty easy to mostly overlook the fact that all the Metro trains were covered in graffiti. Some of the colors emblazoned on the side of the trains were quite vibrant. Besides, on the Metro, I was too busy checking out that Asian girl's Hello Kitty ring (which, of course, I picked up in Venice for my sister). I was too busy trying not to laugh when an Elvis lookalike with an Italian accent crooned "Blue Suede Shoes" during my ride. There were too many strange and beautiful things to see to ever allow me to stop and think about whether or not the Italian cities I visited were disgustingly filthy.

Maybe it's all about perspective. I didn't go to Italy with too many expectations. I didn't go to judge whether or not it was cleaner or better or more efficient than New York. I read the guidebook and I expected waiters to take their time and every single course at dinner (antipasta, first, second, dessert and more!) to last forever. I marveled at how far my Spanish got me in Italian. And I just knew that seeing the Sisteen Chapel up close and personal would make my entire year. It did.
Who knows, I could be quite the world traveler now, a girl could get used to sitting in coffee shops sipping lattes and writing about the world....

Monday, January 12, 2009

It's official!

Cute photo from the website.

Orthodox Conversion to Judaism is the new, official website of the Rabbinical Council of America Geirus (Conversion) Policies and Standards (GPS) Network. It's clean, sleek and to the point. Hopefully, I'm not the last one to find out about it.

I haven't had a chance to view the site in depth and I'm more than a little curious as to whether it's as informative as the good old books, "Becoming a Jew" by Maurice Lamm and "Choosing to Be Jewish: The Road to Orthodox Conversion" by Marc Angel, the latter which is not on the listed RCA recommended reading list. The recommending reading list itself is quite illuminating, chock full of books I've enjoyed and books with titles that sort of just make you groan. (Don't judge a book by its title, I suppose.) And hey, how come no one had me read the entire books of the Prophets? Something tells me that Job and I could have been BFFs. But anyway, lest, I be found lacking, I am adding some of the books I haven't read onto my Amazon wishlist.

Meanwhile, further illuminating points on the website include a "Frequently Asked Questions" list that's good but not too ambitious. (I happen to know there are a lot more frequently asked questions buzzing in the heads of prospective converts.) I think more skittish converts confused by the new GPS guidelines will welcome the list of "Participating Batei din," though I can't fathom why the list is so darn short. I hope the required two years of study isn't due to a backlog of getting conversions processed.

The best part of this website is the obvious work that's been done to make sure that prospective converts make an informed decision. Kudos to Rabbi Michoel Zylberman, Director of GPS Conversions, whose email and extension have handily added to the site.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Aliza Hits Latina Magazine and more....



Pick up the current issue of Latina magazine and you'll find a familiar face amidst the pages: mine. Check out page 84 of the February issue for my latest piece, "Not-So-Foreign Language" where I chronicle my battles to stay fluent in Spanish in the face of assimilation and cultural conflict. If you're savvy, you might even be able to find a link to the PDF of the piece on one of the links on this site. Wink, wink. (Oh, come on, just go pay the $2.95.)



If you missed "My Uterus is None of Your Business," check out the latest reprint in The Jewish Planet bearing a new glatt kosher title, "My Fertility is None of Your Business."

A Healthy Shape

Richard Brodsky, 56, ran a marathon a year after finding out he had brain cancer. He still runs with his wife, Jodi, right. (Christian Hansen/New York Times)


There's a new face to chronic illness and I've talked about it before on my blog. It was fibromyalgia, after all, that forced me to start exercising and put muscle in places I didn't know muscles could develop. So what if you were battling chronic illness but in the best shape of your life?





A new NY Times article looks at others suffering from chronic illness who are coping by whipping themselves into shape: "Disease Invades a Body, and Endorphins Kick In"

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Dominican Women in Trouble

It's not every day that you open the NY Times and find news about Dominicans so, of course, when I saw a link to "For Privacy’s Sake, Taking Risks to End Pregnancy", I scrambled to open it. What I read when I opened the link and skimmed the article was really troubling. It was sad news.

The article focuses on the troubling nontraditional ways that women in the Dominican community, particularly in Washington Heights, are ending their pregnancies. The article tried not to past judgment but it left me utterly unsettled. The women, the doctors and others interviewed in the article mark a troubling trend of Dominican and other immigrant women taking prescription ulcer medications to induce abortions at home. With both condoms and birth control remote for social and financial reasons, these lost women make, indeed, scary choices.

I grew up in a Washington Heights where it was all too common for a teenage girl to get pregnant. I joked as a teen that it was a requirement at my aunt's Catholic high school. I never once stopped to think of all the women who were choosing another alternative. As mostly staunch Catholics, Dominicans, I imagine, would find abortion more taboo than bringing a pregnancy to term that would be glaring evidence of sex before marriage. The article, unfortunately, didn't prove me wrong.

A Jewish Face

I've got plenty to say about my trip to Europe. You'll soon hear all about the mystifying, wide-eyed journey of a welfare child navigating Italy with a hodgepodge of broken Spanish and Italian. I made sure to take copious notes during my first and only trip to Europe ever and you will be subject to my whims to share them all.

But while I recover from jet lag today, I figured I'd write about the stuff in my inbox. I came home to find it flooded with emails about Israel and Gaza. Apparently, the world was still turning while I was unplugged from the news media.

On my last day in Rome, I turned on the TV and watched pro-Palestinian protesters burn the Israeli flag. I thought perhaps I was watching a scene from Gaza but it was actually a scene from Rome. I remember being terrified about visiting the Roman Jewish ghetto that evening, worried that some of the violence would have spilled into my little kosher haven. Luckily, it didn't.

I did come home to find scary emails from friends who had not been spared so easily. The latest news from Gaza has apparently led to many anti-Semitic experiences for my friends and prospective converts I know. They are under attack for having Jewish faces that represent Israel and Judaism whether or not they believe in the current Israeli military action.

As a non-Jew, a prospective convert, visiting Israel in 2006 during the war with Lebanon, I, too, became a public Jewish face. It was the first time I had ever had to explain or fight for Israel and many of the attacks came unexpectedly from friends and family. Looking back, I am troubled because it seemed too easy, too quick, how anti-Israeli sentiment turned into anti-Semitism.

It was a crash course experience in learning how being a Jew means being tied to a beautiful land in the Middle East, a land of strong Jewish identity and rockets, war and strife that once seemed far removed from my relatively pleasant, safe American experience.

Three Religions, Three Cultures and A Search for Identity

Memoirist and filmmaker Sadia Shepard


Back from a week in Italy, my friends, more on that later.

In the meantime, please check out my latest piece for Interfaithfamily.com. It's a profile on Sadia Shepard and her memoir, "The Girl from Foreign: A Search for Shipwrecked Ancestors, Forgotten Histories and a Sense of Home".

I hope you'll enjoy my piece, "Three Religions, Three Cultures and A Search for Identity".