To Do List for Next Shabbos

Try not to talk about:

1. Politics
2. Homosexuality
3. Taxes
4. Healthcare
5. My seedy past

Try not to talk to guests using ditties like:

1. The F word for emphasis and then...
2. "You're a racist!"
3. "You're a classist!"
4. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
5. "What planet do you live on?"...at the close of conversations.

Practice:
1. Rebbitzen-like poise
2. Listening skills (or pretending to listen, ie, staring at forehead of speaker)
3. Yoga breathing
4. Vulcan-like facial expressions
5. Er, patience

I'm really a peaceful human being.