The Iron Man Review

The movie website I was hoping would quickly post my Iron Man review seems to be experiencing technical difficulties so below is the text of that review. It's not my best review yet but I'm just getting my feet wet again. Hopefully, writing movie reviews is like riding a bicycle!

Update 6/10/02:
My Iron Man review hits the web!






Title: Iron Man
Actors: Robert Downey, Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow, Leslie Bibb
Directors: Jon Favreau
Screenwriters: Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby, Art Marcum, Matt Halloway
Production Company: Marvel & Paramount Pictures
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2hrs., 6 mins.
Release Date: 5/2/2008
Movie Rating: 3 out of 4 popcorns


Brief Introduction: The summer movie season blazes wide open to make room Iron Man for the first of many superhero flicks!


The Review:


Kicking off a movie season that just keeps getting earlier, Iron Man rocks and roars into summer as the latest Marvel comic book film to score big at the box office. Former Oscar nominee Robert Downey, Jr. stages a blazing comeback as Tony Stark, bad boy weapons expert turned hero, by donning a mechanical super suit that’s powered by the world’s classiest pacemaker. The suit is Downey’s most constant costar throughout the film as Iron Man flits back and forth between close-ups of Downey and then of the suit flexing and flying, thus ensuring maximum audience drooling.

Even before the suit makes it appearance, Iron Man opens with a bang when Stark’s weapons demonstration in an unknown desert region is hijacked by a gang of Middle Eastern baddies packing heat. The origin story is set in motion when Stark realizes that his kidnappers are using his own weapons technology to hold him captive as they vie for world domination. Our would-be hero just ain’t having that and so he forges a rough draft of his super attire out of some scrap metal he cobbles together in the cave where he’s being held. We ask many things from our superhero origin stories but plausibility isn’t one of them.

As a real life former bad boy himself, Downey glides easily into the role of Tony Stark, the playboy behind the armor, flirting aimlessly with random women and guffawing with all the envious guys. Grown-ups familiar with Downey’s checkered past are supposed to wink at each other knowingly when Downey waxes less than poetically about how Stark is more rakish cad than hero. But it’s Downey who gets the last laugh by adding his name to the growing list of bankable everymen---from Toby Maguire as Spider-man and Christian Bale’s Batman to Edward Norton’s turn in this June’s The Incredible Hulk---all redefining who audiences today picture when they ponder their supermen.

Unfortunately, Iron Man’s cartoonish dialogue leave Downey’s long regaled acting chops severely underused. In this superficial special effects extravaganza, his charisma and simmering smile garner only some weak laughs before a few pratfall gags really grab the audience’s attention. As is so often the case in superhero storytelling, the man behind the mask is clearly upstaged by the stellar computer graphics that fashion the man’s super suit and super toys. Iron Man’s superb hyper-realistic special effects are an awe-inspiring tribute to the gift that computer graphics has been to the big screen and namely, superhero films. Still, vivid shots of the hot suit or not, it’s hard to overlook Downey’s smooth delivery of imminently droll lines. Luckily, the raging rock and roll soundtrack cues in at just the right spots to prevent most audience eye rolling.

And yet, despite the weak dialogue, ever since Halle Berry followed an Oscar win with a return as X-Men’s Storm in X2, more distinguished actors have been taking time off from more Shakespearean pursuits to make appearances in even the most staid superhero flicks. After all, just what was Jennifer Connelly doing in the last Hulk? Iron Man’s boasts an all-star cast that includes Oscar winner Gwyneth Paltrow, a yawn-worthy love interest/personal assistant; past Oscar nominee Jeff Bridges appears as the bald and bearded, smarmy villain (no really, Jeff Bridges); and past Oscar nominee Terrence Howard hunkers down as the buddy, a military contact who eyes the Iron Man suit with longing. Though Paltrow’s role as bland caricature Pepper Potts makes Kirsten’s Dunst’s turn as Mary Jane in Spider-man seem particularly meaty, it seems to be industry standard these days to prop up the main attraction with a group of more than formidable equally bankable talent.

In the end, the loud smash ‘em and bash ‘em rock-and-roller that is Iron Man resembles neither Batman Begins nor (thankfully) Fantastic Four, lacking the depth of the first and the more cotton candy aspects of the latter. It’s merely a serviceable but entertaining addition to the burgeoning list of superhero franchises and their never-ending sequels. Iron Man gets the job done by offering up the thrilling taste of the fun and vapidity we’ve come to expect from our summer blockbusters while teasing us gloriously about summers to come. Stay after the credits roll and it becomes clear that this caramelized movie vehicle was only meant to whet our appetite: Iron Man 2 is already a go.

Back on my movie fix

I spent my three-day weekend doing my part to help movie theaters stay open. I've been ignoring my Netflix DVDs in favor of hunkering down at my favorite air-conditioned and crowded theater in Manhattan to celebrate the new summer movie season. Did I mention that I've always been obsessed with movies?

In junior high, I kept up an "entertainment book," an up-to-date database of movie and actor information that my friends would flip through during class and lunch. But it wasn't until college that I could actually fork over the funds to see most of the movies I wanted to see and the stars I'd formerly only obsessed over in my Entertainment Weekly and teen magazine subscriptions. When my then therapist worried I was being antisocial on my 19th birthday by spending the day at the movies by myself, I assured her that my decision was based on the fact that I had very few friends that would swear to a vow of silence during viewings. In my flowery PJs, I ended up at two theaters and four films.

I just finished an Iron Man review that I hope goes up on Tail Slate, a movie website I've been writing for since 2004 when I was down on unemployment between the end of my career as a administrative assistant and the start of my teaching career. I've writing reviews for them intermittently since then, needing time to recoup between obsessive film and DVD watching, not to mention rather dull movie seasons. I'll post a link to the Iron Man review once it's up and will only hint now at the fact that while I enjoyed the film, it was mostly a startling special effects fluff piece.

I also had the chance to catch The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian and the new Indiana Jones. Though, I found myself unexpectedly satisfied at both pictures (especially by the sense of wonder Prince Caspian was able to evoke), a friend found Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull mostly underwhelming. Since I'm not an Indy purist by any means, the plotlines of the originals lost in the cloud that was my childhood, I enjoyed the little chortles here and there that were inspired by a piece that obviously meant to be more about reconnecting with loved characters and watching them achieve a sense of closure than about any plot or (thank G-d) restarting a the franchise.

Two of my former students joined me and my husband for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and we all discussed the film industry during the sneak previews. "Are there really four (Iron Man, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, The Dark Knight, The Incredible Hulk) comic book flicks coming out this season?" I wondered aloud. My former student noted that he believes "Hollywood's run out of ideas." My husband agreed with him after watching the preview for (no joke) Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

There might be some ideas still left in Hollywood. One could point out that the upcoming Hancock, starring Will Smith, is one of the rare superhero stories without the Marvel or DC Comics logo attached. A woman in the audience watching the preview for Hancock wondered when the movie would play in theaters and another aptly responded "probably around July 4th." My husband surmised the same, "Will Smith movies always open around July 4th." A quick glance at the movie poster on the way out confirmed that the film will open with the intention of drawing in Independence Day partiers by opening July 2nd.

And though, I'll be adding my measly ticket stub to all that Hancock rakes in July, right now, I'm looking towards finishing up May with Sex and the City, another on the long list of films that draws on the built-in fanbase of a TV show (X-Files: I Want to Believe) or book (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2) or Broadway show (Mamma Mia!) or long dead old faithful (The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor) to create a bankable "new" film franchise. Even a doll collection aims to become a franchise monolith this summer movie season with Kitt Kittredge: An American Girl.

The real question for me this season is whether or not race or sex will be more offensive to my seasoned moviegoer eyes. I'm perplexed by Robert Downey, Jr.'s decision to follow-up Iron Man's success with a turn as an African American character in the Ben Stiller comedy, Tropic Thunder. But I'm also bracing myself to cope with any hot and heavy sex scenes that Sex and the City might bring to the big screen in all their glory. Though I watched every episode during a past summer DVD marathon, I can't say that there weren't a couple that shocked me or left me squeamish due to their bold sexuality. And now, I'll be watching the film version with what I think have become more "sensitive" eyes thanks to my new religious perspective. This summer may prove the first time since I was nicknamed Mother Theresa as a child that I cover my own eyes at the movies.

Workers Need Your Help!

I recently received an email of a Jewschool post: It’s Our Turn to Help

Hundreds of undocumented immigrants suffering under Agriprocessors's labor practices were detained after a raid at Agriprocessors (Rubashkin's) in Postville, Iowa. Many of their families have turned to the local Catholic church listed below for food and shelter.

I found some local newspaper articles on the tragedy on the site of fellow blogger, Steg:
Immigration officials conduct raid on Agriprocessors, Inc. plant in PostvilleScared relatives huddling inside Postville churchAnxiety high inside Postville church

You can help them out by donating to:
St. Bridget's Hispanic Fund
c/o Sister Mary McCauley
PO Box 369
Postville, IA 52162

Watch Sister Mary McCauley of St. Bridget Catholic Church discuss the situation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_k4DBtvvM4

A Jewess-by-Choice Reacts to the RCA’s New Conversion Standards

In my work to try to get the word out on how the current conversion climate is affecting current and future converts everywhere, I've posted my editorial in The Jewish Planet on a more prominent Jewish blog for Jewish women..


Check out my Guest Post on the Jewess blog:

A Jewess-by-Choice Reacts to the RCA’s New Conversion Standards

Reacting to the RCA and current climate surrounding Orthodox conversion

Yitz Jordan as photographed by Avital Aronowitz for my "Funny You Don't Look Jewish" article in Presentense Magazine

An article of mine, related to a previous blog on the current events related to Orthodox conversion to Judaism was published in a local paper, The Jewish Planet:

"A Jew-by-choice reflects on the RCA's new conversion standards"

So far, response to the editorial has been positive. My favorite response was from a convert-in-training who said that my article had been passed around her conversion class, in a show of solidarity, by another convert-in-training.

Here are some recent links regarding Orthodox conversion to Judaism:

"Ultra-Orthodox Rabbis Are Reversing Conversions By the Fistful"

Chief Rabbi: Decision to Overturn Conversions Won't Stand

Revoked conversion sparks uproar

One poignant response to all the latest negative news surrounding Orthodox conversion came from a convert-in-training who feared becoming a Jewish convert if it meant that she would always be considered a second-class citizen.

And so now, one wonders if the new conversion standard in the Orthodox Judaism of some is that non-Jews convert even when the Jewish community may never accept them as true Jews?

Reflections on JCC Talk on Jews of Color

Photo: TheFlowerExpert.com

April's JCC Talk on Jews of Color was as explosive as it was packed! Jews of all colors and walks of live attended. There were two speakers, a Latin American Conservative rabbinical student and Jewish convert (of Jewish ancestery) and a half-Chinese, half-White secular Jewish woman, Jen Chau, who heads Swirl, "a national multi-ethnic organization that challenges society’s notions of race through community building, education, and action." (Update (6/29/08: Visit Jen's blog about speaking at this event!)

The talk was moderated by Joel Sanchez, a social worker of Latin American who converted to Judaism after discovering his Jewish ancestery. The impetus for the talk was Sanchez's thesis, "Wrestling with the Angel of Identity: Jews of Color" for which he studied Jews of Color, both born Jews and Jews by Choice, establishing common experience and coping mechanisms that Jews of Color use to navigate a Jewish world where Ashkenazim dominate culturally.

Issues addressed by the talk, Sanchez's thesis, video clips and audience commentary included people making (ignorant) assumptions about culture; racism and prejudice towards Jews of Color; the pressure on Jews of Color to adopt Ashekanzi culture at the expense of their own; and much more that reflected how we as Jews love the stranger, especially when that "stranger" is another Jew. Sanchez read portions of the thesis where he focused on the experiences of Jews of Color in the Jewish community. There was a pervading feeling of exclusion and isolation on the part of the Jews of Color. There was also a sense that Jews of Color endure an awesome multicultural juggling act in a world that values and understands having a singular identity. Jews of Color, at least in America, are often assumed to be converts because other Jews and non-Jews alike have very narrow views of who is a Jew and what a Jew looks like.

My favorite points were terms that were new to me but that I've dealt with consistently in my own experiences with the Jewish community:

Microaggressions was a term that Sanchez used to classify the tension in interactions betwen Jews of Color and/or white Jews and non-Jews. For example, one common microaggression occurs when a Jew of Color is constantly asked if he or she converted, the assumption being that a Jew of Color can't possibily be a Jew from Birth. A friend recently forwarded me a blog entitled "Multi-Jew" where a Jew by birth discusses the tense interactions she has with others when they see her Puerto Rican last name. Another common microaggression occuring in shul or community events between has white Jews asking Jews of Color "what are you doing here?", the assumption being that the Jew of Color does not have as much right to be there, or does not belong, because of the questionable status of his or her identity. One Jew of Color offered "I'm fine, how are you Jewish" whenever people asked "How are you Jewish?"

As for the pressure to choose between race and culture, and different parts of their identity, I feel the plight of the Jew of Color (since I am one!) most when people question why it is important to me that my children speak Spanish. Who cares if their Latinos? They're Jewish first! As if, my children can't be both Latino and Jewish and somepart of their identity has to be sacrificed because the other part is more important. And let's not forget that too often a Shabbos or yom tov cannot go by without some harrassment landing my way for not learning to make "more Jewish" foods.

I also liked the term racial spy. A Jew of Color becomes a racial spy when someone makes an incorrect assumption about the identity of the Jew of Color and makes racist or prejudicial comments about parts of the Jew's identity. Does that make sense? I wrote a previous blog about being a racial spy when I discussed how a white Jew, assuming that I was not Hispanic, proceeded to make racist jokes about Latinos. I've also experience racism towards whites when people have assumed that I was white. And people have made anti-Semitic comments in my presence, never imagining that the Latina in front of them is also Jewish. Jen Chau talked about hearing derogatory comments about Jews and Asians when people in the room have assumed that she is not Jewish or Asian.

I would have added the term racial expert. I have frequently been asked to speak for all Hispanics. Friends, even acquaintances, are always asking me why Dominicans in Washington Heights do this or that assuming that as a fellow Dominican, I must have all the answers. A friend recently asked me why Hispanic men blast loud music out of their car speakers. I should have responded that I felt it was presumptuous to ask me the question and expect an answer. But instead, I responded with an answer further feeding the often misleading idea that I am some sort of racial expert, privy to all the inner-workings of all Latinos everywhere.

There was a lot of pain in the room. Too many painful stories were shared. Jen Chau talked about the negative experiences she had while studying for her Bar Mitzvah. Her experiences at her Hebrew school, where classmates taunted her with racial slurs because of her Chinese identity and questioned her Jewish identity, fractured her relationship with Judaism and the Jewish community. A trembling, thoughtful Asian convert offered that he often wanted to leave the Jewish community because of all the racism and prejudice he has experience. He told us that he stays only for his son, who he hopes will have a more positive connection to Judaism and the Jewish community.

The Torah commandment to love the stranger was explored throughout the talk and the idea that all Jews need to work on their relationships with "the stranger," especially in how we deal with Jews of Color, was stressed often. I feel like we as Jews are often so terrible to each other, in some cases, worst to Jews than to non-Jews. I think that the ugliness in relationships between Jews stems from a cycle of prejudice (against other Jews a well as from and for non-Jews) that dehumanizes others by focusing on strangeness, thereby, poisoning all interactions with so-called strangers.

People need to focus on commonalities (we're all Jews, we're all people) and try to hopefully, understand and tolerate difference and value what differences bring to the table. We talk about how unique every Jew, every soul, is but them we socially and emotionally annihilate those who go against the grain. Diversity is wonderful. And, black can be beautiful without white being ugly. We should all be able to see both sides even when we don't understand them. Otherwise, we rob ourselves and others of humanity and it becomes that old game of "us" versus "them": Jew vs. non-Jew, secular Jew vs. religious Jew, etc. We're really no better than the Nazis when we make the broad, racist, prejudicial comments that foster the "us versus them" mentality that leads to all manner of hate crimes, both subtle and violent.

Ode to my little sister

I love having sisters. I don't think I would have survived to adulthood if I had been an only child. I mean, it was tenuous anyway, what with one sister biting me, the other try to strangle me to death and the littlest sister pooping on me. But I have come to appreciate in my old age that I could not have made it without my sisters.

My sister, B., and I have always fought like cats and dogs. We're three years apart. We are opposite sides of the same coin or so we like to think. We think so much alike that we think it's on fair to our opponents to be on the same team when we play boardgames. Now that she's lived in Ohio for almost a year, I call her, text her and email her, however infrequently, in all my moods, but mostly hysterical and excited. One day I call her to catch up: life, work, husbands, etc. The next I call her just to shoot the breeze: "I've walking to the gym and I was just thinking...." But my favorite time to call is when I'm pretty sure I've either lost it or am about to lose it: "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" She responds pretty much the same way every single time. She listens unfailingly. She understands me in the way that only someone who has suffered in the same manner can. Even if she tried to kill me several times growing up because I got dubbed the "good girl" to her "bad girl."

My sister, A., is the surprise. She's seven years younger. I cried my eyes out when I got married and my husband wasn't sure how he felt about my little sister living with us. I wouldn't make it through the week without her. She follows me around making sure I don't overdo it or lose it. We talk for long hours reminiscing about our childhoods, our present and our future. When my husband asks me what I'd do if I won the lottery, I make sure that I mention all the ways I'd change my sisters' lives with an especially long laundry list of things I'd do for A., for A. who does my laundry, my dishes, cleans my toilet and puts me in my place like no one can.

I love my sisters. And I know that I'm incomplete without them. That I can't get through the day without adding their strength to mine. And that I live another day to cajole and pester them.

What I was doing when I wasn't blogging

I've been obsessed for the last few weeks with purchasing a laptop. As previously mentioned, Hubbie and I are headed to Los Angeles for an internship (him) and book writing (me). In between all that work, we're planning to squeeze in Spanish classes (him) and Art classes (me). Instead of dragging my sickly HP desktop to Los Angeles, I decided to take some of my rainy day funds and plug them into a purchase of a new laptop.

Other than this desktop, I've only ever owned laptops. My first laptop in college was purchased with excess financial aid funds. It was my first personal computer ever. I was so excited. Too excited perhaps and so I bought myself a $300 tiny portable printer to go with it because I didn't even have a desk to go with the laptop. I'm sure this didn't help the now ongoing battle I have with carpal tunnel and repetitive stress injury. The laptop was a Compaq Presario with an AMD processor. It was slow and needed repairs so often that I swore I'd never go Compaq again.

My second laptop wasn't actually mine. It was my sister's computer, a shiny new Gateway, that my aunt purchased so my sisters and I could keep in touch while I was on the lamb (after running away from home at 17). The Gateway was famous for being the laptop on which my fourteen-year-old sister instant messaged me over AOL Instant Messenger the day she decided to run away from home. Thanks to that speedy Gateway, my sister escaped within hours. Later, when the Compaq finally died (it now collects dust in a hall closet), my sisters and I shared the Gateway laptop. It gave us some good years and good memories.

My third laptop was the best without question. I bought a souped up Apple Macbook Pro in a cool silver finish with a processor so fast it gave me whiplash. I was supposed to share it with my boyfriend at the time who was going to Photoshop on it to his heart's content. But we broke up soon after the purchase and thankfully, I got the Macbook in the settlement. I just didn't have it for too long. Though I may still be paying it off on my Amex card.

After my fibromyalgia diagnosis, more chaotic carpal tunnel and chronic pains ensued in my upper body, and I was spurred on to replace my Mac with a desktop computer...and an ergonomic split-keyboard and a snazzy program that allowed me to talk while my computer typed, Dragon Naturally Speaking Software (for Windows only). And so my sister and I traded, my Mac for a new HP desktop, not a fair exchange by any means but one made for a future of better health. That HP desktop's taken good care of me but has slowly been degenerating lately: it won't burn DVDs, can't run more than a few programs without slowing to a crawl and announcing via pop-up warning "THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MEMORY TO RUN THIS PROGRAM" and of course, the CPU now purrs, whirring so loud when it's in use that it's often distracted my husband reading at his nearby desk. Yeah, no worries, I'm calling HP today. But considering that Consumer Reports rated their customer service the worst among the computer companies, I'm skeptical about the prognosis.

I've been looking at "ultra-portables" for weeks, hemming and hawing over the 4lb. set of laptops that cost almost as much as my old Macbook but without its high performance rating. My husband advised me firmly not to buy a Dell so scarred was he by the poor history of his former laptop (he now has a Mac). And so I focused in on some heavier HPs, a Toshiba and a pricey Sony Vaio. And then, I perused the Dell website on a whim and discovered the Dell XPS M1330 (nice name) and an offer for a $599 discount. Suddenly, the Sony seemed TOO expensive ($600 too expensive). But I still did my homework anyway, spending hours comparing the Sony Vaio SZ and Dell XPS online on lovely websites like Cnet.com and PCMag.com and Notebookreview.com.

Anger spurred me on when a friend assured me that though the Dell laptop was just as good as the Sony Vaio, poor people like us weren't in Sony's demographics anyway. I suddenly became suspicious of Dell's discount and why they were offering such a good deal. Could there be some hidden flaw? Maybe the XPS was having trouble selling? I decided that visiting them in person might help and while the Sony Vaio SZ was a beauty, the XPS was nowhere to be found in the first Best Buy I visited. The XPS was sold out, in fact. And the ugly, tacky aesthetics of the Dell Inspirions that they did have in stock, left much to be desired.

When I visited the second Best Buy (my husband whined all the way), I found an XPS with a screen an inch bigger than the one I hoped to buy. It wasn't too shabby-looking. But the Sony Vaio was still significantly lighter and despite complaints of its loud, mushy keyboard, I found it much more pleasant to type on. "It sounds a bit like a typewriter," my husband pointed out. We both decided this was very cool, but was it cool enough to fork over $600 more than we would on the Dell?

A pit stop at Barnes & Nobles to return a book, led to a moment of clarity. At checkout, I grabbed the latest issue of Consumer Reports, "Best & Worst Computers" scrawled across the cover with a photo of my (well, maybe) Sony Vaio SZ. No surprises there. The Sony Vaio SZ outperformed the Dell XPS M1330, rating 10 points higher, making it the first "Best lightweight laptop" to the Dell's third place in the same category. And still, there was that little matter of $600 and being unable to find any XPS M1330 in stock at a local Best Buy, forget Circuit City, where a snarky Customer Service rep announced that they don't stock Dell computers.

So, what did I finally choose? I went with the Sony Vaio SZ. For its ergonomics rating in Consumer Reports. Because of an irate Dell customer who announced on the XPS M1330 website that Dragon Naturally Speaking software is rendered useless on her new Dell. And finally, because even though I've never been a constant Sony customer, I've been brainwashed to believe that their overpriced products offer a certain kind of quality that far surpasses all other competitors, well, except for Apple, of course.

As I pine away for the deliveryman to delivery my customized, super-powered Sony Vaio SZ, I hope I made the right choice. But given that part of the calculations that went into this important decision also included a coin toss (Heads for Dell and Tails for Sony) and watching YouTube videos by laptop geeks parading the laptops while talking specs, I wonder about my final choice. This might not have been the most rational decision I've ever made. Well, ever.

Groan.

Branching Out

In Jewish Week, Rabbis Marc Angel, left. and Avi Weiss.

I'd only ever been to one protest before I met Rabbi Avi Weiss. Since then, I've been to many more and I've even sat at home waiting while my husband got arrested protesting the UN (as chronicled in Presentense magazine) with Rabbi Weiss. By the time I actually met Rabbi Weiss personally to discuss having him marry us at the wedding, the stuff I had heard about him seemed the stuff of legend. That's how I learned that Rabbi Weiss is always fighting for some just cause no matter where it takes him in the world.

Most recently, Rabbi Weiss has been featured in the news for fighting for rabbis and for converts. He and Rabbi Marc Angel have both spoken out against the way the new RCA conversion guidelines create a centralization of power and question the authority and ability of the congregation rabbi while hurting the convert no less. His recent decision to create the International Rabbinic Fellowship has people talking about the growing rift between right-wing Modern Orthodoxy and well, everyone else.


And so this time, is Rabbi Weiss's fighting not just about who gets to decide who's a Jew but also who gets to decide who's a rabbi?

From Jewish Week, for more on this story take a look at "Taking On The RCA? New rabbinical group launched to counter rightward shift in Modern Orthodoxy."

Things are heating up

Me (and my hair in all its glory) in Israel circa 2006

And no, I'm not talking about the weather.

The Orthodox Jewish world is being turned on its head as conversion becomes entangled in a larger power struggle between the ultra-Orthodox and the more modern rabbinical authorities. One of the latest articles on the subject, Rabbi Benjamin Lau's "Free Israel" featured in Haaretz, takes me back to one of the worst parts of my trip to Israel. In Israel, our Jewish country of miracle, more than I ever could have imagined possible, I felt myself drowning in the thick animosity between Jews of all denominations. It was there also that I learned that even among Orthodox groups there were tensions that were quickly becoming fractures.

Can't we all just get along?

Apparently not.

We're going to LA for the whole summer

HAIR! HAIR! HAIR!

I am supposed to be sleeping. Oy.

Instead I am completing the homework assignment for my Personal Essay Writing Class:
"Week 7: Staring at the Mirror: Writing about the Physical Self
Assignment: Write about a physical trait of yours that’s always bothered you. 1000 words. "

It's late. And so am I. For bed!

So here's the first draft of Hair.

Revision Frenzy

"Sit down, and put down everything that comes into your head and then you're a writer. But an author is one who can judge his own stuff's worth, without pity, and destroy most of it." Colette

Okay, now I'm cheating on my blog with my Personal Essay Writing class. I'm completely behind because of Pesach (Passover). This is truly pathetic given that it's an online class. Which I paid for. But oh, well, what can you do.

I have never revised so much of my work. Ever. And this comes from a former high school English teacher who forced her students into a serious string of revisions for every essay assignment. And I read them all.

Now, if I could just get someone to read all of mine! My husband grunts through most of them if I deliver them sweetly, fresh from the laser printer, between his online obsession with chess games. My sister's got finals. And I'm not too sure what my friend Devora is doing, my comrade in writing who is abysmal at writing at her blog as of late, but I always end up bugging her anyway.

Meanwhile, here are some crazy rewrites:

The Girl in the Wetsuit has a new introduction after some suggestions from my writing teacher. I added in my context about my personal struggles with having an "unboxed" mixed identity in a world that wants to fit people comfortably into one box at a time.

Also, on my teacher's suggestion I have moved around the storyline for Attack of the Mothers. (Suggestions for a better title are being accepted right now!) Here is the new cut and for those of you who have the time to compare, here is the original.

Family Time

Judaism is an extreme sport as it is but then no one told me about how things can go haywire when you throw "family time" into the mix. With a holiday every other month, sometimes every other week, it seems that Jewish families, especially Orthodox ones, get thrown together much more often than I was exposed to with yearly visits on Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Only two times a year, and sometimes even rarely that, could my fractured family ever suffer to be in the same room for any extended period of time.

It seems that most of my friends survived Pesach (Passover) by surviving their families. Sure, they all laughed during the good times..but sometimes, they also (almost) cried through the bad times. And when there wasn't crying, there was often...yelling!

I told someone that "family time" on a yom tov (Jewish holiday) reminds me of those bad Chevy Chase movies where he dragged his entire brood on vacation and thusly, chaos ensued. Through my fuzzy mathematics, I have observed that family plus bonding equals total, complete and utter chaos.

And yet, I've also deduced that family bonding is under no circumstances avoidable at any cost. Jewish people would rather suffer through their relatives than excommunicate them. And that's, like, totally normal.

This is madness, I tell you, MADNESS!